I squinted out at the waves, something about those words resonating with me when nothing else had.
I didn’t know if I could do it, though—put my heart on the line again. I’d laid it all out there for her, fucking begged her not to end it like that. The last thing I could handle would be having her reject me a second time.
I’d guessed time would only tell what would happen.
And like Ollie said, time fucks all of us.
You’re damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.
Ari
Everyone is a liar.
Some lies we tell are bigger, and some smaller.
A lie, no matter its size, can tear people apart.
Lies define us.
And me?
I was the biggest liar of them all.
I lied to myself. I lied to Liam. I lied to everyone around me.
I was buried so deep in lies that I was beginning to wonder what was real and what wasn’t.
“How’s that couch treating you?” Rebecca asked, breezing out of her bedroom and into the small kitchen.
“Eh,” I groaned.
“That bad, huh?” She laughed, rifling through the refrigerator for the carton of eggs. “Are you ever going to tell me what happened with you and Liam?”
I rolled my eyes. In the week I’d been staying there, she’d
asked me that every day.
“Not in this century.” I rubbed at my tired eyes.
“So, when I’m reincarnated you’ll tell me?”
I laughed and shoved the blankets off my legs. “Yep, you bet.”
“My future self holds you to that.” She pointed a spatula at me. “You want some eggs?”
“Yeah, sure.” I shrugged, heading to the bathroom to shower. I’d offer to help her, but there was only room for one person in her kitchen. The whole place was tiny, and her rent was super expensive. I insisted on contributing for as long as I stayed—which wouldn’t be much longer. I’d found a place to stay in Wyoming, and I was putting the deposit down that night when I was able to get to transfer the money. It was an out of the way place, in the middle of nowhere, and I figured I’d be safe there for a while. I’d already come to terms with the fact that I’d have to live the life of a nomad. I’d grown too attached to the people in California, and it had made me stay, but I wouldn’t make that mistake again. I wouldn’t be making any friends in Wyoming, so it’d be easier to leave when the time came.
Rebecca, Ollie, nor Talia, knew I was leaving. I didn’t want any of them to ask questions or to beg me to stay. Besides, they’d want to stay in touch and I couldn’t allow that to happen, as much as I wanted to keep them in my life.
I had to say goodbye to them.
To all of it.
I didn’t have to work that day, but Rebecca did, so I was using the time to get everything in order. As soon as my apartment was secured, I was on a bus out of there. I knew Rebecca, Ollie and Talia, and maybe even Liam would be shocked and hurt by my sudden disappearance, but it was what I had to do. Rebecca, Ollie, and Talia would never understand why I would leave without saying goodbye, but Liam would know, and I took comfort in that.
When I emerged from the bathroom, dressed for the day in a pair of shorts and a tank top, I found Rebecca washing her plate with mine waiting for me on the counter.
“Your eggs will be cold, slow poke,” she quipped, washing off the frying pan.