His chest pressed against mine, his mouth devouring me.
My pants filled the air as his hands roamed my body, lower, lower, lower.
“Ari?” he questioned.
“Please,” I begged, “oh God, please touch me.”
He buried his head in the crook of my neck at the same time I felt his fingers slide inside. I gasped and he stifled the sound with his mouth. My hips moved against his fingers, rocking slowly in a rhythm all their own.
My brain fogged over, all thoughts disappearing except for the pleasure I felt. I closed my eyes and whimpered. I’d never felt anything like that, and when I’d imagined sex it had never felt like that.
“Ari,” Liam whispered my name over and over again.
I cried out, lights bursting behind my eyes.
Liam quieted my cries with whispered endearments and his soft kisses. When I opened my eyes, the world around me seemed brighter—more clear.
“Are you ready?” His fingers slipped from me and he grasped my hips in both hands. I swallowed thickly and nodded. “I’m not going to lie to you, this is going to hurt, but it’ll be okay. Just look at me, right at me.” He nodded, waiting for me to make eye contact with him. “Look at me,” he whispered again in a soft moan. “Listen to my voice. Relax.”
I took a deep breath, locking my eyes on his as he rolled on a condom.
“It’s going to be okay,” he assured me.
I nodded and then I felt him ease inside me. My eyes closed and he stopped.
“Look at me,” he pleaded. “Remember, you have to look at me. I need to know you’re okay, and I can’t do that if your eyes are closed.”
I blinked one eye open and then the other. His lips lifted in a half-smile.
“I love you,” he told me, and then in one harsh thrust forward he was all the way inside.
I let out a small scream, and a tear leaked from the corner of my eye.
He hadn’t been lying. It hurt—even worse than I expected. He didn’t move for a moment, giving me a chance to recover and find my breath. I was thankful for that—he was so patient with me.
When my heart had slowed a bit and I could breathe again, I nodded. “I’m okay.” He looked at me doubtfully. “I am,” I assured him.
He lowered, and my breasts pushed up against his chest with every breath I took.
“You’re perfect,” he murmured, taking one of my breasts in his hand.
He began to move, slowly at first. The pain returned momentarily, but then it was gone, and I was left only with a feeling of fullness.
“Liam,” I panted, my palms damp with sweat against his chest. “Oh God.” I began to move my hips in time with his.
His hand skimmed my thigh in a feather-light touch, and I shivered from the sensation.
The air between us was heavy and charged with emotion. The room could have burned down around us and I would have never noticed.
His hands found mine, and our fingers clasped together.
His mouth swallowed my gasps, and I quieted his groans.
I’d been worried about sex—about my inexperience—but then, I had no fears. I belonged there in his arms. Maybe even as fucked up as my life had been it was all leading me to that moment. To him.
With a cry, I came again and Liam wasn’t far behind me.
Afterwards, he pulled out of me and disposed of the condom before crawling back into bed beside me. We both lay on our backs, but my body curled against his. His fingers rubbed soothing circles over the skin of my arm, and I traced random patterns on his chest.