“Listen, little one,” I say, kneeling down so I’m at her level. “No self-deprecation, that’s the first rule.”
“First rule?”
“That’s right. Self-talk is one of the most important things in life, and from now on you only talk about yourself in a positive way.”
“Not exactly the easiest thing to do when your mother dies giving birth to you and your dad basically stops caring for himself in every way possible from that moment forward.”
“That’s not your fault. Your dad wasn’t blaming you, he just couldn’t deal with the loss. He was the same way when his mother died.”
“How do you know about his mother? As a matter of fact, how do you even know about my dad?”
“Your dad’s mother, your grandmother, basically adopted me the first time I came over to your dad’s house. Like you, my mother died during childbirth, or shortly thereafter. The coroner wasn’t exactly sure based on the amount of crack they found in her system, they found me lying next to a dumpster, which shielded me from the wind and the rain that night,” I reveal, letting her in on some of my past.
“You’re joking me?” she says, her mouth open wide. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”
“No one did until I just told you. I never even told your dad because I never wanted anyone to feel sorry for me, as no one should.” I pause. “Listen Hannah. You haven’t had the easiest life, I can put the puzzle pieces together and figure that out. But you’re not doing yourself any favors by making it more challenging. Moving forward I’m not going to allow that. I’m going to instill rules and demand your obedience to those rules so your mind will transition away from the victim mindset into one of strength. I need a strong woman by my side and I know you have it in you. I know you’re that woman. It’s just going to take some time, but we’ll get through it, princess.”
“Henry, you’ve got this situation wrong. There are no rules and nothing long term. You have your life and I’m…well, I’m figuring mine out as I go. That’s not your concern, but what is important to you, and me, is that I show you respect. I can’t just barge into your life, even though I kind of already did. But I promise you that’s not what this is about. I just need somewhere to stay until I can get on my feet again, and the bigger city here will offer me more opportunities than the podunk town where I was living. I just need a couple weeks and I’ll be out of your hair.”
I just shake my head through the whole thing.
“You don’t get it, angel. I’m not giving up on you and this isn’t a short term thing. You’re afraid to fully trust in someone because when you have it hasn’t worked out for you. I get it, because I felt the same way. We think it’s better to hold back, to keep ourselves too busy so we don’t have to feel. We think we’re a burden to those around us because that’s what we’ve been shown since the moment we came into this world, when really all we needed was a good role-model to show us the way and keep our feet to the fire when we get off the path.” I pause. “I know it’s hard to imagine the future when you’re stuck in the past, but that’s what needs to happen…you have to let go of the past and embrace these rules, this experience that I can provide. Listen, I’m not saying I’m perfect. Good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgment. I’ve made every mistake in the book, and I’m here to make sure those lessons aren’t lost, to make sure you don’t make the same ones.”
She nods.
“This is for your own good, ok?”
Another nod.
“I need you to answer me with words, not just gestures.”
“Ok…” she says, but pauses, as if something’s stuck on her tongue.
“Ok what? We need to address each other with respect, and how the other person…wants to be addressed.” I swallow hard, still not sure what I’m asking for but knowing that it’s something. Something is missing and I just can’t quite put my finger on it until…
“Ok…Daddy.”
Every muscle in my body tightens and my dick jerks violently in my pants. I’m so hard I have to stand up straight as the hand-sewn fabric in my trousers audibly starts to give way there. And the fabric is not sewn hastily. I’ve never been so hard in my entire life, and I’ve never come close to ripping a pair of trousers before. Definitely not the more common area for breakage, and absolutely not the zipper area, which is still straining now despite my back being straight and standing at my full six foot five inch height.
“Did I say something wrong?” she asks.
“No…you said exactly the right thing.” I try and get my bearings but my head is spinning. “Instead of trick-or-treating I have another idea, one where we won’t have to confront people who don’t get it the rest of the night.”
“What idea is that, Daddy?” she says, addressing me in a way I suddenly need to be addressed.
It’s like a hibernating bear has woken inside me and that bear is never so much as taking a nap, let alone stuffing itself in a cave for a winter, ever again.
“Don’t you worry, little one. Daddy’s here to take care of you. You don’t have to worry about a thing…ever again.”
6
Hannah
We walk for a good ten minutes until we reach a house that looks entirely run-down, standing out like a sore thumb in this neighborhood…until I hear screams, pounding, and the sound of chainsaws and see a line of people wrapped around the base of it.
“Is this a haunted house?”
Henry nods, and I clap my hands together furiously.