Caught for Christmas (Stripped 3.50)

I consider making a dirty joke about that or maybe just flat out refusing. Except what would be the point? He proved in that basement that he could master me if he chooses. And after what happened in that alley… Don’t think about that.

After what happened in that alley, I don’t really have any fight left in me.

I take a sip. The hot liquid burns its way down, but it doesn’t touch the chill inside me.

West’s frown deepens. He sits across from me on the rustic wood coffee table. I barely feel the cup leave me fingers as he sets it aside.

“Bianca. Talk to me.”

I tilt my head. “About what?”

He gives me a low laugh, almost like he’s laughing at himself. “About what happened in that alley. About what I did to you in that basement. Hell, you can talk to me about the weather if you want to. I just need to hear your voice. I need to know you’re okay.”

“I’m not okay.”

He swears under his breath. “Shit. After what your parents did, of course you’re not.”

“How do you know she’s my parent?”

He gives me a self-deprecating look. “I’m not blind. As much as I’ve tried to be since I started working at the Grand. It’s hard to miss the resemblance.”

“Yeah.” My voice sounds hollow. “I’ve always looked like her.”

I’ve always been like her, using my body and my smile to get what doesn’t belong to me. I tried to change. I tried to go straight, but look where that got me.

He swears again. “I should have had her arrested.”

I feel strangely numb, as if I’m only watching things happen. “Why didn’t you?”

“It would have been complicated to explain your involvement. And we would have had to go down to the police station tonight.”

I pull the afghan tighter around my shoulders, grateful I’m at his loft instead of a cold police station. “What are you going to do with me?”

“Right now? I’m going to put you to bed. You’re falling asleep just sitting there.”

“You were never going to turn me in, were you?” I say suddenly, already knowing it’s true.

He shakes his head slowly. “We got word that someone was offering cash for the security code. Blue had the idea to give it to them, to set the ambush and catch them in the act.”

And then I really would have been in a jail cell tonight. “You didn’t let him. Why?”

Because he wanted to fuck me? He didn’t even do that. Because he wanted to taste me? There were easier ways to accomplish that.

Hope beats in my breast that maybe it’s something more. Maybe it’s because he cares about me. I’ve spent my whole life stealing or being stolen from, being a thief or being a mark. I could never trust him. Never trust anyone.

“You need rest,” he says gently. “We can talk in the morning.”

And just like that the hope quiets.

Even if he did care about me before, how could he now? And even if he did still care, how could he ever trust me? I’ve ruined the only good thing I ever had, before I even knew I had it.

And I realize it isn’t about whether I can trust in him. I already know he’s good. My knight in shining armor. The question is whether I’m worthy of him, whether I deserve this—and I know the answer to that too. I’ve been nothing but a thief and a liar my whole life, from the moment I came out of the womb. Worthless.

Chapter Fourteen

I wake to a soft sound in the pitch-black. It takes me a minute to realize where I am. Not on my narrow bed with my thin, old sheets—but in West’s bed, a wide, plush mattress topped with butter-soft sheets. It smells faintly of him, spice and skin. I wish he were here with me, but I know without reaching for the other side of the bed that he’s not.

The soft sound draws my attention to the window, where rain has begun to fall. It’s still too warm to snow, but the glass, when I press my palm against it, feels like ice.