I smile. “I tried to be there whenever you needed me.”
She looks down at her hand still in mine, then lifts her gaze again.
“Do I call you Mom now?”
My stomach flutters at the thought of hearing her call me Mom. That would truly be a dream come true.
“You call me whatever you feel comfortable with,” I tell her, squeezing her hand. “If you just want me as your sister or best friend, then that’s what I’ll be. If you want me as your mom, then I’ll be that. It’s what you want, Avery.”
“What about Mom… I mean… Grandma?”
“She feels the same way. If you don’t want anything to change, then it won’t, but know that we’ll all love you no matter what.”
Her mouth scrunches and her eyes look up and to the side as she thinks over my words. When her eyes come back to mine, some of the light that normally shines in them is back.
“Can I call you both Mom?”
I nod and give her a big smile. “If that’s what you want.”
She thinks it over for a moment, then nods. “I think it is.” She leans closer to me. “But it might take a little while to get used to it, so I might forget sometimes.”
I laugh and a huge weight lifts off my chest. I know she’s still confused and hurt, but knowing she doesn’t hate me makes me the happiest person in the world right now.
“Am I going to move in with you,” her eyes look beyond me, “and Nathan?”
I smile over my shoulder at him. It’s not official yet, but next week my lease for this apartment is up. He asked me to not renew it and move in with him. I’m practically already living there anyway, so I agreed. It feels right.
“That’s up to you as well. We would love to have you live with us, but only when and if you’re ready.”
She nods. “Okay. Let me think about it.”
“Okay.”
She gets up, and so do Nathan and I. She looks so little as she stands in front of me and fiddles with her shirt nervously. I hate that I made her uncertain and question everything she’s ever known.
I’m both surprised and elated when she launches herself into my arms. She’s warm, and when I rest my cheek on the top of her head, I breathe in and still smell the sweet innocence she’s carried since a baby. My throat tightens. Although I was always in the background, I missed so much.
“I love you… Mom,” she says haltingly, putting a stranglehold on my heart. I’ve waited years to hear her call me that, and now that she has, they are words I will cherish forever.
I squeeze my eyes shut, my arms tightening around her for a moment. “I love you too, Avery.”
When I open them again, I spot Nathan watching our exchange, his lips tilted up and a softness to his eyes I’ve never seen before. I smile back at him.
I pull away and cup Avery’s cheeks. “Do you want to stay like we planned or go back home?”
My parents are on standby at home if she chooses to cut our visit short.
“I wanna stay.” Her answer has my smile growing. “But can I go to my room for a little while?”
“Of course, sweetie.”
I lean down and kiss her forehead, then let her go. Before she leaves the room, she goes to Nathan and gives him a hug. As I watch my big muscular man wrap his arms around my beautiful daughter, tears once again spring to my eyes. I love these two people so much.
He murmurs something to her, and she nods before turning and leaving the room.
Once she’s gone, I let out a heavy breath. Now that Avery knows the truth, or as much of the truth as I’m willing to give her right now, I can finally breathe better than I have in years. I know it won’t be all sunshine and roses from here on out; we still have a lot to get through, but the hardest part is over.
Nathan steps up to me and pulls me into his arms. I go willingly, really needing his strength right now.