Sons of Fortune

“What could possibly be more significant than that?”

“The fact that we’re going to have a baby.”

Jimmy threw his arms around his wife. “When did that happen?”

“I don’t know the exact moment, but I stopped taking the pill a while ago once I was convinced you’d graduate.”

“That’s wonderful. Come on, let’s share the news with our guests.”

“You say a word, and I’ll plant this knife in you instead of the cake. Mind you, I always knew it was a mistake to marry a freshman with red hair.”

“I bet the baby has red hair.”

“Don’t be too sure, freshman, because if you mention it to anyone, I’ll tell them I’m not certain who the father is.”

“Ladies and gentlemen,” said Jimmy, as his wife raised the knife, “I have an announcement to make.” The room fell silent. “Joanna and I are going to have a baby.” The silence continued for a moment, before the five hundred guests broke into spontaneous applause.

“You’re dead, freshman,” said Joanna, as she plunged the knife into the cake.

“I knew that the moment I met you, Mrs. Gates, but I think we should have at least three children before you finally kill me.”

“Well, Senator, you’re about to become a grandfather,” said Ruth. “My congratulations. I can’t wait to be a grandmother, although I suspect it will be some time before Anni

e has her first child.”

“She won’t even consider it until she’s graduated, would be my bet,” said Harry Gates, “especially when they find out what I have planned for Fletcher.”

“Is it possible that Fletcher might not fall in with your plans?” suggested Ruth.

“Not as long as Jimmy and I continue to make him feel that it was always his idea in the first place.”

“Don’t you think by now he might just have worked out what you’re up to?”

“He’s been able to do that since the day I met him at the Hotchkiss versus Taft game nearly a decade ago. I knew then he was capable of raising the bar far higher than I ever could.”

The senator placed an arm around Ruth. “However, there’s one problem I may need your help with.”

“And what’s that?” asked Ruth.

“I don’t think Fletcher has made up his mind yet if he’s a Republican or a Democrat, and I know how strongly your husband…”

“Isn’t it wonderful news about Joanna?” said Fletcher to his mother-in-law.

“Sure is,” said Martha, “Harry’s already counting the extra votes he’ll pick up once he becomes a grandfather.”

“What makes him so confident of that?” asked Fletcher.

“Senior citizens are the fastest growing section of the electorate, so it must be worth at least a percentage point for the voters to see Harry wheeling a stroller everywhere.”

“And if Annie and I have a child, will that be worth another percentage point?”

“No, no,” said Martha, “it’s all in the timing. Just try to remember that Harry will be up for reelection again in two years’ time.”

“Do you think we should plan the birth of our first child simply to coincide with the date of Harry’s next election?”

“You’d be surprised how many politicians do,” replied Martha.

“Congratulations, Joanna,” said the senator, giving his daughter-in-law a hug.