A shudder works through my body. I contemplated hurting Leader Allen so many times. Every afternoon, our daily prayers. His wrinkled face above me, flushed red, panting.
Then when Candy brought those dangerous men back to Harmony Hills, I knew that was my chance. My only chance to escape. And I took it.
“I’ve never been more scared in my life.”
He laughs softly. “You were a goddess. And the strongest woman I’ve ever met.”
He must have met so many women—beautiful, confident women. And of course he’s seen Candy. Our looks are similar, both blonde, both slender. But she has wide eyes and full lips, curves in all the right places. “I’m not anything special.”
“You wanted to know why I worked for Ivan. We met when we were kids. Both stupid, fucked up—sorry. Both of us dumb kids who wanted to get out of the barrio. He lived in a group home, parents long gone. I still had my mom at home. She turned tricks to keep food on the table.”
Sympathy clenches my heart. It’s hard to imagine this large man as a small boy, vulnerable to the cruelties of the world. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It made us tough. Forged in fucking—forged in fire. Like you, Beth. That’s what I see when I look at you. A goddamn mirror.”
My breath halts. “Me?”
“You and me, we’re the same.”
I swallow hard.
The sound of a cabinet door thumping draws my attention to the far end of the plane. Delilah tugs on a door, but it’s caught by some kind of lock that must keep it closed during flight. Her black curls shimmer under the ambient lighting, a dark angel.
She doesn’t look anything like her father, at least not how I knew him—old and deranged. It would be a comfort to imagine that she was implanted by God, but I know better. Despite what Leader Allen preached, God never lived in Harmony Hills.
“I learned not to fight,” I whisper. “Not to speak. Not to breathe when he didn’t want me to.”
The creak of leather lets me know Luca leans forward. “I’d kill that fucker all over again if I could.”
Maybe we are the same, because I would too. “I don’t want to be quiet anymore.”
“No,” he agrees gently. “Don’t stop fighting me either.”
Chapter Twelve
I’ve never been to Tanglewood, the city where Candy hid after she left Harmony Hills. All I know is what she’s told me—the strip clubs, the gambling. The fighting rings where Luca spends his nights.
My heart thuds, a heavy beat. Working my way through the small cities has been hard enough. Learning the street signs, the strange customs that everyone knows but me. Counting money. Buying food. Every single step has been a steep climb.
Now I’m going to the biggest city I’ve seen, the darkest.
We find another string of black SUVs waiting outside when we land. They drive us through the city, which alternates between mansions and tenements, skyscrapers and gutters.
Ivan’s house is like a castle in the center of the city, an urban fortress with high stone walls and sleek black cameras nestled into corners. Candy meets me on the front steps, eyes glistening with tears.
“Oh my gosh,” she says, her voice awed. “She’s beautiful, Beth.”
Delilah resisted going back in her car seat for takeoff, but the rumble of the engine put her to sleep immediately. Now she blinks up at Candy, eyes wide and hazy.
“Thank you,” I say, flushing with nervous pride. Motherhood isn’t something I ever wanted for myself. I never imagined a happy home because I knew that was impossible. Duty. Pain. Those were the things that led me here, but I can’t regret it. Not when I look at the trust in her dark eyes.
Candy pulls us inside, where marble floors expand for miles and chandeliers twinkle overhead. Luca excuses himself to look for Ivan, leaving me in a living room that could fit a hundred people.
“This place is like a palace,” I say, my voice hushed.
She laughs, the sound knowing. “Pretty different from the Great Hall.”
The Great Hall was kind of a joke, even among the true believers. There was nothing great about the dirt floors and the whitewashed walls. Bars on the windows made it look more like a prison than a gathering place.