I Love You, I Hate You: Part 2

“That was,” she pauses, yielding at a three-way stop, “nice. Thank you.”

“We could make it a thing, you know.” My knee-jerk reaction almost had me saying anytime, but I know Danika. If I don’t specifically say that I want to do this again, it won’t happen.

“Make what a thing?”

We pass by our old neighborhood and she doesn’t even look that way. The pit in my stomach twists, bringing back the urge to reach for a drink, but I ignore it. I may not have quit cold-turkey, but I quit the part that counts—the part that made me dependent. Even though I’ve been doing great the past few weeks, every now and then that urge comes back to haunt me and the monkey on my back starts complaining. “Did you know that Mom does a family dinner every Sunday?”

“Funny, no one told me.” Danika says this like it’s anything but funny. I’m surprised Walter hasn’t invited them yet. Then again, he may be more pissed off at Danika for hiding his grandkid than he lets on.

“I think I was supposed to,” I say, trying not to add more rips to the broken relationship she has with her dad. “Sorry, I try not to go as often as possible.”

Molly screams from the back seat. Danika sighs and looks up at her through the rearview mirror. “She dropped her doll.”

“I got it.” I twist in my seat and grab the toy that’s fallen past her feet. As soon as it’s back in her hands, Molly stops screaming and goes back to playing. “Does that happen often?”

Danika nods. “It was worse at school, when she went. Most days she could only stay until noon, then Nona or I would have to go get her.”

A twinge of guilt rears its ugly face. I don’t have my grandparents. Both sets died when I was a kid. I wish I didn’t have to rip them apart. “How is your Nona?”

Danika’s brakes squeal again as she pulls into the driveway. Molly covers her ears but doesn’t scream because the sound doesn’t last nearly as long as it did backing out. “She’s good. Misses us.”

“That’s good.” I nod. Danika doesn’t turn the car off, so I don’t move to get out yet. I want to stretch our time together as long as possible. Once I get out of the car, I’ll have to go home to an empty house again. I’d rather be here.

“We could do this again next Sunday,” she says. “Unless that’s too much family in one day for you.”

I lick my lips, fighting the smile that’s tugging with the might of Thor. “We’re a family?”

Danika sighs and looks over her shoulder. Molly’s playing gleefully, without a care in the world. “Yeah,” she continues. “We’re all kinds of broken.” She turns her gaze back to me, looking me dead in the eye. “But I guess we are.”

26

Danika

I press the rim of my bottle to my lips and take a sip. I’m already in a pissy mood.Travis ended up asking me on another date, one I wasn’t too keen on accepting until I remembered that I told Logan we were going out again. And what happened? The jerk made me take an Uber across town to this shithole of a bar just to stand me up! And of course, Logan has to show up, seeing me in all my pathetic glory.

He pulls the stool beside me back. “I never pictured you to be a dive bar kind of girl.”

“What are you doing?”

Logan shrugs and flashes me that crooked grin, the one that sends a jolt of heat through me. “Call me crazy, but a pretty girl like you shouldn’t be sitting alone at a bar. There’s a lot of weirdos out there.” He winks and points a finger to himself.

I roll my eyes and finish the last of my cider then set the empty bottle on the bar. “You hate me. Remember?”

I don't think Logan hates me anymore, but it’s easier to fight my feelings if I pretend that he does.

The smile falls from Logan’s face. He turns towards the bartender and holds up two fingers. The guy behind the counter hands me another cider and Logan a beer. “I don’t hate you, Danika. I tried to for years, but the feeling never stuck.”

“Oh.” I grab the cider he’s bought for me and take a sip. Heat climbs my neck, tinging my cheeks red. Hearing him say those wo

rds out loud sends a ripple of goosebumps down my arms. I gulp down half the bottle, using my spinning head as a distraction from the feelings I don’t want to deal with.

“I do, however, hate what you did with Molly.”

There it is. I set my drink down and suck in a fresh breath of air. I pull a ten dollar bill from my purse and set it on the counter. My cider couldn’t have been more than three or four dollars. That should cover both of them and a tip. For a split second I thought we could do this, hang out, but of course the past has to rear its ugly head and ruin everything.

Logan reaches for my wrist as I stand. It doesn’t matter that my skin tingles with his touch. We’re obviously not at a point where we can hang out as friends. “Where are you going?”

“Home.” I glare at that pretty face and notice him wince from the bite in my tone. I don’t mean to be bitter. He does that to me; brings out my best and worst qualities.