Always Wanting (Consumed)

I glance up at Tegan and his surefire tone.

“How do you know?” I ask, more than curious why he’s so confident. He doesn’t know Blue, except for the things I’ve told him.

“Because the man is complete gaga over you. There’s no way he won’t be here.”

I take in his words and hope they are true, because I’m not sure if I’m ready to let go of Blue. And I know I’ll be forced to if he’s not here in time. I doubt I’ll ever be ready to let him go. He’s superglued himself to my heart in such a short time, there’s no hope of him ever getting free.

We finish our dance and start another one. This one is faster, and I’m grateful when Tegan releases me to bust his moves. Before Blue came along, I didn’t mind dirty dancing with Nathan and Tegan. Now, it just doesn’t feel right. My body apparently belongs to Blue, and doesn’t like when others touch it now.

By the time we get back to the table, my drink is sitting there waiting on me. I take several swallows of the sweet, but harsh concoction, and sigh at the wetness sliding down my throat. Ava’s no longer at the table, probably out dancing with some random guy, but Nathan still is. He doesn’t dance much, preferring to watch the others. He doesn’t say anything to me, but I can still see the concerned look in his eyes. I ignore the look and glance down at my phone to check the time. I place it back on the table, face up, for when he calls to tell me he’s on his way. It’s been thirty minutes since I got here. Worry is making itself known in my stomach, mixing in with the cramps that are already there. I try my best to hide the worry from Nathan and Tegan, but I’m not sure if I manage it or not.

This is the first time I’ve felt uncomfortable in my friend’s presence, and I hate that I do now. I just feel like they’re judging me, especially Nathan. I’m grateful he cares enough to worry, but it’s not what I need right now. I need my friends to act normal and have a good time.

I turn in my seat, taking my drink with me, to scan the dance floor. I need to do something besides just sit here. My feet bounce on the rungs, becoming antsy. I should have heard from Blue by now. He said it was just a short thirty-minute plane ride.

As soon as I face the dance floor, Ava comes bouncing up, dragging a blond-haired guy along with her. I’ve already talked to her once today and told her happy birthday, but I still feel the need to say it again. I plaster on a smile, and hope she doesn’t bring the subject up of the still missing Blue.

“Happy Birthday, Ava.”

I get up from my chair and engulf her in a hug. She returns it, and I’m grateful when she pulls back and has a happy smile on her face, instead of the troubled one she had before.

“Thanks, babe.” She turns to the guy waiting beside her. “This is Gary. Gary, these are my friends, Abby, Tegan, and Nathan.” She points to each of us.

We all respond with waves and ‘Heys’ and they take a seat, Gary pulling over a chair from another table.

I open my purse and pull out a wrapped present and hand it over to Ava. Giving me a grin full of teeth, she tears into the package, then squeals like a school girl. Jumping up from her chair, she squeezes me tight in a hug.

“You are amazing!” she yells. Taking her seat, she begins to flip through the book. She told me the other day that she’s getting bored with the same old role-playing scenarios, and is having trouble coming up with new ideas. My gift is a book on a hundred different sexual role-play games.

We all laugh when she starts naming off a few, and it’s funny to watch the shock and awe on Gary’s face. He’s in for a very interesting time tonight with Ava.

Picking up my phone, I bring it underneath the table and send Blue a message.

Me: Where are you?

Checking to make sure both the volume and vibrate is on, I set it down on my lap to wait for his answer.

But it never comes. Another hour passes and he doesn’t respond. My worry escalates, and so does the pain gripping my stomach. My shakes are so bad that I’ve stopped picking up my drink for fear of giving myself away to the others. I can’t do anything about my flushed and sweaty face, though. I try to concentrate on the conversation around me, but it’s hard when you’re constantly trying to force the pain away. Every once

in a while, I’ll look over to Nathan, only to find him glaring at me. I scowl at him in return each time. The others seem to be too much into what’s going on around them to notice, and I thank God for that. Tegan is currently necking with a girl that’s sitting on his lap, while Ava and Gary are discussing some shit about whips and collars. Guess that means a dominate-submissive scenario is going to happen tonight. I wonder who will play which role.

I glance down at my phone for the hundredth time, bringing it to life to make sure it’s still working, but there’s no fucking missed calls or texts. I’ve texted him two other times, and even called him once from the ladies’ room, with no luck. What the fuck is going on? He promised me he would be there whenever I needed him, and I believed him. I know there has to be some reasonable explanation, but my pain-filled mind can’t come up with a single one. I just don’t understand why he hasn’t returned my messages.

A particularly hard cramp squeezes my stomach tight, and I can’t hide the wince of pain it causes me. I suck in a deep lungful of air and let it out slowly until the pain lessens fractionally. I feel a draft of cool air from the vents above when the air conditioner kicks on. My shirt is damp because of sweat, so I shiver in response to the cool air.

“That’s it,” a deep voice growls from across the table. I look over, just as Nathan gets up from his chair and stalks around it to my side. “I’m taking you home.”

“I’m fine,” I grit out from between clenched teeth.

“The fuck you are,” he says, grabbing my phone from my lap and stuffing it in my purse. “You’re drenched in sweat, and you’re shaking so bad I can practically feel the vibrations of it across the table. Let’s go, or I’m carrying you out.”

I narrow my eyes at him, but he just holds my look and gives it back to me. He’s right, I’m not doing okay, but he can stop with the high-handedness. It’s pissing me off, and I’m already irritated that Blue still hasn’t showed up, or at least called me.

“I’ll call a cab.” Although I’ve only had half a drink and am still well under the alcohol limit, I know there’s no way I can drive in the condition I’m in.

“No,” Nathan grunts before grabbing my hand and forcing me from my chair. I try to pull it back, but he’s relentless.

“Hey, jackass!” I yell. “Let go!”