No. It hadn’t been. That was so far from the truth, he should take it back immediately. That kiss had been about need. About exploring what had changed, what was exciting about who they were now.
Deny it, Cara. Tell me it meant something.
“That’s the problem.” Her mouth turned down. “A relationship is what I want. Or I did. Now I don’t think I do.”
“What do you want?” He was clearly so bad at this, so bad at reading her, he should win a Terrible Person in a Crisis award.
“My whole life I’ve wanted to have a big wedding and be blissfully happy as Mrs. Someone. And then you left.” She speared him through the heart with a baleful glance and went on without even giving him an opportunity to counter the offense. “I told myself no more pining for what obviously isn’t meant to be and put my head down to make something of Cara Chandler-Harris Designs. When I looked up, I had a wedding dress business instead of a husband. And that’s probably what should have happened. During the last few days, I realized I don’t even know what love is.”
Misery pulled at her expression, dampening her eyes, and it was so painful, Keith cupped her face with his palms, forcing her to look at him. “Who does? You think Meredith and Paolo are in love and that’s why she knows the answers to a few inane questions? Love isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”
Love probably didn’t even exist. It had never touched his existence in any form or fashion. But the greeting card industry would have the entire world believing in it if it had its way. So what did he know?
“Obviously.” She made a face. “It’s just hard. I thought I was trying to get over you, and instead I got a great big wake-up call that I have no idea what a relationship should be. Now what am I supposed to do?”
“Sounds like you need a hot and heavy tropical island fling with someone who knows how to treat you right,” he suggested with an eyebrow lift. “No pressure. No wedding bells in the future. It would be nothing but two consenting adults having some fun.”
Which was not so coincidentally what he needed, too, more than he could possibly explain to her. Or himself. That’s why he preferred to keep things temporary and easy—because he wasn’t good at anything else.
“That would be great, except Paolo seems pretty happy with my sister.”
“Ouch.” It took every ounce of his considerable stamina to utter that one word without sounding pathetic.
She eyed him. “I’ll take your words of wisdom under advisement, okay? Thanks for hanging out with me, but I’m beat and I just need to shut my eyes in a tomorrow-is-another-day kind of thing.”
He’d been dismissed. Soundly. “Get some sleep. I’ll be around.”
Keith let himself out and cursed the fates that had seen fit to strand him on an island with a woman he wanted more than his next breath but couldn’t seem to get naked.
Somehow he’d managed to have an emotionally charged conversation and gotten through it without having a heart attack. And he had the distinct impression he’d also managed to give Cara the support she’d needed without taking a thing for himself.
What was she doing to him?
He dashed through the rain to the other building and went to his room instead of back to the party. He preferred being alone anyway, didn’t he?
* * *
When Cara opened her eyes, she was shocked to note the clock read 7:00 a.m.
The lump in the next bed had appeared sometime during the night. Cara hadn’t even heard Meredith come in. Either her sister had learned to enter a hotel room at something less than the force of a tornado, or Cara had been more exhausted than she’d realized. She’d slept the whole night through without waking once.
After the kiss and Keith being all understanding and strong and spread out over her bed like the best possible thing she could have ordered from room service, she’d been convinced the combination would result in a sleepless night of tossing and turning.
Apparently not.
She rolled from the bed and peeked out the window in the off chance it had stopped raining. It hadn’t. She rolled her twinging ankle. Not too sore today. Maybe it would be fun to jog on the beach in the rain. At least the odds of running into Keith were slim.
She was still downhearted to discover all her hopes and dreams were twisted up. And she had no crystal ball to help her sort out what her real goals were. What they should be. Keith would only make her confusion worse.
He met up with her ten yards outside her door.