“We’re leaving? Together?” she asks, her expression changing on a dime as her eyes shoot open, full of hope.
“Yes. Together,” I confirm. “Just wait for me right here.”
“I won’t go anywhere. I promise…Daddy.”
Just as I go to put my hand on the knob my muscles tighten at the way she addresses me. “And I’m not going anywhere in this world, without you by my side.”
“Promise.”
“One hundred percent…just like the score I’m putting down for your exam today.”
She smiles and winks at me, her playful girlish behavior on full display. And as soon as we get out of here there’s going to be a lot more on display, of my little princess. A lot.
3
Alexa
I wipe my face with the back of my arm and sit down on the floor of Professor Smith’s office. I can’t even sit in his chair because I might fall over right now.
I studied all night to pass this exam and here I am passing another ‘exam’ from him, the kind I’ve been wanting to take all semester. How could an inexperienced little girl like me satisfy this man who has more worldly experience than I do in my tiny pinky finger? And part of that experience is judgement, which he relied on in deciding not to take me right here and now, even though I was ready. Even though I wanted it.
I shake my head from left to right, wanting him to get back here as soon as possible so I don’t wake up and find out this is a dream in every way. He even asked me to call him Daddy, which is exactly what I want him to be for me.
I was ashamed to admit the weird thoughts rushing around in my head and here it turns out it’s exactly what he wants to hear, and to hear this word from me.
I smile wider than the Cheshire cat, and my cheeks nearly crack when I hear a knock on the door.
I spring to my feet and jerk the door open, only for my ear to ear grin to immediately flip upside down and sag to the floor.
“I was told I’d find you here.”
“What are you doing here?” I ask my mom, completely shocked that she’s suddenly taken any interest in my education beyond what it might be able to do for her.
“What am I doing here? What the hell do you think I’m doing here? I’m making sure you pass that test so your life amounts to something so you can make real money and help your mother out.”
Just as I expected, it’s all about her. I do want to help my mom out, but I think she’d be better served by a change in her mental space than more money in her bank account.
“I…I did fine, mom. Thanks for asking.”
“Good, then we can go. There are dishes that need doing, a toilet that needs scrubbing, and a dinner that ain’t gonna cook itself.”
“My teacher told me to wait for him here,” I stand my ground.
“You said you passed the test. What more use could you have here? What more could there be to say? What more could he need?”
If only she knew.
“Wait a second!” she calls out so loudly that I’m worried others are going to hear. “How did you pass that test?”
“I studied all night, mom. You saw me.”
“You little whore! I should have known,” she screeches, grabbing me by the hair before I have time to dig my fingernails into anything close enough to try and hold on tight. “You sucked that man’s cock for a passing grade, didn’t you.”
I refrain from yelling out that if I had, which I didn’t, I would have done it only after learning it by watching her train wreck of a life unfold for the last eighteen years.
Dragging me through the halls kicking and screaming I finally give in, needing to display some sort of dignity as I leave the place I’ve studied the last four years. I’m not popular by any measure, but the last thing I need is to suddenly become just that for an incident like this…especially when I’ve officially passed and all that’s left to do is walk in my cap and gown. And walking starts right now, as I try and straighten myself out, despite the fact that I look like one of those actors in a V-8 commercial from the 80’s before they had their V-8 for the day, my body at an angle as my mom won’t let go of my hair.
And up the hallway it’s clear to see some of my classmates just won’t stop laughing, or taking pictures of me, surely posting them to social media and tagging them so everyone can see.