And then I’ll follow him and see with my own eyes before I let the reality of what’s happening hit me and tear my life apart.
So I head back to my sister’s and grab my son, telling her I’ll explain later while avoiding her eyes. She doesn’t question it but tells me she’ll be home if I need her.
Once Jaydon and I get to our house, I start dinner and attempt to fake as normal of a night as I can even though I’m practically hyperventilating with every breath I take. When I hear the garage door open, my heart that’s already hollowed out cracks at the edges, but I squeeze my eyes shut and take a few deep, ragged breaths, bringing myself back to reality and sticking with my plan.
“Hey, Butterfly.” Jay’s smooth voice hits me the same time his arm winds around my waist, his lips hit my neck, and he holds out a bag from the coffee shop in front of me. “Drove by today and got you a couple of brownies.”
“Thanks.”
He drops the bag on the counter and spins me around, his dark blue eyes scrutinizing my face. One brow raises and he dips his head. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Livvie.”
“Nothing, I’m fine. A little tired, but I’m good.”
He doesn’t release his gaze until Jaydon throws his empty cup on the floor. “We’ll talk later.” Jay bends in, kisses my forehead, then my lips, then walks across the kitchen to greet his son.
I turn back to the stove on wobbly knees, release an uneven breath, and finish making dinner. We all eat together like normal, but even Jaydon can sense the tension because he’s fussy and uncooperative the entire time. Jay gives his son a bath before he puts him to bed while I clean up the kitchen. And as I’m wiping down the counter top, my eyes blur, realizing that was the last time the three of us would eat around a table together.
>
All I have are suspicions and the conversation I overheard, but when I follow him in the morning to the hotel he’s meeting that woman at and discover he’s cheating on me, I refuse to turn a blind eye to it. I won’t tolerate my husband being unfaithful and I definitely will not allow my son to think it’s okay to treat his wife that way.
But I have to have proof. So until I do, I’m going to do everything I can to try enjoy tonight and to get him to change his mind while I’m at it.
“What happened?” I jump at Jay’s voice, and thank God he can’t see my face right now.
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit, Livvie. Talk to me. What’s wrong?”
I shake my head, not ready to let him go. No matter that he’s cheating on me, he’s still mine for one more night. “Let’s go watch TV.”
When I go to brush past him, he grabs my arm and pulls me against him, his strength unwavering. “Whatever is wrong, love, talk to me so I can fix it.”
I channel the me I was the three years we were apart and fake it. I look up at him and put on the best performance I have my entire life. “Nothing’s wrong, Jay.” I wrap my arms around his neck and tilt my head back to look at his handsome face. “Forget TV, let’s go to bed.”
His eyes drop to my mouth, and when I sink my teeth into my bottom lip, the pulse in his neck pounds, and he nods. “Go get naked. I’m gonna lock up, and then I’ll meet you in bed.”
I rush to our room, but I don’t get naked. I just take my shirt and jeans off, then sit in the middle of our king size bed, waiting with nervous anticipation. He comes in a few minutes later, and closes and locks the door behind him. “Thought I told you to be naked.” He stalks toward me, and I know he’s gonna try to take control, like he always does, but I don’t want that.
I want to give it to him like I know he likes it, thinking maybe it’ll persuade him into changing his mind and he won’t go tomorrow morning. Maybe I can stop it before he goes through with it, if he hasn’t already.
He lunges at me, and I let him take me to my back, but then I put a foot in the mattress and use all my might to flip us over so I straddle him, making my intentions clear. “Livvie,” he growls my name and hardens instantly beneath me.
I bend my neck and slant my head, lowering my mouth to his. His rough hands feel amazing as they trail up and down my back, dipping into the top of my panty line and then teasing the skin below my breasts. The words I heard earlier today play over and over in my head, and I pull away from him to look into his eyes and make sure he’s here with me.
“What?” he whispers.
“Nothing. I just love you.” I don’t want to lose you. I can’t lose you. I can’t live without you.
He frames my face and pulls me down so our tongues tangle once more, but he doesn’t say he loves me back. Oh, God. I was worried deep down that this would happen. After everything we went through, once we finally had our happily ever after, after he risked everything and saved me, he’d feel that his obligation was fulfilled and get bored with me. Jay’s a man who thrives off a challenge, and there isn’t one with me anymore.
Our life is boring. Work, home, kid, repeat.
I know I haven’t lost all the baby weight yet even though I’ve had the time and have no excuse, so maybe that’s part of it. Losing him would kill me. It already broke me once, but if I lost him for good, I honestly don’t know how I’d survive.