I wrap my hands around Allie’s, craving that this second lasted a lifetime. That the happiness I see on her face now could remain, because deep down, my stomach is churning. “Nothing,” I manage.
“That is not the face of nothing.” Her eyes are searching mine, searching for a truth she’ll never find. “What are you thinking about?”
“You.” I squeeze her hands on my face. “Always you.”
And if I can protect you from me…
Chapter 16
Allie
“Allie Parker: half-sister to billionaire Darius Bennett, and the new woman in Micah Holt’s
life. We have all the juicy details!” God, I can only imagine what the headlines will say about me in the morning. I begin coming up with a hundred variations of some killer headlines, as Micah pulls me onto the dance floor. Clicking of cameras and bright flashes threaten to blind me and steal the quiet life I’ve been living. Tomorrow morning, the world will know every single thing about me.
It doesn’t matter. Not anymore.
I want him.
I want this.
Micah’s holding me close against his strong, warm body, and our hips are swaying to the beat of the music coming from the live band set up beside the dance floor. His fingers tightly hold mine, as his other hand sprawls against my exposed back. All eyes in this room are on us. I haven’t been in the spotlight for so long, and my fingers and toes are tingling. Part of me wants to flee. The other—stronger—part won’t step away from him. But the longer we’re dancing, the more I feel like eyes are following me, looking at every flaw, discovering everything about me, and my racing heart begins pumping blood rapidly through my veins.
Micah squeezes my hand then, drawing my gaze to him. His eyes are smiling down at me. “Your attention should be right here. On me.”
“I feel like I’m being watched at every angle.” I scrunch my nose, wishing I could cover us in a large blanket, hiding us from the watchful eyes. “It’s kinda creepy.”
“It’s annoying, I know.” He spins us away from a few women on their camera phones and moves us behind another couple on the dance floor, far away from the flashing lights. One brow arches. “Better?”
“Much, thank you.” I lean in, feeling the hard lines of his body, and surrounding myself with his heat. Especially because tonight he feels cold. Distant. I’m not sure what happened to him in the car, but his guards are up now, his expression showing very little. “Dinner was nice, hmm?” I remark, trying to get him out of his thoughts.
He angles his head to me and gives a small smile, squeezing my hand in his. “This is better.”
Even now, as I stare into his smoky eyes, I know something is breaking him apart inside. I can see it. I can feel it. I want to ask him but somehow I don’t think it’s my place to. At least not yet. He needs to tell me himself and in his own time.
My worry must show on my face because he releases a long-suffering sigh while he’s watching me with assessing eyes. “You surprised me tonight,” he eventually says.
“Did I?”
He nods. “I wasn’t expecting you to enjoy the gala.”
“To be honest, I wasn’t sure how I would feel.” I’d walked away from this high-class life, and I had been wondering if tonight would be different, because Micah gave a lot of his money to charities. I did feel different, but it’s not content or happy; it’s the exact opposite. My stomach knots, dullness forming in my chest, realizing I had a lot of money and I did nothing with it. Tonight everyone had come to support a good cause. Shame weighs on me that I hadn’t done the same, instead of letting my money sit in the bank, pretending it’s not there.
I’m following the smooth sway of Micah’s hips, seeing his expression soften when I finish, “It’s a pretty great feeling watching people helping others.”
“Yes, it is, and I never really looked at it that way before.” His hand sprawls on my back, pushing a little harder, bringing me closer to him, like he needs me to warm him. “You see the world in a beautiful way—has anyone ever told you that?”
“How do I see the world?” I ask, smiling up at him.
“You see good in all things.” He pauses, and a deep line forms between his brows. “Maybe even see it in things that don’t deserve it.”
My smile washes right off my face. I stop dancing and cup his face, not caring who’s watching us. “Where have you gone tonight?” Out in the Bentley I saw a different man. One I didn’t know. I still see that man now. I had a glimpse of him when I first met Micah at Richardsons, a side of him that seemed hauntingly dark. Sometimes I see that guy again. But now it’s not just a side of Micah, it’s all I see, and it’s scaring me.
“I’m here,” he says, leaning into my touch.
“No, Micah, you’re not.”
He says nothing in response, but I don’t need him to. I see it in his eyes that he’s so far away from me tonight. I don’t know why he’s gone to this dark place. But I know how to bring him back, because that’s an instinctual thing.