Just friends. It’s all she wants from me.
I know she’s attracted to me, that much is obvious, but … if she feels anywhere near what I feel she’s damn good at hiding it. Unfortunately, I think she’s content being friends and fuck if I don’t feel hurt by it. The first time I feel something real it has to be with a girl who’s not only off limits but doesn’t want to give me the time of day.
It shouldn’t bother me, I wish it didn’t, but it does.
It feels like some sort of punishment for my behavior.
The universe finally gives me a girl I’m genuinely attracted to for more than sex and I
can’t act on my feelings for several reasons. Even if her dad wasn’t an issue and my career wasn’t on the line, I’d never try to pressure her into anything she didn’t want to do. I might be an asshole at times, but I’m not a total douchebag.
Realizing I’ve been quiet too long I say, “It does … mean a lot.”
Mia Hayes has grown up around music all her life, it’s what she wants to do in the future too, and I know she has an ear for sound. Therefore, her approval does mean the world to me. I can tell it’s not something she gives out lightly.
She smiles at me, a rare, beautiful smile, entirely genuine. It’s one she doesn’t usually give me, but maybe she’s growing to like me more. Why is it I selfishly hope she is? The fact of the matter is I don’t deserve someone as pure hearted as Mia in my life let alone as a friend or lover.
“We better head back,” I warn her.
She looks at the time on her phone, cursing under her breath. “You’re right.”
We throw the trash away and hurry back to the bike. I haul ass back to her campus, thankfully it’s not far, and she squeezes me tight the whole time.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t soaking in the feel of her body wrapped around mine, afraid this might be the only time I ever have her this close.
11
Mia
Only a few hours have passed since my lunch with Hollis when I walk into the studio, Dean Wentworth hot on my heels. He’s my age, and the boyfriend of my cousin Willow. Technically, Willow and I are not cousins by blood, but since she’s Maddox’s—the drummer in my dad’s band—daughter it totally counts.
“Come on,” Dean whines behind me, on my heels like a dog. “It’s one song. I want to record it for Willow and give it to her for Christmas.”
“We’re not running a charity here,” I grumble, turning to look at him over my shoulder. His Pokémon shirt is pulled taut over his lean body. He’s the definition of the word adorkable and it makes perfect sense why he clicks so well with free-spirited Willow.
“Please,” he begs.
“No,” I snap. I actually like Dean, but he’s all too fun to mess with.
“Uncle Hayes will let me.” He narrows his green eyes on me.
Dean and I are actually related by blood. His dad and mine are cousins. But I’ve always grown up closer to my dad’s bandmates’ kids than him and his siblings. On the road, we only had each other. It made sense to stick together.
Dean follows me into the back and straight into the recording room The Wild has been occupying.
“Jesus, I can’t shake you,” I grumble. Looking up my eyes connect with Hollis’s and he looks livid eyeing Dean behind me.
Someone is jealous, and I selfishly love it.
“Dean,” my dad crows. “What a nice surprise.”
I toss my thumb over my shoulder. “In Dean’s words, he’d like to commandeer one of the booths to record a song for Willow to give her for Christmas.” I pretend to gag. “Love makes me choke,” I joke. I actually like being in love. The problem is the guys I fall for end up being jerks and I end up hurt. It’s why I know I have to keep Hollis at arm’s length. It’d be all too easy to fall into the abyss that is him and he’s one man I’m not sure I could recover from. I can’t help but glance in his direction and watch as his eyes settle from a blazing gold to a soft amber as he realizes I’m not interested in Dean.
I practically vomit at the thought.
“Not a problem,” my dad says. “Let me know when you need a booth and I can help you out. Or Mia can. She knows what to do.” I glare at my dad but he’s oblivious.
Dean gives me a triumphant smile and I stick out my tongue. I can’t help but dissolve into laughter. Pretending to be irritated with Dean never lasts long. He’s too big of a goof to actually be mad at.