I Love You, I Hate You: Part 1

She rolls to face me, the warmth of her breath dancing against my skin. I stare into her eyes, fighting with myself to stay in control.

“I know. It’s just…this is too hard.”

“What is?”

“Fighting what I feel for you. It’s exhausting to pretend that I don’t like you but I’m terrified to give in.”

“Why?” Why fight anymore? She’s single. I’m single. What is holding her back?

“Because I know you’ll break my heart.”

I can’t promise she won’t cry because of me. And I can’t promise to always be there for her because a promise like that is too big, but I can promise that she’s the only one I want to try this with. I can’t be friends. I need to know what her skin feels like on mine. And once we cross this bridge, I don’t want friends with benefits. Friends share, and the thought of sharing Danika sets me on fire. I’ve already had to share her lips with Gunner and it ate me alive every time I saw them together.

No. If we’re going to do this, it’s going to be done right. But I don’t say anything. I keep my thoughts to myself because I don’t want to scare her off. Instead I cup her cheek. It feels good to touch her, all my fire and tension inside melts away. She looks up at me with those bedroom eyes, silently begging for my lips, but I wait. This is a moment I can’t get back. It needs to be savored, etched in my memory because I’ve never been so nervous to be this close to someone before.

Danika closes her eyes, growing impatient with me, and presses her mouth to mine. Her lips are as soft as petals, parting to allow my tongue in. I feel her suck in a breath, holding it, as I slip my fingers into the base of her ponytail. I slide my other hand between the mattress and her waist and pull her on top of me. Her legs straddle my waist. There’s nothing but a few thin layers of fabric between us and it’s fucking torture. I want this girl more than I’ve wanted anyone in my life.

Danika curls her fingers around my neck. Her nails press into my skin, sending a small surge of energy straight to my pants. My cock twitches and by the way her hips move against mine, I think she can feel it.

“Well, well, well.”

Danika and I hear at the same time. She pulls away and sits up, her chest excitedly rising and falling as she tries to catch her breath. I prop up on my elbows and glare.

Melody stands with her

arms crossed in the doorway. “I guess little Miss. Goody-two-shoes isn’t so innocent after all. Time’s up.”

26

Danika

Holy fireworks explosions! No, not fireworks. F-ing grenades. Fireworks are beautiful but loud, leaving their observers awestruck. Grenades shock and destroy everything in their path and I have been destroyed.

I knew kissing Logan would have an effect on me, but I wasn’t prepared for this carnal need to take over. I wanted him. Needed to feel him everywhere. Even now, as I slide off his lap, I can feel his hard length rub against my silk panties. It sends a tingle to my core I’ve never experienced before.

I smooth the wrinkles from my skirt and pull the tie from my hair. I run my finger across my scalp down to my roots, releasing what can only be called love knots. Logan threads his hand with mine and those same tingles spread up my arm and to my core again. I bite my lip, wishing I had stopped fighting my feelings sooner.

I half expect the other playmates—oh! I get it now, Gunner’s playmates—to clap when we emerge but the hallway is silent. Empty. Everyone has gone their own way, like their hookup never happened.

Melody hits me with her shoulder as I pass through the doorway and whispers, “Slut.”

I look over the banister as Logan and I descend the stairs, seeing the party with new eyes. I get it now. Everyone dancing together and making out in corners is chasing this tingling euphoria. And those who disappear into bedrooms, they’re trying to satisfy the needy ache that comes with those tingles.

Logan takes me straight to the kitchen. Just as before he gets two plastic cups and a can of soda, splitting it between us. I take a sip, but it doesn’t satisfy the new thirst I have. I set my drink on the counter and say, “Let’s dance.”

He shakes his head. “My dancing skills are strictly reserved for moonlight serenades with the girl who owns my heart. I’ll watch you though.”

I don’t want to dance with just anyone, I want to dance with him. I step closer and put my hand on his chest. His heart beats violently. I smile because mine’s doing the same thing. I look up into his eyes, too drunk on the moment to relish his words and lick my lips.

Logan sets his drink on the counter behind him then wraps his arm around my waist, eliminating the space between us. His head dips, mouth pressing against mine, tongue sweeping with a vicious hunger. All of the blood in my veins rush to my head, making me dizzy. Logan’s kiss is pure perfection, this one even better than the first, if that’s possible.

I’ve got this terrifying yet thrilling feeling that nothing between us will be the same after tonight. I should be disappointed because I just got Logan as a friend, but I have a hunch that whatever we're about to become will be so much better.

Logan pulls back and I rest my head on his chest. I close my eyes, savoring this moment because nothing has ever felt so sweet. Mom was right. She warned that when I finally gave in to the pull, it would change me forever.

It has.

“Okay.” The word rumbles in his chest.