Forever (Fallen 3)

“Don’t be mad,” he whispered. “I just thought… I never wanted you to forget where you came from. You gave up everything for me so, I felt like you deserved a piece of your old life.”

“I… I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry,” I croaked as I burst into tears again. I pulled away from his arms and he let me. I rushed into the bathroom and slammed the door closed and locked it behind me.

“Kylie,” he knocked lightly on the door.

“Go away,” I pleaded brokenly. “I’m sorry. I just don’t want you to see me like this,” I leaned over the sink taking deep gasping breaths.

“Like what?”

A complete and total basket case.

“Just- please go away,” I cried.

After a few moments I heard his feet padding away.

I was a mess. Jonathon was amazing. This honeymoon was amazing. This house was amazing. Our house…

I wanted to hit or yell at myself! I had serious issues if I was freaking out about the location of our home. Jonathon was doing this because he loved me. He wanted to give me a piece of my old life and I wasn’t sure I wanted it. What was wrong with me? I sat down on the closed toilet seat and sniffled. I dabbed at my face with a wet cloth. The pain never got any easier did it? My dad was dead and that still hurt and even though he was gone and my mom was now a vampire the pain of the divorce still hurt. And then there was the pain that went with my mother. She had tried to kill herself a day after we arrived in Rome. Try. I rolled my eyes. She had more than tried. She had succeeded. And now she was a vampire. I had barely seen anything of my mother since then. I didn’t really want to deal with her. She had hurt me and I still wasn’t over it, which was ridiculous. I was nineteen years old and married. More than an adult. So why couldn’t I forgive and forget? Because I was a bad person, that was the only answer I had. But still… It wasn’t really safe to be around my mother. Jonathon said that she was struggling with being a vampire more than most. But even if I could be around her I knew that I wouldn’t want to be. Why? I am a horrible selfish person, that’s why.

That thought brought on another crying fit. At the rate I was going my tear ducts would be dried out before nightfall. I went and looked at myself in the mirror. I knew I needed to let everything go. Put the past in the past. Forgive my mother for what she did. If the roles were reversed, and I lost Jonathon, I knew I would do what she did. Kill myself. Without Jonathon my life would have no meaning.

I wiped my face off with some warm water. It didn’t help my appearance at all.

I unlocked the door and crept into the bedroom. He wasn’t there. I had thought

I heard him go downstairs so that’s where I headed. Passing the oval window, I saw that it was now sunset. Once at the bottom of the stairs I found Jonathon sitting on the couch with his back turned to me. He was staring at nothing. Just sitting. From the slope of his shoulders I could tell he was upset. And that was my fault. I had done that to him.

“Jonathon,” I my voice cracked. He didn’t turn even though I knew he heard me. “Jonathon,” I repeated more clearly.

His head turned slowly.

“I’m sorry,” I croaked.

“Don’t be sorry,” he whispered.

“But I am sorry,” I took a step closer.

“I shouldn’t have brought you here. It was wrong of me. What was I thinking?” he asked the ceiling.

I took another step. His back was still turned to me, still in the same position on the couch.

“You were thinking that you love me. And I was being ungrateful. Jonathon, this is the best gift you could have given me.”

“I already called the realtor. It goes up for sale tomorrow.”

“No,” I said firmly, clasping my hands together. “This is my house too and you will do no such thing. This is more than a house to me Jonathon. This is my home. This is where I grew up. You just took me by surprise, that’s all. I’m really sorry. But this really is the best gift you could have given me.”

“How is that?” He asked the wall.

“You gave me the gift of healing. This is a way for me to move on. A way for me to be home and not have it hurt. It’s a way for me to keep a piece of my old life.”

He turned to look at me. “You mean that,” it was a statement and not a question. He could hear the sincerity ring in my voice.

“I do,” I said even though it was unnecessary. “I’m a girl, I’m emotional, what can I say?”

He walked over towards me and I met him halfway. “If you want me to sell the house we can. It won’t hurt my feelings.”

“I love the house,” I looked around. “And I love you even more.” I stood on tiptoe to kiss his marble sculpted lips.