I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear and sit back against the arm of the couch with my knee tucked under me. Jenny and Jamie came by earlier to keep me company while Trouble went on an emergency house call. I think it’s wonderful that he cares enough about his patients that he’s willing to visit them at their home when they’re too sick to venture to the office. It reminds me of how things must have been back a hundred years ago, when life was simple and people helped each other without owing a favor in return. The whole town reminds me of that time.
When Trouble told me that he and his brothers would protect me, and that Malus was the safest place for Elijah and me, there was something in his eyes that made me believe him. Given that his brothers didn’t give me a warm welcome the first time I met them, I’m not sure why I believed him, but I did.
“What are you doing next weekend?” Jamie asks, snapping me back to the moment.
“Umm… I’m not sure really. Why?”
“Judge is taking the four of us to town to go shopping and we’re hitting the spa. We want you with us.” She smiles crookedly. “I’ve already asked Susan if she could watch Elijah, and she said yes.”
I rub my hands down my thighs, not altogether against going, but not sure if I should. Jenny and Jamie have become friends, but I’ve only been around Layla and Gillian a couple of times. “I don’t know. I’m not sure if I want to leave Elijah for that long.”
And that’s true. With the threat of Phillip looming, any time I think about leaving my son, I break out into hives. Even now, my chest starts to itch.
Jamie reaches over and grabs my hand. “Come on, Remi. You need a break.”
“Yeah,” Jenny puts in from her place on the floor where Elijah is busy kicking out his legs and arms during one of his rarely wide-awake periods. Since the moment she walked in the door, she’s been by his side. “It’ll be fun.”
I chew my thumb nail and think about their offer. It would be nice to get away for a few hours. I’ve enjoyed my time in Malus and can see why others like living here—it’s peaceful and quiet—but it would still feel good to see civilization again.
Jamie’s grip on my hand turns firm, and I bring my eyes back to her. “And JW and Emo will be here, so there’s no need to worry about anything happening.”
Her eyes narrow and her lips form a straight line. Her and Jenny know about Phillip. So do Trouble’s brothers. Without giving me details, because he explained they weren’t his stories to tell, he said Jamie and Jenny were also hurt by a man. He felt I might need someone to talk to, so he suggested I confide in them. Hate swirls in Jamie’s eyes whenever the subject is brought up.
“Let me think about it?”
Her hand leaves mine and she grins. “Good enough for me.”
I let out a sigh of relief, glad she’s not pushing me for a definitive answer.
“You know—” I glance over to Jenny. She’s side eying me as she has Elijah’s feet in her hand and rowing them like he’s riding a bicycle. “You can always move here.”
My eyes go round and my breath gets stuck in my throat. I’m speechless. I have no words to form a response. My mind goes haywire with th
ought after thought, but one keeps circling around. A crazy one. A stupid one. One that makes my insides turn to mush.
What if I did move here?
I’ve got nothing that’s tying me to a certain place. My brother’s in Colorado, and I miss him like crazy, but he has a life there that doesn’t include me. And I can always go visit him whenever I wanted. Lynn’s in Magnolia, but there’s not a shot in hell I’ll be going back there. I miss her like crazy too, but she can always come visit me.
I almost laugh when I think about Trouble’s reaction to another visitor coming to Malus. My mirth dies when I wonder if Trouble will be okay if I stayed. Would I be welcome? Does he still want me gone? If I stayed, would he want to explore this thing between us? Would I want to?
That last thought pulls me up short, because I know my answer immediately.
Yes.
I want to know more about Trouble. I want to know everything there is to know. I want to see if what I’m starting to feel for him is real. I want to know what it feels like to have him hold me. To kiss him again and not have to stop because my body wasn’t ready. I want to lay with him and have him touch me. To discover if he’ll be gentle or if passion would get away from us and make it hurried.
My breath hitches, and I have to shake my head to push away my thoughts before they get the best of me.
I swing my eyes to Jamie to see her watching me thoughtfully. She’s smart and intuitive, so she knows where my thoughts are going.
“The beginning of my senior year in high school, there was a new boy who came to town. He was cute, a senior like me, was instantly popular, and the quarterback of the football team. I crushed on him hard the minute I saw him, and I thought I was so special because he gave his attention to me.”
My brows drop in bewilderment, wondering why she’s telling me this. Her eyes slide to the side, as if reliving a memory, as she continues talking.
“I was a cheerleader and popular as well. I could have had any boy I wanted, but I was one of the few girls left who wanted to save herself for just the right boy. I thought Maddox was that boy. He was so sweet and attentive, never pushing for more than I was willing to give. He bought me gifts, sent me good morning messages that I woke up too, held my hand during dates, and opened doors. He was the perfect gentleman.”
Her lips twist when she swings her gaze back to me. Sadness leaks from the beautiful bronze in her eyes.