Bound Beneath His Pain (Dirty Little Secrets 1)

“You’re dismissing me?” I ask in pure disbelief.

Everything he’s hurting inside suddenly swells into something different, something raw. This is the guy my mother told me about. This is the guy who doesn’t give a shit about who he hurts and only cares about his own agenda. This is the guy I won’t ever let railroad me. No one—man or otherwise—can make me believe my reality is different than it is, because he doesn’t want to face his issues.

Like wildfire attacking air, all of my heavy emotions get sucked away, leaving only fury burning in my chest. “Don’t you dare try to make me believe that what we had was some fairy tale only I imagined and you weren’t the guy I thought you were.” Emotion blazes in his eyes, but coldness sweeps over his face so fast I wonder now if I’m imagining things. “What we had was real. I was there for every second. I felt you, and I know you felt me, too.”

He’s staring at me so hard, I’m wondering if I’m breaking through his barriers. But his shields are indestructible today. I realize, as he leans forward and clicks the intercom, he’s completely shut me out. “Miss Parker needs to be shown from my office.”

The ground all but drops under me, and the magazine falls from of my hand, landing on the floor. I’m searching my mind to understand why he’s so quick to stop fighting for us, when Neil opens the office door.

Micah picks up his phone and turns his back to me. “Darius. What’s up?”

I can’t recall leaving Micah’s office or if Neil said anything to me. I can’t even remember returning to the elevator. And I certainly don’t know how I ended up in my office. But then I’m walking through the door, feeling like a ghost floating through time.

Liv’s sitting behind her desk. “Good news,” she says. “James sent us some new clients.” She looks away from her monitor to me and her eyes go wide. “Whoa. Are you okay?”

“I’m…” I pause, inhale deeply, and then I refuse to let emotion cloud me. “I’m fine.” I want answers. Now. “Can you give me a few minutes?”

“Yeah, okay, sure.” She hurries out of our office, shutting the door behind her.

I move to my desk, picking up the phone, dialing Darius’s cellphone, hoping he’s ended his call with Micah. Thankfully, he answers on the second ring. “What is the DC?” I bark at him. “How is Micah involved in it? And what the hell are you doing owning a sex club?”

A pause.

A long pause.

Then my half-brother’s voice turns ice cold. “Take this as the warning it is, little sister. Stay away from things you don’t want to know.”

The phone line goes dead.

“Fuck.” I slam my phone down on my desk.

Some women might hide under the blankets and cry over their broken hearts. Others might run to the tabloids and burn Micah, spilling the secrets he’s kept hidden. Maybe some women might even tuck their tail beneath their legs, hoping Micah eventually misses them so much, he finally opens his heart to them.

Micah should already know better. I’m not that girl.

I want answers.

And I’m going to get them.

—

The full moon is glowing in the night sky when I exit the cab with Liv, staring at the sign, O’Keefe’s. When Liv told me what I needed was a girls’ night out to fix my mood, I set the beginnings of my plan in motion, saying we should go to the the popular Irish pub. Micah’s friend Gabe owns this pub, and I’m hoping meeting him will help me understand Micah better.

“Come on, girl. Hot Irish men await us.” Liv laughs, grabbing my arm, tugging me forward.

I’m not laughing. My head hurts. My thoughts are spiraling out of control. I want to hate Micah. I should hate him for how he treated me today. But I can’t turn off my heart like that. And apparently, my heart wants Micah, even more than I knew. I can’t really recall when I became so sure about him, but clearly I did.

Now I can’t look back.

Liv keeps her arm linked with mine, leading me into the pub. The second the upbeat folk music flows over me, I exhale deeply. The wave of loud chatter from the crowd around the bar engulfs me. Here, everyone is carefree and happily drunk, and I discover that’s a blissful relief.

I give in to the moment when Liv stops by an open space at the bar. I notice a pretty brunette tending to the customers, as well as a drop-dead gorgeous guy, complete with hazel bedroom eyes. Tall and fit, around Micah’s age. I’m wondering if this could be Gabe. I bite my lip, sorting through the thousand questions I want to ask him, and stay behind Liv as she orders us drinks.

People are everywhere, either dancing at the back with the band, or standing around the bar, drinking their night away. The folk band is playing a catchy beat and my foot begins to tap along with the drums.

“Hello.”

I turn toward the deep, smooth voice, spotting an athletic man in his late twenties. His emerald green eyes have a slight angle and his smile holds charm. But he’s not Micah, my heart reminds me. “Hi,” I say.