Liam laughed, his body shaking in front of me. “Outside, Olls! They’re outside!”
“Cheeeeetoooooos. Move. Get out of my way!” Ollie chanted, and I was sure he was shoving people out of his way.
Liam turned around to face me, and I smiled apprehensively at him. “How many people did you invite to this party?”
He looked sheepish and ducked his head. “Uh…Ollie, Talia,” he began to tick people off on his fingers, “Brady, Jeremiah, Rebecca, a few of the other people you work with that Rebecca said were off, and knowing Ollie, the rest of Malibu was probably invited. Hence the reason I’ve only had parties on the Fourth of July in the past. Ollie likes to invite strangers,” he hissed under his breath like it was some sort of secret.
I laughed lightly. Knowing Ollie, he’d probably invite the old lady in line behind him at the grocery store if he felt inclined.
Taking a step away from him since I felt more comfortable and free from the penetrating gazes of the surprise party guests, I ventured to ask, “How do you know Rebecca so well?”
Liam scrunched his face up in some sort of embarrassed wince. “I used to go to Mo’s all the time.”
“Used to…” I repeated, fighting a sting of hurt. “Before I came along, you mean.”
I started to brush past him, but he wrapped his hand around my elbow and pulled my back flush against his chest. My breath left me in a gush when his lips brushed the shell of my ear.
“I couldn’t bear to be around you. Not when you provoked such unwanted feelings in me. You made—make,” he corrected, “me feel alive, and for so long I’ve been nothing but dead inside. I didn’t know how to handle that, so I stayed away from you as much as possible. No more, though.” His hand slid around my elbow and over to the curve of my stomach before venturing lower to settle at my waist. “I didn’t want to want you, but I do want you, and I’m not staying away anymore, Ari. You know that. Don’t hold my past behavior over my head. I was doing what I thought I had to in order to stay sane. Everything I did and said, none of it has ever been your fault. It’s mine. All mine.” He lowered his head, and his hair tickled the skin of my neck before his soft lips pressed ever so lightly against the spot where my pulse thumped like mad.
“What are we, Liam?” I whispered softly, my hooded eyes staring back at me in the mirror hanging in the foyer. He lifted his head, looking at our forms reflected in the mirror too. His lips twitched into a wry half-smile, like he was pleased by what he saw.
He grasped my hips and turned me around so I was facing him. His hair was drying now and the shaggy strands brushed the tops of his eyebrows. “I don’t know,” he answered with complete honesty, “but I hope you give me the chance to figure it out.” His face fell into darkened shadows and he confessed, “I don’t want to fuck this up, but I probably will. It’s what I do.”
“One day at a time,” I told him in as reassuring of a tone as I could muster. “Don’t overthink this.”
He nodded and took a step away from me. I hated the distance between us, but I had to listen to my own words, too. One day at a time. Baby steps. Both of us were trying to figure out our lives but for different reasons, and thinking about a relationship would only add to that stress. Liam needed to focus on surfing and I...
Fuck.
I needed to focus on leaving.
That one word was like a sucker punch to the gut. How could I possibly leave? I liked it there. I liked the people. And I maybe, kinda-sorta, might have definitely fallen head over heels in love with Liam. I couldn’t abandon that. I’d made a new life for myself—one I loved.
I was going to be sick just thinking about it.
But I knew I should. I’d be safer and so would the ones I’d grown to care about.
That little nagging voice that belonged to my conscience urged me to flee that night—the sooner I was gone the better, before I fell any deeper, but the devil on my shoulder urged me to stay and that voice was so much louder.
“We’re missing the party,” Liam prompted, pulling me from my stupor.
“Oh, right.” I shook my head and straightened my dress. “Do I look okay?” I questioned nervously.
His eyes roamed my body much the way he’d done in my room, but the hunger in his pale-blue eyes only seemed to strengthen. “Fucking gorgeous.”
I smiled widely. “I’m not sure what fucking gorgeous is on the scale.”
His eyes glinted devilishly, and I knew I was in for it. His voice lowered and it dripped with sex. “Fucking gorgeous is the kind where you’re so beautiful all I can think about doing is ripping that dress off your body, laying you down on the table, and fucking you so hard that you can’t walk straight for three days.”
I gulped.
His lips lifted in a pleased smirk at having left me speechles
s.
“Considering we have a party to attend, that doesn’t seem like a viable option at the moment. Besides, I know you’re not ready for that yet.” He winked, and I felt my whole body clench with the need for him to touch me. I’d never felt anything like that before.
“How do you know that?” I didn’t know how I managed to speak the words, but I was glad I did.