Since the cabin is effectively a crime scene, Silas books us a suite at the ski resort in Gatlinburg. Normally, I’d be in awe of the enormous bed and massive jacuzzi tub, but emotionally I still feel like wreckage washed-up on the shore.
Now that Silas knows I lied to him he’ll never trust me again.
We had to surrender our blood-stained clothes as evidence, but there’s still plenty of dried blood under our fingernails. Silas runs me a bath, scenting the water with a few drops of lavender oil, compliments of the resort. I expect him to leave me to it, but instead, he sheds his clothes. The involuntary ache between my legs upon seeing him naked fills my chest with regret.
What if this is the last time I’ll ever get this close to him?
He undresses me like I’m a child incapable of removing her own snowsuit, then helps me into the tub. We sit together in the warm, scented water, my back to his front. Using a washcloth, he bathes me, making sure to scrub the dried blood from under my fingernails. Once I’m good and clean, he begins to wash himself, careful not to disrupt the dressing the paramedics applied to his temple.
When he’s finished, he cradles me like a baby, and that’s exactly how I feel. Small and helpless in my Daddy’s arms.
“How long has your dad had the rifle you used tonight?” he asks.
I clear the tightness from my throat. “For as long as I can remember. We weren’t allowed to use it, though. He said it belonged to a friend.”
“What made you choose to use it tonight?”
I shrug one shoulder. “It looked like it would do the job.”
He chortles. “You know, that rifle’s the same make and model as the one your dad took from me.”
My tears join the bathwater. “I guess you’ll be taking it back now.”
He sees my tears and shifts us so that I’m straddling his lap. Even skin to skin, I’ve never felt farther away from him than I do at this moment.
“It’s okay, Norah,” he says. “It’s gonna be all right.”
“No, it’s not,” I sob. “I’ve ruined everything.”
“What have you ruined?”
“Us.” I suck in a ragged breath. “I ruined us. I lied to you, and now you’re going to leave and never come back, just like you left my dad.”
Silas shakes his head and kisses me, catching my sobs in his mouth. His tongue strokes mine. I melt against him, inhaling his exhales and wishing he’d hold me forever and never let go. He kisses me until I’m breathless, then pulls back, his eyes searching mine.
“Look at me, Norah. I used to think that what your dad did to me was unforgivable. When he came to my father’s funeral, with you and your mom, he tried to apologize, but I wouldn’t listen. I got in my car and drove off, just like I did to you the night we met.” He cradles my face in his wet hands. “I would give anything to go back to that afternoon and listen to what Jack had to say.”
I don’t remember much from that day. Just bits and pieces. People in dark clothing standing around a living room. My dad’s nervous chatter. My mom getting a call and taking me outside so she could answer her phone. I got grass stains all over my feet, and my mom got mad at me.
“That was your dad’s funeral?” I ask. “I don’t remember seeing you.”
“I saw you,” he says. “And it kills me to think that by not letting Jack apologize, I missed out on years of knowing you.”
Silas runs his hands up and down my arms, then skims them across my breasts. The gesture is arousing even through my sadness. I let my head fall back as he strokes my nipples, the occasional tear still trailing down my neck. His touch is so tender it tickles, but I relish it. Even as I can’t help feeling like I don’t deserve to be coddled. Not after everything.
“I wish I’d known you before,” I whisper.
“Me, too,” he says. “I keep thinking that if I’d been in the picture sooner, you wouldn’t have dated Brody. And if you hadn’t dated him, then he wouldn’t have had a reason to rob your bank. You see where I’m going with this, don’t you?”
“I think so.” I close my eyes. “You’re saying my dad would still be alive if I hadn’t dated Brody.”
“That’s only half of it, sweetheart. I’m saying that if I hadn’t let my stubbornness keep me away from you, you wouldn’t have felt the need to date anyone else. Because you would’ve had my love from the beginning.”
I bury my face in his neck. I can only imagine the different paths my life would have taken if I’d had Silas there to love and protect me from day one. A guy like Brody never would’ve stood a chance against a love like that. Whether or not Silas could have controlled himself and waited until I was legally old enough, is another story. Knowing me, I wouldn’t have made it easy for him to be patient.
I’d have done everything in my power to make him crack.
His mouth finds mine. I feel his hard cock rise between my legs as our tongues mingle. I want so desperately for him to fuck me until I forget the day’s events, but I have to know where we’ll stand once morning comes.