He looks down, then tucks a piece of hair behind my ear, letting his finger linger on my cheek.
“She would have liked you,” he says warmly.
“I’m sure I would have liked her too,” I tell him honestly.
As much as it pains me to think I wouldn’t have Alexander in my life if Clara and Rayne were still here, it hurts even more knowing the pain he went through when he lost them. I’d rather give up my own happiness to ensure he still had his. I just hope one day he gives me the chance to make him as happy as Clara did.
I kiss the center of his chest before flipping over and resting my arm across his stomach and laying my head on it. His arm hangs over my waist and he rests his hand against the base of my spine.
“I’m sorry for scaring you earlier,” I say while running my fingers over the smooth scars on his chest. As gruesome as they may appear to some, I think they’re beautiful. It shows his strength and the story of his heartbreaking past.
“What was so important that you would drive in such bad weather?"
He stares down at me, and I can tell he’s still bothered. It warms my insides to know he cares enough that he worried about me. But then, I hate that he went through that reminded pain.
“I wanted to see you.” I shift so I’m sitting up more, taking the sheet with me. “After talking with you on the phone for so long, I just felt a strong need to see you.”
I drop my eyes, suddenly feeling exposed. Not physically, but mentally.
He grabs my chin and forces my eyes back to his.
“I know I overreacted, but the thought….” He closes his eyes for a moment, looking pained, before opening them again. “I can’t do it again, Gwen,” he finishes in an agonized whisper.
I scoot closer to him. I know what he’s thinking, and I want to wipe the thought from his mind.
“Nothing will happen to me.”
“There’s no way you can promi
se that,” he argues.
Cupping his damaged cheek, I lean up and kiss his lips. “I can’t, but I can guarantee that I’ll be as careful as I can, and I know you’ll protect me as best as you can.”
His eyes turn tortured as he takes in my words. I can tell he wants to believe me, but past experiences and his guilt over not saving his wife and baby prevent him from doing so. I hold his gaze, wanting him to see the truth. His eyes stay guarded, and it makes me even more determined to show him he’s a good and honorable man, and that what happened was in no way his fault.
As much as I don’t want to, I need to get back to the kids.
I kiss his lips once more before pulling back. “I have to go get the kids. They’re at Jeremy’s and his mom’s having lunch. I’m sure they’re probably wondering where I am.”
He lifts his arm from my waist, and I slide to the edge of the bed. I feel the heat of him following me. I try to take the sheet with me because somehow my underwear ended up on the other side of the room, and I’m not yet at the stage of shamelessly traipsing across the room naked. When I stand and tug on the sheet, it doesn’t move. I turn and look at what’s stopping it, and see a grinning Alexander with the sheet gripped in his fist.
I arch an eyebrow. “You gonna let go anytime soon?”
His grin grows. “I’ll think I’ll keep ahold of it for a while.”
“Alexander,” I beg.
“Nah-uh.” He shakes his head, then tips his chin toward where my panties are on the floor. “You gonna get dressed?”
I narrow my eyes and hold his stare for several seconds before an idea pops in my head. Two can play this game. Turning on my heel, I make sure to sashay my hips as I walk over to my panties. With my cheeks pink, and with more boldness than I thought I was capable of, I bend with my ass facing him and scoop up my panties from the floor.
Hearing a groan behind me, I turn back to face him with my own smirk.
“Fuck me,” he mutters. “That shit backfired.”
I laugh and slip my legs through the holes and pull them up my hips. I still feel self-conscious as I walk over to my bra by the end of the bed, especially since my breasts aren’t as firm as they used to be. His appreciative gaze says I have nothing to worry about.
He climbs from the bed, and my eyes move to the hardness swaying between his legs. Earlier, when he first pulled off his jeans and briefs, my concentration was stuck on the scars running up and down his leg, so even though it was pretty much in my face, I didn’t get a good look at his erection. And afterwards, he was covered by the sheet. Now though, I can’t take my eyes off it. He’s huge, so huge that it’s a wonder it fit inside me without ripping me in two.