“Guess she thought it’d be better to make me spend my life wondering if it was something I did.”
Mason’s gaze softened. “No, Jett. None of it was ever your fault.”
I studied his handsome yet guarded expression, growing more and more impatient. When he didn’t move to elaborate, I pressed.
“Then, why did you go?”
He sighed heavily. “I’m sorry, but I can’t say anything other than that it was the only thing I could do, given the circumstances.”
“What does that even mean?”
“It means it’s not my story to tell. Your mother’s had a hard life, Jett. She doesn’t like to talk about it, and I’ve done my best to respect that.”
“What about my life? Do you think it’s been easy for me, going through life thinking my father abandoned me?”
“No, I don’t. And I’ll go to the grave feeling sorry for the pain I caused you. But if Gretchen wanted you to know why, she’d have told you.”
I couldn’t believe I’d come all this way just to slam headfirst into a brick wall.
“But it is your story. Half of it, at least. Why can’t you just tell me?”
“Because I made a promise, and I’m a man of my word.”
My chair creaked as I slumped against it. The sad, hurt little girl inside me shouted to keep pushing, keep arguing, but the finality in his tone made me bite my tongue. Whatever his reasons for leaving, he wasn’t going to share them. I was used to this kind of withholding from my mother. I’d hoped Mason would be more forthcoming. No such luck.
“I know that’s not the answer you hoped for,” he said, “but it’s the only one I can give you. Sometimes it’s better to let the past stay buried.”
Easy to say when you’re the one who buried it, I thought.
Mason slid his hand across the table toward me.
“Jett, I can’t tell you how sorry I am for taking off. You deserve an explanation, and it kills me that I can’t give you one. I understand if you don’t want to hear this, but I need you to know that, regardless of whether or not you’re my daughter, I’ve never stopped loving you.”
My stomach dropped into my Doc Martens. I didn’t want to believe him. At the same time, I knew it was possible to love someone long after they’d disappeared. I wasn’t sure how I could still love Mason after all the lies and missed birthdays and Christmases, but I did.
If I could love him after everything he’d missed, then perhaps it was possible that a part of him still loved me, too.
“Can you at least tell me where you’ve been, Mason?” Unlike the title Dad, his name felt awkward in my mouth, like a misshapen candy.
“I did some traveling after The Family series took off. But for the most part I’
ve just been here in New York, working.”
“Working so hard you couldn’t find one free weekend to come see me? Or five spare minutes to make a call?”
“I know how it looks, Jett, but—”
“But you made a promise.”
He slid his hand back to his side of the table.
“I did. And part of that promise involved keeping my distance.”
“So, what the hell changed? Why is it okay for me to visit you now? Enlighten me, because I’m having a hard time understanding why you suddenly give a shit.”
“I’ve always given a shit, Jett. My leaving didn’t change that. What changed is that you’re old enough to make your own decisions. You chose to come here. I think that should count for something, don’t you?”
“I came because I want answers.”