I’m just about to make my presence known, when Kelsey opens her mouth and completely destroys me by whispering, “I’m sorry you lost your baby and wife.”
My heart freezes in my chest, and I struggle to pull air in my lungs. Tears force their way from my eyes, and I throw my hand over my mouth to keep in the sob.
My daughter just spoke.
I can’t believe it. My daughter actually just spoke. It doesn’t even matter that her first words weren’t for me. I’m just so elated that I got to hear them, and they weren’t the tortured words to God to bring her father back home.
I close my eyes and tip my head back, replaying the sound of her voice over and over in my head. I want to rush in and beg her to say something else.
When I open my eyes again, I just barely get a side view of Alexander’s face. He’s gone quiet, and I know he’s shocked as well.
He pulls himself together a lot faster than I have and says, “Thank you.”
Sending my heart soaring even higher, Kelsey speaks again. “How old was your little girl?”
It takes Alexander a minute to answer as he tries to rein in his emotions.
“Seven weeks.”
Kelsey sucks in a breath and heaves it out on a whoosh. “I bet she was so pretty,” she says softly.
“She was gorgeous,” Alexander remarks.
“What were their names?”
His voice is pained when he answers. “Clara was my wife and Rayne my little girl.”
“Rayne,” she breathes. “So pretty.”
Kelsey gets up and comes to sit beside Alexander, then leans her head against his arm. It only takes him a split second before he puts his arm around her shoulders and she then lays her head against his chest. The action brings even more tears to my eyes. They look like what a father and daughter would look like when consoling his baby girl.
Kelsey’s next words cause my heart to slam in my chest painfully.
“Please don’t tell my mom I’m talking,” she says, lifting her head and pleading with her eyes.
“Why?” He tucks a piece of hair behind her ear.
She drops her eyes to the floor and murmurs so low I barely hear her.
“Because it’s my fault my daddy died.”
Alexander and I both jerk. I grip the doorjamb to keep myself from falling. I’ve always known she blames herself, but to hear her actually say it, hurts so much worse.
I watch as Alexander turns to Kelsey and grabs her chin to force her to look at him.
“Why would you think it’s your fault, Kelsey?”
Her voice is a tearful whisper, and I have to lean closer to hear her. “Because I made him go get my bear and that’s when he died.”
“Sweetie, it wasn’t your fault,” Alexander says, his voice strained. “You were six years old. There was no way you could know t
hat would happen. Even your mom and dad didn’t know it would happen.”
She looks at him with tears flooding down her face, and my heart feels like it’s being beaten with a bat coated in spikes.
“But maybe if I hadn’t—”
He doesn’t let her finish. “No, honey. It still would have happened.”