Endless Obsession

His eyes flicker to mine. “No. She was my sister. She was a late baby and an accident. But she was well loved. We all doted on her because she truly was the baby of the family. Even younger than my niece, who also happened to be her best friend.” A smile touches his lips. “Her favorite color was purple. She loved collecting four leaf clovers. She thought they would bring her good luck.” His smile drops and sadness replaces it. “In the end, they didn’t work. Nothing did.”

That explains the tattoo. Tears pool in my eyes. Hearing him talking about it and the ache in his voice sends shards of pain to my stomach.

I place my palm against his cheek. “What happened?”

His throat bobs. “She was born with kidney problems. They had her on dialysis as a toddler. Eventually, one of her kidneys gave out, no longer working. They removed it with the hope that the remaining one would function properly enough for her to live a decent life. She was fine for a while, but then right after she turned eight, she started having problems again, except worse than before. A transplant was needed. I was seventeen, but was very adamant I give her one of mine. She was my sister and it hurt to see her in such pain every day. My parents were torn, but gave in. They didn’t want their daughter to die, but they also knew the risk of me giving up one of my kidneys. Many people live with only one kidney and have full and long lives. I don’t regret for one second giving Cara my kidney. I would do it again in a heartbeat. But in the end, the kidney I gave Cara was a kidney that I would eventually need myself.”

Tears pour out of my eyes at the devastation of what he just said. It’s an impossible situation where no matter what happened, someone would be hurt. Imagining a teenage Asher watching his sister slowly die, then being brave enough to offer a piece of himself to save her is more than my heart can handle. The pain he and his family must have gone through.

“After several months, her body rejected my kidney. She went back on the waiting list for another, but she was declining fast. She needed the transplant. Just when we lost all hope, a kidney became available, but there were complications during surgery. Her heart was too weak and gave out. They worked on her for an hour, trying to get her heart pumping, but they weren’t able to.”

“Oh, Asher,” I say tearfully, getting to my knees. I grab his hand and bring it to my chest. “I’m so sorry.”

My visions blurs with my tears. His arms wrap around me, bringing me closer to him. A new sense of fear slithers in when I realize the seriousness of Asher’s illness. His sister died from the same illness. Her body couldn’t handle the new kidney. What if his body can’t either? And her heart gave out. His blood pressure became too high during dialysis. What happens if he needs another kidney and his heart gives out? Terror has my blood freezing, and I feel suddenly cold.

Asher feels me stiffen. He rolls us so I’m on my back with him lying on top of me.

“Hey,” he says, his hands on my face, forcing me to look at him, but I don’t see him. I only see a future that doesn’t have Asher in it and it terrifies me. This isn’t about me, it’s about the pain Asher is still obviously going through with losing his sister. I should be focusing on him and it’s selfish that I’m not, but I can’t stop the uncontrollable agony racking my body right now. I feel like I can’t breathe. I try to draw in breath, but none will come. Why can’t I breathe?

“Hey,” he says more forcefully. His grip on my cheeks tighten and he gives me a slight shake. “Look at me,” he demands, his tone bringing me back to reality. I blink and focus on him. His eyes are filled with concern as he gazes down at me.

“Asher,” I cry. “I can’t…” I stop, shaking my head, not able to form the words.

“You won’t have to. I’m not going anywhere.” His voice is fierce as he looks down at me. “Cara’s health problems were different than mine. She was born with a defect. Mine developed over time. The doctors told me there’s no reason to believe I won’t live a normal and healthy life after the transplant. Every test I’ve had post-surgery have been great, better than even the doctors expected. I’m not ever leaving you.”

I sob and throw my arms around his neck and drag him down until his chest is against mine. I love this man more than life itself. I couldn’t take it if something happened to him.

“I’m sorry,” I say against his ear. “I’m so sorry about what happened to Cara. She shouldn’t have died.”

He pulls back and wipes away my tears.

“You’re right, she shouldn’t have, but she’s in a better place now, and I know she’s watching down on us all. I’m sure she has a huge collection of four leaf clovers just waiting to show everyone once we’re with her again.”

His beautiful words bring on more tears.

“I wish I could have met her.”

He dips down for a kiss. “I do too. You would have loved her. She was so sweet and funny. She wrapped anyone who met her around her finger.”

I smile at the love shining in his eyes. He rolls to his side and tucks me close, but I pull back from him and start to climb from the bed.

“Where you going?” he asks. I look back at him and laugh at the pout he’s wearing, glad the darkness in the room has lifted.

“Bathroom.” I giggle and get off the bed, wiggling my butt for show as I walk to the bathroom.

“Hurry back,” he growls, and it sends a tingle of awareness down my spine.

I hurry through my business, anxious to get back to him. The last couple days have been wonderful. My stomach rumbles as I wash my hands, reminding me we haven’t eaten dinner yet. I grab Asher’s shirt off the floor and slip it on. When I walk back into

the bedroom, Asher’s still in the same position he was in when I left, except he’s holding his phone, looking at something with a frown. The look disappears when he looks at me as I pass by the bed, his eyes turning heated.

“I’m going to grab the fruit tray out of the fridge,” I say, blowing him a kiss. He lifts his chin, indicating he heard me. I feel him watching me as I leave the room.

I smile as I walk down the dark hallway. I was stunned when he first brought me here. His apartment is massive, bigger than my house. I was quite impressed with Asher’s style in furnishings as well. I expected his apartment to be plain, without feeling. It’s actually the opposite. It’s very homey. He said his mom decorated it, but I think he added a lot of his touch to it too. What surprised and pleased me the most is all the pictures he has of his family. They hang from walls and sit on shelves. He even has a few placed on his coffee table. Had I not already known he was big into family, that would have clued me in.

I pass by a chocolate brown sofa with black pillows, then the coffee table that has a picture of him and his brother and sister, and a desk that holds a lamp and a few magazines. The dining room has a table that seats eight people, big enough for his family when they come to visit. I flip on the overhead light in the modern kitchen and walk over to the big side-by-side fridge. I set the small tray of fruit down on the counter, grab two bottles of water and set them down beside it before closing the fridge. My stomach rumbles again, so I take the lid off the tray and pop a grape into my mouth.

I’m just about to grab the tray and water when I feel a presence behind me. With a smile on my face, I turn to greet the man I love. Before I get the chance, I’m knocked into the counter by a hard body and a hand slams over my mouth. My eyes go wide in fright, and I scramble to pull the hand away. Hot breath tickles my ear when he yanks my head back by applying pressure on my mouth. My head lands on his shoulder. His other arm wraps tight around my stomach, right below my breasts.