Logan does the same and before I know it my chest is pressed against him and his big hands are on my hips. I look up into the vortex Logan calls eyes, feeling my pulse everywhere. If I speak, I’ll ruin this. Say something stupid to piss him off or cut the tension between us. Logan still hasn’t kissed me and I wonder, Have I lost my touch?
I suck the corner of my bottom lip between my teeth and Logan grunts deep in his throat.
“This is cruel.”
Cruel? How? I’m the one half naked. I’m the one on the verge of a panic attack. I’m the one who will feel like a complete idiot if he doesn’t make a move in the next thirty seconds. Still, I say nothing.
“Tell me to leave, Danika.” Logan licks his lips, sucking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “Tell me to leave before I throw you on that bed and have my way with you.”
I didn’t know it was possible for my heart to beat faster but it does. My head spins, probably because I haven’t taken a breath since stepping into Logan’s arms but still I say nothing.
Logan waits another ten seconds before taking my silence as non-verbal agreement. He slides his hands under my thighs and lifts me. My legs wrap around his waist as my back slams against the wall. He grabs my wrist, pinning my hands by my shoulders, lips sweeping over my neck. I gasp, eyes rolling to the back of my head. Goosebumps pepper my skin, fighting my tingling nerves for space. I open my mouth to tell him how good this feels but my stupid words have a plan of their own.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Whhhhhyyyyy? Why of all things did that come out of my mouth? Even when I’m consciously trying to make this happen between us, my subconscious gets in the way.
“Abso-fucking-lutely.” Logan’s grip tightens, almost painfully, but not threatening. If anything, the sliver of discomfort mixed with pure desire turns me on more.
“You’re my brother now.” Jeeze. Do I not have a filter? Does his lips on my ear, sending a jolt of need straight through me, make me so stupid as to self-sabotage?
Logan rests his forehead against mine. His breaths ragged pants that match my own. “I’ll never be your brother, Danika. Besides, we came first”
He crashes his lips against mine and they’re the sweetest sin I’ve ever tasted. I’m going to regret this tomorrow. His tongue sweeps into my mouth and ours dance together in unison. The last three years, six months, and two days could have never happened, if they did, our bodies never got the memo because they’re acting like this embrace is second nature.
Logan turns us, one hand fumbling with the ties of my bustier, then drops us both onto the bed. He gives up, like I hoped, and shoves his hand down the front, cupping my breast and pulling it free over the top. He does the same with the other, hungrily sucking on my nipple.
My back arches, a ripple of pleasure coursing through me. Logan takes that as an invitation and peppers kisses down my covered stomach to the crease of my thigh. I lift my ass as he grips the lace of my panties and discards them on the floor.
‘Fucking. Beautiful,” he mumbles against my folds. Logan never went down on me in high school and seeing as I haven’t been with anyone since, this is a first. Pressure builds inside me with each lick of his tongue until I think I might explode. It’s then Logan slides his finger inside me and the euphoria I’m swimming in cracks.
Pain sears its way between my legs and I gasp.
Logan, intuitive as ever, stops what he’s doing and looks up at me curiously. “You okay?”
I push up onto my elbows and hope to god I look better than I feel. “Yeah. Totally. Why’d you stop?”
“I’m gonna kick myself for asking this.” He sits back onto his knees and sighs. “Have you been with anyone since you left?”
“Is it that obvious?” I fall back onto the pillow. Tears of embarrassment sting my eyes. I didn’t know it was possible to suck at sex before even getting to the sex part. I should have listened to Sarah and bought a vibrator or something, but the thought of doing that to myself is weird. Besides, it’s not like there’s a lot of privacy when you live with your grandmother.
Logan chuckles and armycrawls up to me until he’s laying over my body. “You’re as tight as you were in Miami, babe.”
I groan and squeeze my eyes shut. Logan presses his lips against my collarbone, sucking the spot that tickles in the best way possible. He finds my mouth, kissing me softer than before. I savor this one because, when I let myself fall into it, it feels like the old days. When no one mattered besides us and the world was at our feet.
I curl the hem of Logan’s shirt between my fingers and pull it over his head. My hands run down his back, feeling the scars he’s no longer ashamed of. A reminder that we aren’t the people we used to be.
My thumbs trace the edge of Logan’s belt along his waist until I find the buckle. He doesn’t stop me when I unhook his belt. His lips stay on mine as I unbutton and unzip his pants. It’s not until my thumbs dip beneath the band of his boxers that Logan breaks our kiss.
“We don’t have to do this.”
“Will you regret it?” Will I? At this point, I’m not sure I know the answer. I convinced myself to do this. That this was just sex. Nothing more than one last hoorah before the big goodbye. But is it?
Without hesitation he says, “Never.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. I never thought I’d say these next words aloud. Never be given the chance. “I’m on the pill.”
Logan smiles then dips his mouth to mine. He pushes my legs open with his knees and reaches down between us. I close my eyes, focusing on our kiss as he presses the head of his dick against my opening.
Last time we did this, Logan pushed himself into me with one drawn out stroke. This time, he works his way in. The process takes longer but hurts a million times less. Stretching around his hard length for the first time, it’s uncomfortable. But within a few strokes it starts to feel good. My body melts into the bed and fuses with his.