I Love You, I Hate You: Part 2

His lip lifts into a sad smile as he tugs me to my feet. “What can I say? I adjusted my dancing requirements.” His words shoot straight to my heart. There’s a flicker of pain that crosses his face, but it’s gone as quickly as it came. His lips stretch wider, into an exaggerated smile. “Come one, Dani. It’s one dance.”

I let him guide us around tables to the empty dance floor. I’m pretty sure no one is supposed to be dancing right now, but at this point I don’t care. “Last time we did this, everything changed between us.”

Logan spins me once, then pulls me tight against his body. He brushes the tip of his nose across my cheek, sending a shiver through me. “I don’t think I’ll be so lucky this time.”

I turn my head, resting my ear against Logan’s shoulder. His heart is racing, probably because of all the alcohol he’s drunk, but I’d like to think he’s excited to hold me again. I close my eyes, knowing people are watching but not giving a damn. The song ends too quickly and we stop moving. I forgot how right it felt to be in his arms. How the world and all of my worries and doubts fade away until there’s nothing but us.

I look up into Logan’s eyes, hoping he’ll kiss me. I’m still on the fence about this whole sleep-together-to-get-over-him idea, but maybe if he still sends that earth shattering jolt of lust through me with his kiss, I can do it. Logan’s head dips a fraction of an inch. He exhales a strained breath then takes a step back, still holding my hand. “I promised you one dance.”

“I don’t mind another.” I’m doing this. I’m actually doing this, putting myself out there. This whole time I thought I hated Logan, and maybe I do, but I think I finally understand that saying about how there’s a fine line between love and hate. I don’t love Logan, at least not like I used to, but I’m not sure I hate him, either. I think I’m standing on that line, where nothing and everything makes sense at the same time.

“We should probably go back to the table.” Logan looks over my shoulder. “Piper and Rex have already sat back down and Mom is giving us the stink eye.”

I was so lost in Logan's arms, I didn’t realize that they’d gotten up and danced with us too. There’s enough space to fit two people between us now and I feel surprisingly cold without Logan’s body against mine. I want to feel him again. All of him. Tiny tremors vibrate through me. I’m really going to do this, sleep with Logan tonight. Oh, God. I think I need a drink.

12

Danika

“There’s my baby girl!” Dad exclaims, waltzing over with his new bride at his side. He throws his arms out, pulling me into a hug, rocking me side to side. Outside of our weekly FaceTime calls—and obviously this weekend—I haven’t seen him since I left. He refuses to come to Georgia, saying it’s too hard, and up until now, I’ve refused to come to Florida—citing his same excuse.

“Hi, Dad.”

He pulls back from the embrace, hands on my biceps and grins. After a moment, his hands drop and side steps, making room for Mama T, I mean Tessa, to lean in. My stomach churns as soon as she touches me. I keep my arms at my sides, making this the most uncomfortable hug of all time. Tessa gives up on the embrace and glances at my father. “Hun, do you think I could have a few moments alone with Danika?”

“Of course.” Dad kisses the side of Tessa’s head then squeezes my shoulder. I’ve never expressed my dislike for Tessa to him. Anything he may have picked up on was straight from the horse herself.

“I think we should talk,” Tessa says as soon as Dad is out of earshot. She sidesteps to the corner of the room, expecting me to follow. When I don’t, she sighs and comes back to where I’m standing. “I think we got off on the wrong foot all those years ago.”

I cross my arms and narrow my eyes on her. I’ve had nightmares about this woman. Legit nightmares about Logan when he was a kid and how she sat back and let his abuse happen. Tessa is a coward for not stopping her husband’s beatings. An idiot for not believing him when he told her about Dr. Shaffer’s molestation. But it’s her heartlessness, her ability to chalk Logan’s distress up as nothing more than dramatics, that makes me physically sick.

And angry.

So.

So.

Angry.

I take a step forward, making both of us uncomfortable by how little personal space we have. “No. I got to see the real you. The one who picked favorites and put herself before her hurting son. You’re a pathetic excuse for a mother and I can’t for the life of me find the redeeming qualities that my father sees in you.”

“You wouldn’t understand.” Tessa sniffs back fake tears, expecting my sympathy, but I have nothing for her but disdain. “You’re not a mother. You don't know what it’s like to give every bit of yourself to someone else. I had three someone elses to take care of. I could only do so much.”

Don’t I though? Don’t I know what it’s like to give everything you have to a child who constantly needs more?

I can’t fault Tessa for not knowing about Molly. She’s my beautiful secret I plan to keep as far from this evil woman as possible. Tessa would probably kill Molly, not on purpose, but because she’s so damn ignorant. “That’s not an excuse.”

Tessa presses her lips into a tight line and exhales through her nose. I can see her losing her patience with me and this conversation because I’m not buying her bullshit excuse. “Look, Danika, you don’t have to like me but you have to respect me. Logan has moved past what’s happened to him. He’s doing better and has forgiven me.”

Logan does look better, but Ryan says he’s a mess, and I’m more inclined to believe him than this pathetic excuse of a woman. I smile sarcastically and tilt my head to the right. “I’m so glad Logan has moved on from his neglect.”

Tessa’s neck and ears turn a shade of red that makes me oddly happy. I don’t care that this is her special day. She should be embarrassed about her parenting skills. “I get it. You hate me, but after today we are family.”

“No.” I hold up my finger silencing her. We are more related than she realizes. Her blood, her stupid, selfish, ignorant blood, runs through my daughter, but even that doesn’t make Tessa family in my book. “Just because you’re marrying my dad and changing your last name doesn't change anything to me. If I knew of a word stronger than hate, I’d use it, but I don’t. Make no mistake, Tessa. I hate you. You aren’t my step mother.” Even if she is evil. “You’re just the bitch who lured my dad into her bed and conned him into giving her a ring.”

13

Logan