Sons of Fortune

“It appears that there are several avenues left open to you, and most of them in my view are a complete waste of time. You could, for example, apply for a discharge on the grounds of an injury sustained in action. If we went down that path you would end up with a small pension, and be out of here in about six months—after your spell as a warrant officer you don’t need to be told how long the paperwork would take. You could, of course, as you suggested, complete your service here at the academy, but do I really want a cripple on my staff?” the colonel asked with a grin, as his aide entered the room with a tray of piping hot coffee and two cups. “You could on the other hand take up some other posting, in a more friendly environment, like Honolulu, but I don’t expect you need to go that far to find yourself a dancing girl. But whatever I have to offer,” he once again glanced down at Nat’s file, “you would still only end up clicking your heels for another year. So now I need to ask you a question, Nat. What had you planned to do, once you’d completed your two years?”

“Return to college, sir, and continue with my studies.”

“Exactly what I thought you’d say,” said the colonel, “so that’s exactly what you’re going to do.”

“But the new term starts next week,” said Nat, “and as you pointed out, the paperwork alone…”

“Unless you were to sign up for another six years, then you might find that the paperwork moves surprisingly quickly.”

“Sign up for another six years?” repeated Nat in disbelief. “I was hoping to get out of the army, not stay in it.”

“And you will,” said the colonel, “but only if you sign up for six years. You see, with your qualifications, Nat,” he added as he stood up and began to pace around the room, “you can immediately apply for any course of higher education and what’s more, the army will pay for it.”

“But I already have a scholarship,” Nat reminded his commanding officer.

“I’m well aware of that, it’s all in here,” said the colonel, looking down at the open file in front of him. “But the university doesn’t offer you a captain’s pay to go with it.”

“I would be paid to go to college?” said Nat.

“Yes, you would receive a full captain’s pay, plus an added allowance for an overseas posting.”

“An overseas posting? But I’m not applying for a place at the University of Vietnam—I want to return to Connecticut, and then go on to Yale.”

“And so you will, because the regulations state that if, and only if, you have served abroad, in a war sector, and, I quote,” the colonel turned another page in his file, “then an application for advanced education will be given the same status as your last posting. I’ve decided I now love lawyers,” said the colonel, looking up, “because, can you believe it, they’ve come up with something even better.” Tremlett sipped his coffee while Nat remained silent. “Not only will you receive your full captain’s salary as well as an overseas allowance,” the colonel continued, “but because of your injury, at the end of six years, you will automatically be discharged, when you will qualify for a captain’s pension.”

“How did they ever get that through Congress?” asked Nat.

“I don’t suppose they worked out that anyone would qualify in all four categories at the same time,” replied the colonel.

“There has to be a downside,” said Nat.

“Yes, there is,” said the colonel gravely, “because even Congress has to cover its backside.” Once again, Nat didn’t bother to hold him up. “First, you will have to return to Fort Benning every year for two weeks’ intensive training to bring you up to scratch.”

“But I’d enjoy that,” said Nat.

“And at the end of the six years,” said the colonel, ignoring the interruption, “you will remain on the active list until your forty-fifth birthday, so in the event of another war, you could be called up.”

“That’s it?” said Nat in disbelief.

“That’s it,” repeated the colonel.

“So what do I have to do next?”

“Sign all six documents that the lawyers have prepared, and we’ll have you back at the University of Connecticut by this time next week. By the way, I’ve already spoken to the provost, and he tells me that they’re looking forward to seeing you next Monday. He asked me to inform you that the first lecture begins at nine o’clock. Sounds a bit late to me,” he added.

“You even knew how I would respond, didn’t you?” said Nat.

“Well, I admit,” said Tremlett, “that I did think you would consider it a better alternative to brewing my coffee for the next twelve months. By the way, are you sure you won’t join me?” the colonel asked, as he poured himself a second cup.

“Will you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife?” intoned the bishop of Connecticut.

“I will,” said Jimmy.

“Will you take this man to be your lawful wedded husband?”

“I will,” said Joanna.

“Will you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife?” repeated the bishop.