“Maybe you should try opening up. Not everyone is going to judge you based on your sexual needs. Give him a chance. You’ll regret it later if you don’t. And if he turns out to be an asshole, then I’ll kick his ass.” He smirks, making a strangled giggle escape my lips.
My head falls forward and lands on his chest. His arms go around my shoulders, and I wrap mine around his waist. I want to believe him so much, but I’ve been put down and looked at with revulsion so much in my life, that it’s hard to believe anything different.
I lift my head and stare up at Nathan. “I love you.”
He smiles and leans down to place his lips gently across mine. It’s not sexual, just an innocent kiss between friends. It’s how we’ve always been. Out of all four of us, me and Nathan are the closest.
“Love you too, Abs. Now,” He slaps my ass and pulls back, “go take a shower. You reek of hot, sweaty sex.”
I laugh and slap his stomach.
“Thank you for rescuing me tonight, Nathan.”
“You know I’m here whenever you need me. For anything.”
I smile, lean up and kiss his cheek, then turn to unlock my door. Nathan stays on the other side until he hears the click of the lock. I slump back against the hard wood and take in a deep breath.
Could it be that easy, telling Blue about my… problem? I want him more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. But what happens if he’s okay with my sexual appetite? It still wouldn’t work out between us. I can’t expect him to always be at my beck and call, and there will come a time that he won’t be around when I need him. I refuse to be the cheating girlfriend because she can’t get a handle on her sexual needs.
I fist my keys in my hand until the steel digs painfully into my palm.
It’s hopeless. It doesn’t matter if he accepts me for me.
I walk to my bedroom and straight for my shower. Nathan was right; I do smell like sex. I want to keep the smell on me forever, because I know part of that smell is Blue.
Suddenly feeling sadder than I was before, I strip down and step inside the steaming hot spray. I roughly wipe away the tears that mingle with the water now cleaning away the smell of the one man that has the potential to change my life. If only I had the courage to take that step.
The next afternoon, I’m nursing a much-needed cup of hot tea, while waiting on Ava to join me for dinner. It’s six o’clock, and I’m glad as fuck the work day is finally over. My head has been killing me, thanks to the restless night of sleep I got. My thoughts and dreams kept turning to Blue, no matter how hard I tried thinking of something else. I thought I had to worry about a hangover in the morning from the whiskey last night, but nope. My hangover has nothing to do with alcohol, and everything to do with a man with a pair of striking blue eyes, and a body seemingly made just for me.
A jingle sounds, and I look up to see Ava walk through the door. Her eyes immediately go to me in our usual spot, before making her way over. Her purse drops on the bench seat, before her ass lands next to it.
“I am so damn glad the day is almost over,” she gripes, dragging her mound of hair back and fastening a band around it.
“I was just thinking the same thing,” I mutter.
“What happened with you today?”
Not wanting to get into my problems, I deflect it back to her. “We’ll talk about me later. What’s up with you?”
Rolling her eyes, she emits a low growl in her throat. “My fucking boss is being a dick again. I was in the supply room and felt something touch my ass. I turned and confronted him, but he denied it. I know the fat nasty bastard did it.”
“Have you talked to human resources?”
“Nope. I have no proof he’s harassing me. Besides, he’s the owner of the company. What the hell are they going to do? You know how those high-powered pricks are. They could get away with murder without a slap on the wrist.”
I take a sip of my tea, praying the Tylenol I took a few minutes ago starts working soon. “What are you going to do?”
“Not a fucking clue. Break his fingers the next time he touches me?” She forms it as question, like she’s asking for my permission to do bodily harm to her boss. She doesn’t wait for my answer, which would have been a hell yes. I hate guys that think it’s okay to touch women if they haven’t asked for it. “If I didn’t need this job so badly, I’d tell him to shove it up his ass, then start a nasty rumor around the office about him having crabs or something, before walking out.”
I laugh, because that’s exactly something Ava would do.
Beatrice, our usual waitress, walks up just then for our orders.
Ava flips her coffee mug over and holds it up to Beatrice. “Fill this to the brim with tequila, and make it snappy, please.”
Beatrice, a grandmotherly looking woman in her late fifties, looks at Ava with sympathy. “You know we don’t carry that nasty stuff, Ava. How about I fill it up with warm tea and bring you a slice of the house pie instead?”
Ava wrinkles her nose and grumbles. “Fine. That’ll do.”