I nearly breathe a sigh of relief at the detachment deepening her tone. I can deal with this particular coldness. I see it all the time on the faces of businessmen, and I’m well aware how to use it to my advantage to get what I want.
Shoving my hands into my pockets, I move toward her desk, deciding it best not to take a seat, and remain standing. “Leaving this morning was a mistake,” I tell her, which is an absolute first for me. I never apologize for leaving a woman in the morning. Nor do I make excuses for my behavior. In fact, if Allie weren’t Darius’s half-sister, this conversation would go very differently. I would use my best negotiation tactics to ensure that Allie was okay with my leaving and accepted the way I like to do things.
But Allie is no ordinary woman, she is Darius’s half-sister.
I’m careful that when we part she walks away from me on good terms. I will have to tell Darius about being with Allie, but first I need her to believe she’s simply leaving me because we’re not right for each other.
No hard feelings, that’s what I need here.
The air is thick—tense—and she’s still not looking at me when I continue. “I see that I upset you and that wasn’t my intention.”
She snorts, shaking her head softly. “Oh, I know it wasn’t.”
My back stiffens, but it’s not because I’m hearing a snarky tone in her voice; it’s because it sounds forced. I narrow my focus on her intently, becoming aware of only her. My throat constricts, muscles strain at the dark circles under her eyes and how she’s suddenly stroking her eyebrow.
“I regret having hurt you,” I offer.
“I’m not hurt.”
She’s still not looking at me, and my fists are now clenching in my pockets. I want to move to her and grasp her chin, commanding her to show me those soulful eyes that tell me so much. But she’s hiding them from me.
“Everything is A-OK,” she finishes.
I’m trying to keep to the plan of allowing her to walk away from me on her terms, but my head is spinning at the way she’s acting and her flat, monotone voice. I can’t remember all the reasons I need to stay away from her. All I want to do is bring her close and make her feel safe enough not to hide from me. “Allie, look at me.”
“Listen, there’s nothing more to say here.” Her shoulders are curving as she rises from her seat. “I know this is normal for you. You know, letting the maid clean up after you and such. And I’m sure the girls you’re used to dating don’t mind that, but I happen to.” She pushes her chair under her desk, still avoiding me. “Don’t worry. I get it. That’s the type of guy you are, so that’s what you do.”
She’s right. I am that guy.
Only this time, with her, it feels wrong to be that guy.
“Allie.” I’m not even sure what I want to say next.
She goes to walk by me, staring straight ahead at the closed door. The ground is dropping out from under me. I’m shaking and not even thinking, only acting, as I reach for her, stopping her from leaving. “Dammit, Allie. Look at me.”
Then her eyes meet mine, and I’m being hit in the center of my chest by a freight train. My breath is gone, my stomach is sinking, and I cannot let go of her.
I don’t want to.
In the same way her smile once blasted warmth across me, her sadness slams me with equally intense ice. Her eyes, those gorgeous eyes, are wet and dull. I caused that. Her chin is trembling. I did that. She’s hurting. All because of me. “Christ,” I bite off. “What can I say to make you feel better?”
“You don’t need to say anything.” She yanks herself away from me, her chest hitching. “This isn’t about you. It’s about me. You have nothing to feel bad about. I was expecting you to be different, and that’s wrong of me. Honestly, this is all fine. But I can’t do this with you.” She moves to the door, whisking it open. “We gave it a shot, but clearly we’re two very different people.”
The plan was to let her leave me. That plan makes sense for all involved. It is the smartest choice. It’s my way out. I plant my feet wide on the floor, as the room spins slightly, and before I can help it, I call, “Do you not remember what happened between us last night?”
“No.” She glances over her shoulder, her desolate eyes meeting mine. A painful tightness grabs hold of my throat when she adds, “I only remember what happened this morning.”
Chapter 10
Allie
Shortly before seven at night, I enter The Vault, exhausted to my bones. Micah still weighs heavy on my mind, but I’m too damn tired to even begin to figure it all out and I have something else to deal with now. I step farther into the restaurant, past the greeter. “It’s okay,” I tell her, as her lips part to welcome me. “I’m meeting someone who’s already here.”
“Enjoy your dinner.” She smiles.
“Thanks.” I run my fingers through my hair, damp from the rain, moving past the round tables draped with white linens. I don’t love the reminder that the last time I’d been here was with Micah. Like I need more reminders of him.
Near the back of the restaurant, not far from the table where I’d met with the Lowes, I find Darius. His almond-shaped eyes meet mine, and for a split second they warm with his slight smile. It’s a tender, totally unguarded smile that he reserves for only two people: Taylor and me. Yet as he rises, I notice the tenseness of his movement.