Take Me To Bed: Bedtime Quickies Collection

Picking up our bags, I head straight to my brand-new Winnebago Revel. I bought it a couple of months ago for times like this. When we can’t go to the airport but need to get away, this is the van and it’s fucking amazing.

“What the hell is that?” Eve’s voice makes me smile as I come back to the now and turn around. She’s standing with her damn boat anchor slash backbreaker bag, wearing a beige dress that clings to every curve she has. Her legs are on display with high-heeled sandals that have straps crisscrossing all the way up her ankles. The whole outfit is absurd considering where I’m taking her. I figure it’s best if I don’t engage and just state the facts.

“It’s our new van. Let’s go, Angel.” Opening the door, I motion for her to get her skinny ass inside.

She stands and stares, her beautiful face full of disgust as her giant bag drops with a thud.

“That’s not a van. That’s a trailer. You know I hate trailers.”

“Trust me, vans have come a long way. And I would never buy a trailer.”

“You’re telling me that we’re taking this to the airport?” Her voice goes up an octave as she waves her hand around like this is the most disgusting thing she has ever seen.

“It’s a fucking Mercedes for fuck’s sake. Get in.”

Her eyes narrow on mine. “What’s going on?”

It’s just my luck that our pain-in-the-ass neighbor walks by with his dog, stupidly waving his goofy arms at Eve. She scowls one more time at me and turns with a fake smile.

“Hey Bobby.” She waves back.

“You guys off to go camping?” Bobby stops with his “football dog”—you know, one of those dogs that does nothing but growl and bark at you, making you want to punt them like a football even though of course you won’t?

Eve tosses her golden tresses over her shoulder. “No. We’re going to Hawaii.” She smooths her hands down her flat stomach.

“Really? Interesting ride to the airport,” Bobby the nosy dick snickers as his dog starts barking in a loud, annoying tone.

I take a breath. Punching Bobby would only prolong getting the fuck out of Dodge. Instead I say, “Good seeing you, man. We’ll be back soon.” I place my hand on Eve’s back. She looks up at me with a confused frown.

“Okay, well, you two have fun. Have no fear. I’ll personally watch the house while you’re gone. Do you need me to get the mail?”

Again, I take a breath because what the hell? It’s not like we’re close with him. I try not to get too close to anyone who isn’t family. And by family, I mean my club, the Disciples.

“You know what they say.” He tries to look cool as his dog runs around like a lunatic wrapping the leash around his ankle. “The first thing criminals look for is mail piling up…” Bobby clears his throat and looks down at his tied-up ankles. It’s obvious the dumb fuck just realized he’s talking to one of the most dangerous men on the West Coast. I may live in a fantastic neighborhood, but I’m far from law-abiding and good.

“Okay, well… have a good time.” He nods, almost tripping on the leash to get away from us.

“Bye.” Eve smiles and turns her big eyes on me.

“What? I was nice. He’s lucky I didn’t pull my blade on him for being a nosy prick.”

“Jason.” She sighs as if I should know all this. “I’m trying to make us normal here,” she hisses as she swishes past me and steps into the van. I cross my arms and watch the play of emotions on my wife’s face. New-car smell turns Eve on. Her eyes sweep the posh setup, and I motion toward the back. “It has a toilet and shower.”

“Mm-hmm.” She looks over at a mounted TV in the corner.

“Well?” I demand.

“It’s fine to get us to the airport.” She plops into the front seat crossing her legs and putting on her giant black sunglasses.

We’ve been driving in silence which is fine since my mind has eighty things bouncing around. I’m fucking wired. I hate giving up control. I trust my brothers to get the job done. That doesn’t mean I’m happy about it.

Eve is busy typing away on her phone, completely ignoring me. With her legs crossed, she swings one back and forth as if she’s going to have tea with the Queen. If shit wasn’t going down in the club, we would be going to Hawaii. I did arrange to have my cousin David and his wife Charlie watch my kids so that Eve and I could spend some time alone.

Reaching into my pocket, I pull out my phone and let the Bluetooth take over. I’m sick of Eve and her silent treatment. I should have fucked her in the bathroom, released some poisons, cleared my mind enough to think.

“Anything you want to listen to?”

At last, she glances up, a frown still on her face. “Nope, you choose. You’re going to decide everything anyway.” She recrosses her legs and goes back to her phone.