I’m worrying. Bad enough that Luca has to do something that reminds him of his past, that makes him feel unsettled, unsafe. That makes him feel like the little boy in the barrio. Bad enough that he’ll be bruised and beaten at the end of the night, even if he wins.
But to think he might not walk away from the fight? Dread snowballs inside me.
She touches my arm. “Beth, I’m really sorry. Luca will be fine. I’m sure of it.”
I take deep breaths, soaking in the thick air around me. “No, of course. You’re right. Just…maybe distract me. Where’s Bailey?”
“She’s having a sleepover with her Uncle Philip. They have a new baby, and she loves to help out with her.”
Some of my tension eases. “That’s adorable. Do you ever think of having another one?”
A smile plays at her lips. “Actually…”
My eyes widen. “Are you serious?”
“We haven’t told anyone except family yet, but…yes.”
I reach over to give her a hug, unable to help myself. “I’m so happy for you.”
She squeezes me back, holding on another minute. When she pulls back, her eyes are shining. “Thank you. I’m really happy—terrified, but happy. What about you?”
My laugh is unsteady. “Another baby? I can barely keep up with Delilah.”
Her gaze scans the crowd. “What about Luca?”
A lump forms in my throat. “What about him?”
“He could help you.”
“A man like him isn’t in it for the long haul.”
She’s quiet, a sea of serenity in the madness of the crowd. “I don’t know. I think a man like him might be exactly the kind of man who’s in it for the long haul.”
“What kind of man is that?”
“The kind of man who knows a good thing when he’s found it. The kind of man who’ll hold on to it as long as he can.”
I can’t look at her or the crowd. I can only stare down at my hands as if they hold the secrets of the universe. Is there a God—and if there is, what does He think of me? Is it sinful to let Luca rub between my legs? Or is it the only heaven I’ll ever know?
A roar comes from the crowd, and I look up to see Luca head toward the ring from the opposite side. He ignores the crush of people reaching for him, looking more fierce and intent than I’ve ever seen him. His eyes are hard black diamonds, glittering even from across the warehouse. He ducks between the ropes, Colin behind him.
And if you still want me once the fight is over, it will be my privilege to fuck you, too.
The memory of his words wash over me in a sensual rush.
Clamor drags me back into the present, a wild cheer as another man steps out—this one coming from the double doors right near us. He’s built tall and thick, a brick wall. He’s wearing a robe that leaves his face in shadow. Menace rolls off him, almost palpable. The only thing I can see through the darkness are his eyes, flat and cold.
My stomach turns over with instinctive discomfort.
A man in a suit speaks into a microphone, rallying the crowd to louder and louder heights. The sound becomes waves, crashing over me. It’s impossible to speak to Allie, even yelling. I can’t even think with this much commotion around me, sweeping me up into its frenetic energy. It feels like the exorcisms Leader Allen would do, his violence turning the crowd into a mob. In fact, that’s who the other fighter’s eyes remind me of—Leader Allen’s, hollow and reptilian. He takes off his robe, revealing ropes of muscle layered on top of each other. He’s in the corner nearest me, so I can’t see his face.
The only comfort is West, the guard, who stands a few rows back from me.
I’m grateful to Luca for sending him to guard me.
The buzzer goes off, and the fight begins.
Both men circle each other, throwing easy hits that aren’t returned. They’re testing each other. I’ve watched Luca fight all week. I know his style. He’s holding back plenty.