“Goddamn it, Emo,” Trouble says, stepping toward him. “Look at you. You’re fuckin’ butchering yourself.”
Blazing eyes flip to Trouble. “Doesn’t matter. Other than the four of us, no one is watching those tapes.” He bares his teeth. “Not one Goddamn minute, you hear me?”
“What tapes are you on?”
“Just leave it, Judge.”
“Emo, what tapes are you on?” Trouble repeats the question thickly.
His eyes turn darker, the pupils nonexistent. “I said leave it.” The snarled words curl his lips.
Trouble steps closer until he’s in Emo’s face. “Tell me what fuckin’ tapes you’re on.”
Emo’s jaw clenches and fire burns in his eyes now. A rage so potent, it’s a wonder he doesn’t incinerate everything within a one-mile radius.
“Ours,” he growls, the words spitting from his lips. He looks at Judge and me before bringing desolate eyes back to Trouble. “All of ours.” Pain twists his face gruesomely. “Mine and Rella’s,” he finishes the last words on a tortured whisper.
Trouble’s head drops, and he takes a step back, his hand reaching back to grip his neck. My stomach bottoms out. We knew there was a good possibility that Emo would come across tapes that involved us. Watching children being tortured by people who are supposed to be family and friends is hard enough, but to see our younger selves, how weak we were, the utter helplessness, forcing those painful memories to the forefront of our minds, is something I’m not sure I can handle. For Emo to watch himself with Rella…. I’m surprised he’s not in worse condition.
“No more,” Trouble demands, his tone resolute. “You’re fucking done with those tapes. We know what’s on them. We don’t need them all transferred.”
“He’s right,” I insert. “There’s no need for you to continue. We know what happened during Hell Night. There’s no need to have those memories shoved in your face.”
Emo’s fists clench and unclench at his sides, blood appearing on the bandages. Had they not been covered with gauze, I imagine the key would be in his palm, cutting into his skin.
“No. I’ll tell you when I finish. You can have them then.”
“Jesus Christ, Emo,” Trouble barks through gritted teeth, his control slipping. “Why? Why do you need to finish them?”
“Because it’s the only way to see her,” Emo discloses, further wedging the knife slicing through each of us. For the first time in a long time, Emo drops his mask, and what he exposes is a pain so deep, so all-consuming and devastating, it nearly cracks my soul. “I need to do this,” he whispers raggedly. “Please, just let me have this. It’s the least that I owe her.”
“Emo.” Trouble shakes his head “You’ve got to stop this. It wasn’t your—”
“Let him be, Trouble,” Judge grunts decisively. He places his hand on Trouble’s shoulder, but his eyes are fixed on Emo. “Emo’s strong. He’ll stop when he needs to.”
Trouble wants to argue, it’s in the hard edge of his expression—hell, I want to argue as well—but Emo’s a grown man and can make his own choices.
Instead of voicing his assertion, he steps forward, his hand going to the back of Emo’s neck where he yanks him forward until their foreheads are almost touching.
“I’ll leave it for now,” he says in a low, rough tone. “But
swear to me right now that you’ll pull back before it destroys you. You may hold yourself accountable for what happened to Rella, but we don’t. You’re our brother and it fucking kills us knowing you’re suffering for something you had no control over.” He squeezes his neck. “Swear to me, Emo.”
After a moment, Emo gives him a clipped nod. Before letting him go, Trouble pulls him into a tight hug. A few hushed words are murmured between the two that Judge and I can’t hear before they pull apart.
“Where’s Mae?” Emo asks, looking around the yard
“At The Hill. Doris came down with a migraine, so she’s covering for her.”
I glance around, looking for Eden, then frown when my search comes up empty. She should have been back with the potato salad by now. Worry slams in my chest.
“I’ll be back. I’m going to check on Eden.”
I stalk across the yard, up the porch steps, and through the back door. Walking down the hallway, I hear her voice before I find her in the bathroom.
“I’m okay, I swear.” She pauses. “I trust him, Mills. I know he won’t let anything happen to me.”
Pride swells in my chest at her admission. In such a short time, Eden’s come to mean more to me than an innocent person to protect. The connection I feel toward her grows with each day that passes. As crazy as it sounds, I’d give my life to ensure Diego doesn’t get his hands on her again.