Derek is.
Susan,
Ellie’s mom, blows on a party horn. The kind people have when they ring in the new year. Her other hand shoots into the air and draws my attention to a Welcome Home banner. This isn’t my home, but I appreciate the gesture. I doubt party stores make You’re Out of Jail decorations.
Derek stands, one hand in his pocket, the other holding a glass of what looks to be scotch or whiskey in the other. “Asher.”
“Come on, kid.” Mr. Walker walks in front of me, towards the display of food Susan has set out on the counter. “We have some things to discuss.”
I follow because I’m grateful for everything Mr. Walker has done for me, but inform them, “I have nothing to say to him.”
“Don’t be like that,” Derek states, hurt seeping into his tone.
“You can cut the act, Dad,” I reply, and he chuckles at the name. “Just because Mom died doesn’t mean you have to jump into the caring parent role. I’ve gone eighteen years without you. I don’t need you now.”
“Asher,” Susan says empathetically.
Derek holds up a hand, silencing her. Susan’s lips stretch into a tight smile and she nods. “I get it. I wasn’t there physically when it counted, but I did everything your mother asked me to. I even went to all of your football games.”
“Because Liam was there,” I interject.
Derek huffs through his nose, knowing I’m right. He can’t claim to have been at those games for my benefit. “I made sure you had a good education. I paid the child support every month.”
That makes my blood boil. Mom and I lived in poverty, both having to work to pay the bills. Even going as far as paying Clint his bullshit rent. I paid for the electricity and the water because Mom’s salary barely covered the rent. As for food, we had to fend for ourselves. “Bullshit. You never gave us a dime.”
Derek holds a manila folder out for me. I snatch it from his hands. The papers inside are gibberish. They look like bank statements, in an account with my name on it, but I don’t have a bank account. What’s even more confusing, the balance in the account is over a hundred thousand dollars. “What the fuck is this?”
“Your graduation present from your mother,” Derek says with a smile. “I gave Mary Anne five hundred dollars a month since the day you were born.”
“You what?” It’s hard to wrap my brain around this kind of money. Mom should have used it to fix up the house, not hide it in a secret bank account.
“Mary Anne had a bad feeling about Clint from day one. She was worried he’d find out about the money and piss it away.” Derek pauses to make sure I’m following. I am, but not at the same time. “We decided to make a joint account, one with my name on it and yours, so that Clint wouldn’t see the bank statements.”
“Asher.” Susan beams. “This means you can go to college and not have to worry about anything.”
I look from Derek to Susan, mouth slack, still processing. Derek chortles and claps his hand on my shoulder. “I wasn’t there like I should have been and I’m sorry, but that was what Rayna and Mary Anne agreed to.”
I shake free of his hold, pissed that he’s trying to pull the apologetic parent card. “How could you let Mom hide this kind of cash? We needed it!”
“No.” Derek’s tone hardens. “I told Mary Anne if she needed anything I was a phone call away. I may be married to Rayna, but I loved your mother. She chose to refuse my help, no matter how often I offered.”
“You’re lying! You never cared about Mom. If you did, you wouldn’t have abandoned her or me!”
“Asher,” Mr. Walker says, sternly. “I have the custody agreement if you want to see it. Derek’s involvement in your life was spelled out to the T. As long as you and Liam were under that age of eighteen, Derek could not reach out to you.”
“I don’t want your money.” I toss the file folder onto the counter.
“Want it or not, you need it. And me,” Derek insists. “I am the only family you have, son, and the reason you can still go to college this semester. I enrolled you in online classes and have been turning in your assignments so they wouldn't drop you. As for your football training, the coach and I are friends. He expects you bright and early in his office Monday morning. Without me, you'd have nothing. I don’t expect us to be buddy buddy, but I’d like a chance to redeem myself. What do you say?”
I want to tell him no, but he’s right. I need this money. “Fine, but I’m not staying at your house tonight.”
Derek chuckles and smirks. “I didn’t think you would.”
I see him leaning against an oak tree across campus. Long, denim clad legs crossed at the ankles. Hands tucked partway into his pockets. I blink twice, wondering why is my mind still doing this to me? I thought I was over seeing Asher everywhere. His face plagues my dreams, a constant reminder of how he's rotting behind bars because of me.
I thought the ghosts of Asher’s memory had finally moved on and was letting me have peace, if only while awake. I hadn't seen Asher in weeks. Not that I ever actually saw him. Usually, my heart raced at the sight of fair skin or dark hair, torturing me with hope. Occasionally, my mind would even show me a flicker of a broken memory, making me question my sanity.
I never told anyone I was hallucinating, drawing conclusions, and essentially driving myself crazy. Mom would have freaked and sent me back to my childhood shrink. Maggie would have scolded me that my feelings were irrational. She still thinks you can’t fall in love in six weeks. I want to agree with her. The logical part of me says she’s right, but my stupid heart doesn’t listen to reason. It still aches for Asher, even with Liam by my side again.