Whispered Prayers of a Girl

His looks away from me and faces Kelsey, who currently has her head down.

“Hey, Kelsey,” he rumbles.

She lifts her head and doesn’t hide her hurt. I look back at Alexander and find his face a mask of pain.

Instead of acknowledging his greeting, she moves past him. We both watch as she slides the emergency key from underneath the rug, unlocks the door, walks inside, and closes it behind us. He faces me once she disappears.

“I’m sorry,” I tell him, because even if she felt it was warranted, she was still very rude just now. “She’s not been having good days lately.”

He nods. Guilt and shame flash in his eyes, and he looks to the side. Daniel’s still standing between us, looking from one person to the other. I’m just about to tell him to go inside and give Alexander and me a minute to talk, but Alexander talks before I get a chance.

He holds out his hand, my earrings in his palm. “You forgot these the other day.”

I look down at them and wonder if that’s the only reason he came by today or if it was something more. It’s something I hope with all my heart, but am scared to wish for. He could have simply messaged me for my address and slipped them in the mail. He didn’t have to come all the way here.

Could it be possible that he’s missed us as much as we’ve missed him?

I hold out my hand and he drops them in my palm. I wrap my fingers around them, and though the metal is thin, they’re still warm from being in his hand.

“Would you like to come in for a few minutes? I could make you a glass of tea.”

I hold my breath, silently hoping he’ll accept. He looks down at Daniel and sees the hopeful face staring back at him. His brows draw down into a frown before he lifts his eyes back up to me.

“Sure,” he says, and it makes my heart soar.

I know I should forget about the idea of something more happening between us, but for some reason I just can’t. It feels natural to be in his company, like it’s where I’m supposed to be. As if something keeps forcing us together.

Daniel squeals in delight and rushes up the steps to open the door. He gushes nonstop about what’s happened the last couple of weeks. Alexander listens with a smile playing on his face. It’s nice to see his smile again. Kelsey is nowhere to be seen as we walk into the kitchen. I tell Daniel to let Pepper out in the fenced-in backyard while I grab glasses for tea, fill them, and hand one over to Alexander. I give Daniel a juice box when he comes rushing back inside. He rips the plastic from the straw, pokes it through the hole, then closed his mouth around it to take a drink.

Alexander chuckles at the way Daniel quickly sucks the juice through the straw, pulling his cheeks in dramatically. I laugh too because I’m happy. Happy that Alexander is standing in my house enjoying the entertainment of my son.

“Thank you for bringing the earrings back. I can’t believe I forgot them again.” I take a sip of my drink and set the glass on the counter before turning to Daniel. “Hey, you, aren’t you supposed to be doing something?” I ask pointedly.

Disappointment has his face losing some of its merriment. He nods, looks at Alexand

er with bereaved eyes, then slinks off toward his room. Right as he gets to the doorway, he spins back around and rushes back to us. He stops at Alexander’s feet with a look of hope.

“We’re going to Blu’s later,” he says jubilantly. “Can you come?” He holds his hands up in prayer style, and I can’t help but laugh, but I sober quickly when I realize he’s put Alexander on the spot.

I dare a look at Alexander and find him looking down at Daniel. There’s a wrinkle between his brows as he thinks on how to answer. I wish I knew what he was thinking right now. Is he trying to find a way to let Daniel down easy? Or is he fighting with himself because he wants to go but feels he shouldn’t? I know he thinks he not good enough for us, that he feels his scars, physical and emotional, make him less of a man. I know he holds immense guilt for not saving his wife and baby, and that makes him feel like he’s not worthy. That it scares him because he worries should anything happen to the kids or me, he wouldn’t be able to help us either.

I understand his fears, but it’s utter crap. Alexander is one of the strongest men I know, one of the most caring and generous and kindhearted. I just wished he knew it too, or at least would give me the opportunity to make him believe it.

I watch as he fights with what to tell Daniel, and I decide to let him off the hook.

Walking over to Daniel, I place my hand on his shoulder. “Daniel, sweetie, I don’t think—”

“Yes,” Alexander interrupts me, and I look up at him in surprise. “I’d love to go.”

After smiling down at Daniel, who runs off with a shouted “Yes,” he lifts his eyes to mine. His jaw is hard, but determined.

“You don’t have to,” I tell him, not wanting to force him into doing something he won’t feel comfortable doing. “I can talk to Daniel and make him understand.”

“I want to.” He takes a step closer. “If it’s okay with you, I’d like to have dinner with you and the kids.”

My heart leaps in my chest, because I want him to have dinner with us too. Even more, I want him to want to have dinner with us.

I can’t help the big smile that takes over my face. “We’d really like that, too.”