Beautifully Broken

“Rape me?” My voice breaks, barely able to utter the words.

The two-minute-warning bell rings. “Maybe we should have this conversation at home. With mom,” Cooper says, clearly uncomfortable with the conversation.

“You backed yourself into this corner, Coop.” My adrenaline’s running rampant. I’m angry and upset all at once. A lethal combination. “No, I wasn’t raped.”

Cooper lets out a sigh of relief. “Oh thank God. I mean—”

I don’t let him finish. There’s no relief in what happened to me. No it could have been worse. In either situation, what could have happened and what did happen, I die on the inside. The tiny bit of fire I had left in me to survive was snuffed out the moment Gerald’s hands touched me. “I stabbed him in the neck and ran away before he got the chance.”

Cooper stares, eyes wide. He’s finally seeing me for what I am. A monster. I snort-laugh through my tears. “I stabbed him until he’d lost too much blood to fight back and then I pushed Gerald’s heavy body off me and ran to Bane’s.”

Cooper takes a step back, literally backing himself into a corner. “Gerald McCarron? Bane’s dad?”

I nod, dead inside again. What little spark of life that had been ignited is gone. I don’t know why I’m still crying. I’m not upset about what I did, or even what happened anymore. This is my life.

Cooper looks at me like I’m a rabid beast. Afraid to get close. “Did Bane hurt you too?”

“Fuck you for even suggesting that. He saved me. I know you hate Bane, Cooper, but without him that night I’d probably be dead.”

Cooper’s legs give out, unable to handle anymore. He slides down the wall, his body slouching when it hits the floor. “Fucking hell, Piper. Why didn’t you tell me?”

I crouch down to Cooper’s level and look him dead in the eye. He needs to understand that I’m in a shit hole so deep no one can dig me out of it. “Because if Gerald and his gang found out you knew what happened, they could come for you too.”

Fear dances across his face. “What are you talking about?”

Someone knocks.

No one knocks on a stairwell door. I already know who’s coming before the door creeps open. I stand and take a step back.

Rex peeks his head in, “Piper we should—” his words cut off. Probably because I look like a dying racoon with mascara running down my cheeks. He steps in and closes the door, then pulls me into his chest, arms protectively wrapping around me. “You okay?”

The tension in my lungs fades almost instantly. I close my eyes and bury my face in his shirt. Somehow, even when I’m at my darkest, Rex makes me feel again. I know I should hold on to the emptiness, it’ll make leaving that much easier but I can’t. Being in his arms is like curling up with a good book and a cozy blanket on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Pure perfection.

I nod.

“This!” Cooper bellows in frustration. He stands and waves a hand in Rex’s direction. “Why is it that he can do this and I can’t? Goddamn it, I should be the one comforting you. I’m your best friend. I fucking love you, Piper!”

I wipe my nose on the back of my hand. “Because every time I look at you, at anyone from this school, memories of that night come flooding back. The good and the bad. You’re a before. The only reason I think I’m okay with Rex is because he’s an after.”

17

Rex

Cooper storms past us, pushing the door behind me open with such force it slams against the wall and echoes in the stairwell. I feel bad for the guy. It’s obvious he likes her. Hell, with everything they’ve been through, he probably loves her as more than a friend too.

Cooper doubles back and glares at me. He’s a big boy, nearly as tall as me and built like a brick shit house, but if need be, I could take him. “Swear to God, Rex. If you hurt her, I’ll kill you.”

I ignore his comment and look down at Piper. “You okay?”

She lets out a sound that’s a mix between a laugh and a cry. “Not even close.”

I expected as much. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop on her conversation, but it was hard not to hear. I get it now, why Piper hates to sleep. Closing her eyes, reliving the worst day of her life, I can’t begin to imagine the pain she deals with on a daily basis. “Want to get lunch?”

“It’s 10:45.”

“Yeah, and lunch is next period. We’re just getting a jump on it.”

“Sure,” Piper agrees, but there’s no happiness in her tone. She’s a shell of the person I had last night, but it’s okay. Everything will be alright because I’ll breathe life into her again. Now more than ever I feel like I was brought here to save her. I hold my hand out, but Piper crosses her arms, hugging herself.