Watch Me (Phoenix 1)

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Can’t,” she repeated with a slight shrug. “I’ve tried to date. I can’t get past the first date. And even on the first date, I have full-on panic attacks. I know it’s hard to understand, but my virginity didn’t mean what it used to mean to me.

It’s not special or sacred. It was a dark cloud over my life. And I’m glad it’s gone. That was my choice, my decision. And in the end, with the financial gift, I can move back home, buy a house, and have the life I should have had before two assholes decided to ruin everything.”

Rhys listened to the trees rustle in the breeze, unable to take his eyes off her. He had seen people hurting before, and he could split them into two types. One hiding from their pain. The other dealing with it. Zoey was the latter, and he found her awareness refreshing. He’d been there once too. Hell, he owned Phoenix because it was part of his recovery after Katherine passed away. Her death was not easy; she fought death right to the end, and with her last breath, she screamed at the injustice of it all. A sound that haunted him ever since.

He’d opened Phoenix out of frustration and anger that Katherine’s life was cut short, with so many hopes, dreams, and desires unfulfilled. Back then, he held back. After Katherine died, he stopped holding back from what he truly wanted. He’d stepped down as CEO of Harrington Finance, the company his family owned. He bought the cigar club as a playground to indulge his voyeuristic desires and to keep his emotions out of the game. Of course, with the frustration and anger over Katherine’s death fading, he enjoyed what the club brought to others. Freedom and happiness. He found fulfillment in seeing others living authentically.

“So,” Zoey said after a long, deep breath, drawing Rhys from his thoughts. “Are you upset with me for using your club for my own personal gains?”

He took a moment to examine her. She thought she was this hardened woman. That question proved her wrong. Pain hardened people. Rhys had seen that happen to Katherine, and she never recovered. Her cancer had created a hatred in Katherine that became all-consuming, and Rhys couldn’t pull her out of that darkness. But Zoey wasn’t hardened. She wouldn’t care if he was upset if she was. “Upset, no, but I’d like to know how you managed all this. How you not only found out about the club, but also managed to get on the inside.”

She shrugged and gave a sly smile. “A girl can never tell her secrets.”

He gave that smile back. “To let this matter go, I need to understand how you breached my security. Save me the trouble of digging. You owe me that.”

She watched him closely, obviously judging his character as a couple strode by, hand in hand. She must have liked what she saw on his face, because she hedged, “I didn’t necessarily breach your security. My roommate Elise is a private investigator. For the last year, we’ve been keeping an eye on Jake’s and Scott’s texts and emails.”

“In hopes they’d say something?”

“You know, I don’t even really know what I was waiting for. It’s like I knew to get my justice against them, I had to keep tabs on them.”

“And then you learned they were members of my club?”

She gave a slow nod. “That’s where my other roommate, Hazel, came in. She’s a reporter. Good with research. Between my friends, we learned what we could, and then,” she cringed, “Elise hacked your system in order to get the passcode to fill out the application.”

Unbelievable. He stared at her, speechless.

She studied his face and winced. “I’m sorry. I know that’s so wrong, but when I weighed my options, this gave me a way to leave all this hell behind me. Are you going to press charges?”

He snorted a laugh. “Press charges? No, Zoey, I’m impressed, actually, and considering offering your roommates jobs.” She’d found out the unfindable, or so he’d believed. He could only imagine Archer’s irritation when he discovered the system he thought unfaultable was anything but.

Those thoughts vanished with her satisfied smile. A much better look on her than pain and tears. She looked like she was breathing easier now. For years, he’d tried his best to do right by others, to bring them happiness so people felt satisfied with their lives. So that no one felt like Katherine did. That when someone died, they knew they’d lived their life to the fullest. But there was something about Zoey, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Something that told him not to walk away. Something that had him wanting more. “I have a proposition for you.”

Her eyebrows rose atop twinkling eyes. “What sort of proposition?”

“Spend more time with me.”

“Why?” She gasped.

He couldn’t fight the slight chuckle that escaped him. “What Jake and Scott did to you that night has created revolving pain that you never deserved. But I’m here to tell you there is more to life than pain. Let me show you.” Before she could think on it too much, he took her hand and rose, bringing her close against him until there wasn’t any space between them. Her body against his felt oddly…right. Even with the dark night around them, he caught the flushing of her cheeks, the parting of her lips, begging for a kiss. “Here is my proposition: spend your final days in New York City with me. Let me show you how you should have been treated. How intimacy should be.”

“Why would you want to do that for me?”

He hesitated then told her the truth. “Because the look on your face when you removed your mask haunts me. That pain is burned into my mind. Don’t leave New York City with that pain. Let’s erase it. Together.”

She took a step back. “I’m fine.”

He stepped forward. “Are you?”

“Yes—” She hesitated, and something shifted on her face, a coldness breaking into uncertainty. “Okay, maybe I’m not totally fine, but—”

“You’re surviving, right?”

Her eyes searched his. “I guess you could say that.”

He got that. He’d been there once too. Surviving watching Katherine die, and hating every second of not being able to save her. “When did ‘just surviving’ end up being good enough?” Oddly protective of her and determined to help her heart weather this storm, he added, “Last night, I took your virginity. You gave that to me willingly, and I appreciate the hell out of it, believe me. Now I’m asking for you to give me…more. Can you offer me that, too?”