“This has nothing to do with her. This is about you and me and the fact that we love each other. I’m ready, Jonathon. I love you.”
He growled low in his throat, “Kylie, you are really testing my control here.”
“Please,” I said. I wasn’t opposed to begging.
“We haven’t even discussed this at all. I haven’t even had a chance to explain the risks to you.”
“I don’t care,” I said kissing him.
He tightened his hold on me, “But I do care. I can’t put you at risk like that.”
“Why?” I asked kissing him again hoping to distract him.
He growled again, “I can’t do this.”
“Yes, you can. I want you to.”
“No, you don’t. You’re just doing this because you’re scared. When we finally do this I want it to be special for you. Special for the both of us.”
“It will be special whenever we do it, Jonathon. It doesn’t matter when or where as long as it’s with you.”
He put me down. “So, then you don’t have a problem waiting?”
I sighed, “I don’t want to wait.”
“I can’t put you at risk like this, Kylie. It wouldn’t be fair. You don’t understand the risks of this. I’m not like a human man. Everything about me is so much powerful,” he blushed profusely and set me down. I had never seen him blush before. In fact I had thought it was impossible but here was the evidence. He turned away so I couldn’t see his face, “I can’t do anything to protect you from getting pregnant Kylie. This is so embarrassing,” he said covering his face, “When I met you and told Patrick about you he explained things to me. I have urges just like a human male, Kylie, and you sitting there ready to give me everything isn’t helping. But you have to understand that while some of what I feel and want is like any other male that’s not who I am. I’m a vampire and I’m much more powerful and stronger and I could hurt you. I’m… Ugh, I can’t believe I have to tell you this but I guess we would’ve had to have this talk eventually… I’m…” he stalled again.
“What Jonathon? Just say it,” I said.
“Well, you I am much more… virile. Everything about me is so much more powerful, including procreation,” he blushed. “Patrick tried to explain it to me as best he could. He says that our sperm possess vampire qualities as well. That’s why I can’t prevent you from getting pregnant. Patrick said it eats right through the condom,” I could see his cheeks getting redder, it looked strange with his pale skin; “I don’t want to risk you like that. I can’t.”
“Jonathon,” I began, “I don’t care. I want you. If,” I swallowed, “I get pregnant then we’ll deal with that when the time comes. But for now I want to love you in every possible way.”
“Kylie, you don’t understand what I’m saying. If you get pregnant the pregnancy will kill you. And since you don’t want to become a vampire I’m left with no choice. I will not take your choices away from you. If you don’t want to be a vampire then I won’t risk it. I won’t, Kylie, I won’t do it.”
“Jonathon,” I sighed, “I don’t care about that.”
“You mean to tell me that I have suffered for almost a year because you don’t want to spend eternity with me and you’re willing to throw that all away for one moment of insanity?”
“Seriously, Jonathon, what are the odds of me getting pregnant?”
“Definitely not in your favor.”
“Jonathon, can’t you just let me have this? I mean, even if we were married, the odds still wouldn’t be in my favor. And Jonathon I do not plan on being a nun for the rest of my life simply because I don’t want to be a vampire. So, you’re kidding yourself if you think that.”
“But if we’re married we’ve done it the right way.”
“Jonathon,” I said, “This is the twenty-first century no one waits until they’re married.”
“Please, stop,” he said looking away.
“What difference does it make if it happens today or a year or two years from now?”
With that he growled and pushed me on to his bed lying on top of me. My breathing accelerated and I thought my heart was going to beat right out of my chest, “Woman, you will be the end of me,” he said and silenced any reply I could have made with his mouth. My body immediately responded and I tried to get as close to him as I could. I fisted his shirt in my hands and tried to pull him closer. Knowing what I wanted he moved closer.
He pulled his shirt off and I ran my hands across the smooth, cool, planes of his chest. He was so beautiful it was blinding. My body ached for his touch, ached in ways I had never ached before. I needed him like I needed air.
He kissed my forehead, my nose, my mouth and my neck before moving lower. He tugged my shirt up higher and I removed it. His eyes grew big and he gasped, “You are so beautiful it hurts,” he whispered in my ear before planting a kiss there as well.