Her expression softens. “I know, and I understand. I don’t blame you, because I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same in your shoes. It must have been so hard for you knowing where your brother was but not being able to see him.”
She slides to the edge of the seat and gets to her feet. She takes a couple steps toward me, and I unconsciously stiffen. I don’t mean to; it’s habit. Something sharp stabs at my chest when I see the hurt in her eyes.
I push my hands between my legs and let the pressure of my knees press my nails into the backs of my hands. “I’m sorry.” I shake my head.
She settles back on the couch, offering a half smile. “It’s okay. I should have remembered.”
When Layla and I were making plans for me to come to Malus, I told her of my aversion to people getting too close. I didn’t want to have an episode in front of her when we met. She asked why, and I told her it was a phobia of mine that I developed as a child. I outright lied, saying there wasn’t anything that happened to cause it. It was just something that developed on its own.
“No matter the reason, I’m glad you’re here.” Her smile turns bigger, and she tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. “And I can’t wait to get to know the real you.”
“Me too.” I give her my own smile, even though I’m worried she may not be impressed with the real me.
There’s a knock at the front door, and I glance toward the hall. After Trouble passes by the doorway to answer it, my eyes lock on Aziah. He’s sitting on the bottom step of the stairs in the hallway, his worried stare on me. Once again, he hasn’t let me out of his sight. I give him a smile to let him know I’m okay, and some of the tension leaves his shoulders.
Trouble walking into the room blocks my view, but it’s the person who comes in behind him who has my attention now. She’s just as small as I remember. Her hair is full-on gray, and her face has more wrinkles. Even though she’s aged, she still doesn’t look as old as she is. She looks the same, but also different.
My heart squeezes painfully, and I suck in a breath to try and quell it. It doesn’t work.
My whole body shakes when I get to my feet. I try my best to offer a smile at the woman who helped me, Trouble, and the others when we were kids, but I know it’s wobbly.
Her small hand lifts to her mouth, and tears travel down her wrinkled cheeks. Trouble’s at her side, and she grips his arm like her knees are just as weak as mine.
“Oh, Daisy.” Her voice breaks.
I’ve always hated the name Daisy, for the same reason Trouble, Emo, JW, and Judge hated their given names, but hearing Mae whisper it after so long is oddly calming. It wouldn’t matter what name she calls me, so long as I hear her familiar voice. I’ve missed her just as much as I missed everyone else. It feels so good to be looking at her again.
My legs tense and my instincts tell me to rush over to her. To let her put her arms around me. My heart aches with the need, but my stupid mind won’t allow it.
This woman was my mother in every way that counted when I was a kid. She tended to me when I was hurt, she provided me with comfort, and she cried with me during some of the darkest times of my life. She and Dale were our strength when we needed it. I loved them both with my whole heart.
I stand there with Mae and my brother in the room with me. Aziah is just outside, still sitting on the staircase. But I feel alone. I’m here, but I’m not fully here.
Mae’s eyes flicker back and forth between mine, then move over the rest of my face. She stays on her side of the room, and I know Trouble must have told her about my aversion to closeness.
“My beautiful, sweet girl,” she says low, a tear trickling down her cheek. “I can’t believe you’re really here.”
“I missed you,” I whisper softly. “Why don’t we take a seat
, and we’ll talk.”
The angry look that crosses her face would scare even the strongest of men. “I know what happened.”
“I told her so you wouldn’t have to repeat it again,” Trouble says, his voice holding a dangerous edge.
I’m grateful he told her. I’ve been away from Marco and Gabriella for ten years, but it’s still hard to talk about my time with them. Thinking about it still sends fear racing through me.
“I wish Sandra and Donald were still alive so I could kill them myself.”
Mae’s words shock me. She’s always been sweet and docile, but if the situation allowed it, she was fiercely protective. I never imagined her having a murderous bone in her body though. Not that I believe she wouldn’t have done whatever necessary back then to protect us kids, but I can’t see her killing anyone.
I lift my eyes to Trouble. “Mom and Dad are dead?”
I don’t ask because the thought makes me sad. On the contrary, it actually eases some of my fear. I have no lost love for the people who created me and Trouble. They can rot in hell for all I care.
“Yes.” He lowers his voice. “Things have happened that I’ll tell you about later. For now, there’s something else you need to know.”
Trouble and Mae share a look that makes me nervous. I give a subtle nod and go to the couch. Mae hesitates, like she wants to sit beside me. I can feel her heartache deep in my core. My own torment intensifies. I will get over this irrational fear if it’s the last thing I do.