I hang up and throw the phone on the dash. My fingers flex on the steering wheel as my foot presses down on the gas petal, moving me from sixty-five miles an hour to eighty. It’s a damn good thing the roads in these parts are deserted.
“What’s going on?” JW asks, and I cast him a look out the corner of my eye.
“Remi’s in labor and she’s hemorrhaging.”
Anxiety has my foot pressing down farther on the accelerator. There could be any number of reasons why Remi is losing blood. Some not so serious and some life threatening. The thought of something happening to Remi turns my stomach, more than it should. It’s not the usual misgiving I get when I can’t help a patient. It’s more, and fuck if I know what that more is and why I feel it.
“What’s going on between you and her?”
JW’s question comes out quiet, but I hear the accusation in his tone. I want to beat my fist against the steering wheel, then use the same fist on JW’s face. I restrain, but just barely. I can’t fault him for asking. My behavior is telling. I’d be anxious and worried about any patient of mine, but even JW can tell this goes further than mere concern.
“Because you know it wouldn’t work out between you two,” he continues when I don’t reply. “She wouldn’t understand what we do in Malus. She’d flip the fuck out and report us, and that shit can’t happen. I’m still waiting on a phone call back for the report on Remi that you wanted, so we’ll know more about her then.”
I hear his underlying threat. As much as we’re against innocent children and women being hurt, protecting Malus and its citizens are our priority. Not to mention taking out the rest of our past tormenters. Jeopardizing either is something that is not an option.
As much as I want to claim there’s nothing going on, something tells me it would be a lie. As eager as I was to scratch off another name on our list, I hated leaving Remi. I’ve thought about her too many times over the last couple of days. No one’s ever captured my attention so much, and I don’t know how to deal with these unwanted feelings. All I know is, I need to find a way to extract them. They’re a distraction I can’t afford and could be potentially dangerous for her. I refuse to think about the consequences, because I’m not entirely sure I’ll be able to hold back my temper at the thought of her being hurt.
I don’t answer JW’s question. There’s no need to. We both know nothing can ever happen between Remi and I.
The cab remains quiet the rest of the trip. I slam on the brakes in the office parking lot twenty-eight minutes later. JW only lives a few blocks away, so I don’t bother to drop him off at his place. He’ll make the short trek on foot.
As soon as I kill the engine, I throw my door open and rush to the back entrance. I’ve dealt with many medical issues and injuries over the years. I’ve always remained level-headed; you have to in this field, because if you don’t, it could mean someone’s life. I’m having a damn hard time remaining calm right now as I sprint toward the patient rooms. I have no clue what I’m walking into, and that makes me nervous as fuck.
My worry rises when I hear Remi’s screams before I even make it to the room. My stomach drops to my damn toes when I push through the door. Remi
looks deathly pale—which isn’t a good sign—and her face is drenched in sweat. She’s lying back on the bed, her legs in stirrups, and Susan sits on a stool examining her, blood coating the front of her scrubs. Jenny’s standing beside the bed, holding Remi’s hand.
What has me more worried is the sheer panic on Remi’s face. Her chest heaves rapidly as she pants. A piercing scream has me flinching and my heart slams against the walls in my chest. She needs to calm down. The more upset she gets, the faster her blood flows.
Remi’s eyes lock on mine, and the panic intensifies. Her face scrunches in pain and another heart-rendering wail leaves her lips. I walk over to the bed.
“You need to calm down,” I tell her as gently as I can. I have no damn clue how I keep my voice steady when I feel anything but on the inside. I’m just as scared as she is.
Get it together, Trouble, I berate myself. You’re a Goddamn doctor. Now act like it.
The fear doesn’t leave her face. If anything, it gets worse. In a move far too fast for a woman in her situation, she reaches out, grabs the front of my shirt, and tugs me forward until I’m only inches away from her.
“I’m scared,” she says forcefully between clenched teeth. “What if something’s wrong with the baby? What if it’s too early? What if he’s not ready to be in this world yet? I can’t lose him, Trouble.” Her voice cracks and she closes her eyes. “I love him so much already. I just can’t lose him. Please make sure my baby is okay.”
Her cries become hysterical and it tears apart something inside of me. I palm her cheek and wipe away the sweat and tears.
“Hey.” When she doesn’t look at me, I say it louder. Her eyes remain closed, but her fingers wrapped in my shirt tighten. Her breathing is coming entirely too fast. If she keeps this up, she’ll pass out.
I do the only thing I can think of at the moment. Something that I hope will distract her long enough for her to listen to me. I press my lips to hers. Even in a serious situation such as this, and the point of the kiss is to shock and divert her attention from the pain and worry, I still can’t help but notice how good she tastes and how soft her lips feel against mine. Despite it being wrong, I’d give damn near anything to kiss her at another time when I can explore it further. My dick jumps in my jeans, as if in agreement.
Just as I had hoped, this kiss has its desired effect. Her breath stills in her throat for a brief moment, before she shudders out a much calmer one. The tremors wracking her body only seconds ago fade away.
The kiss is short and simple. Just as I pull away, a deep painful moan leaves her throat, attesting to another contraction hitting her. Thankfully, the panic is no longer so prominent in her features.
“You need to try to stay calm, baby.” I tell her, keeping my face close to hers. “Stress isn’t good for the baby. Everything’s going to be okay.”
She nods, but I can still see the worry lingering.
“You ready to meet your boy?”
That earns me a smile and her features soften. I push away the damp hair and kiss her forehead before turning away, satisfied at the moment that her breathing isn’t so erratic.
I ignore the inquisitive eyes peeking at me over the sheet above Remi’s knees or the ones coming from Jenny and walk over to the sink to wash my hands.