Unexpected

“Shit,” Asher mumbles under his breath. He stands and pulls his shirt over his head, lifting his undershirt in the process and exposing the hard lines of his stomach. For a moment, I’m stunned. The man truly is gorgeous. His fair skin pops against the contrast of his black skinny jeans. Hard lines exasperate the six-pack he’s worked hard to build the past few years. Every inch of him pulls me in, and those are just the parts of his body I can see.

Asher has always been attractive, drawing the eyes of anyone who dared to look. I’m looking. Really looking and wondering, When did he go from boyish cute to ‘make my heart race handsome’?

“Put this on,” he insists, tossing the white button-down at me.

I catch the fabric and hold it in my hands. I look to Liam for guidance because I’m more confused than a chameleon in a bag of Skittles. That was a mistake. Liam’s neck flushes red as he removes Corah’s arm again. She’s trying to comfort him, to soothe him back into the calm, collected king the school knows. It’s not working. He’s too far into the red zone to see clearly.

“Lainey is fine!” Liam yells.

I am not fine.

I’m embarrassed, and wet, and sticky, and on the edge of losing the composure I’ve fought all morning to hold. Even though Liam is looking at me in a way he never has before, he made it clear last night that we are just friends. I shouldn't have to worry about him getting pissed at me for having lunch with Asher. He eats at our table all the time. Why is today any different? And why does he care if I put on Asher’s shirt? Besides, if Liam hadn’t thrown the soda, I wouldn’t need something to cover up with!

I slip my arms through the holes and pull the button down over my head. Asher isn’t a big guy but his shirt swallows me, falling halfway down my thighs, covering my skirt. His lingering scent swirls through me, a mixture of laundry detergent and beach musk. I like it. I don’t want to, but I do.

The corner of Asher’s mouth lifts into a delicious smile that makes my heart flutter. I bite my bottom lip and look from one boy to the other. I don’t know what I’m feeling right now, let alone why. All I know is Liam has gone from looking like he wants to kill Asher to looking at me with disgust and a little bit of desire.

“Come on, babe. Let’s get out of here.” Asher rounds the table and puts his arm over my shoulders.

Liam grabs me by my elbow before we can take more than a step and spins me to face him. He is the only person to ever hold me the way Asher is and it has never been in public. Our moments were stolen in the dark, away from prying eyes.

“Lainey, what the hell is wrong with you? You hate Asher.”

I don’t hate Asher, but that doesn’t mean there is anything going on between the two of us either. I know I should say something to let Liam know that Asher and I are just friends, and that is a stretch, but I don’t want to feel like this anymore. Like my every breath hangs on Liam’s approval or that my heart beats for his sideways glances. Maggie was right all along; I deserve to be more than someone’s dirty little secret.

“Why does it matter? You and I are only friends. Remember?”

“I know that.” Liam huffs. “I don’t think Asher is good enough for you.”

“Lee Lee,” Corah coos. She steps in

front of him, silently demanding his attention, but Liam looks past her. To us. “Don’t be silly. You should be thrilled your two best friends are together. We can double date now!”

“Yeah.” Asher wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me out of Liam’s reach. “That sounds like fun. What are you two doing next Friday night?”

Liam’s eyes widen and then narrow on me. His reaction to double dating makes me feel like I’ve been gutted under the weight of his gaze. I hate it. I want the strength I had moments ago, when I shoved it in his face that he lost all say in what I do when he made us friends. I want to be the girl who lives freely without worrying about what a guy who never gave two shits about her, until now, thinks. Most importantly, I want Liam to realize that he’s an idiot for giving up on us and I think the way to do that is to make him jealous. That’s the only logical explanation for why he’s acting this way. He’s jealous.

Maybe that’s why I reach my hand up and cup the back of Asher’s neck.

Maybe I’m intrigued by the tiny flutter in my stomach from when Asher’s head dips.

And maybe, just maybe, I like the rush of adrenaline that shoots through me when Asher’s mouth presses against mine.

The kiss lasts a fraction of a second, but it’s long enough to set me on fire. Even without tongue, Asher’s lips make me weak at the knees. I don’t understand why he has this effect on me. I gave up on my pathetic excuse of a crush when he called me shark bait, but something inside me stirs to life. Something I’m not ready to acknowledge.

Asher pulls back and rests his chin on my shoulder. His heart beats wildly in his chest, and mine mimics the rhythm. Hard thumps. Fast thrums.

“Liam.” He smirks. “It’s been fun, but there are only five minutes left of lunch and I plan to use every minute of it. If you know what I mean.”

Asher takes my hand in his. He pulls me out of the cafeteria and we run down the hallway then duck into the empty art room. He closes the door behind us and that bubble in my chest pops. An invisible noose wraps around my neck, tightening with every strained breath. Breaths that, no matter how big, never fill my lungs. So I take another and another. Each one faster than the last, but there’s never enough air.

I kissed Asher.

I let Liam and everyone else in the cafeteria think I moved on with his best friend.

I. Ruined. Everything.

“Breathe, Ellie.” Asher rubs his hands down my arms. I look into his eyes, tears streaming down my cheeks.