Dear Daddy (Yes, Daddy 11)

I make my way inside the school, one of the few people that’s there by themselves, but it doesn’t bother me. I just smile, knowing I might be entering myself, but I’m not leaving here today alone. Never again will that happen, like it did yesterday when I left San Quentin. Then again she was with me along this entire journey of freedom, whether she was there physically or not.

I climb up the seats in the gym, which is being used for today’s graduation. Quickly, my eyes scan the floor as if I’m in the prison yard looking to see who might have a shank. I guess that’s one ‘positive’ that I can take with me. I’m always on alert and my eyes can spot a needle in a haystack. But with all the graduates wearing caps and gowns, and facing the opposite direction, it’s going to take a miracle to find her…

Until her personality shines through.

There, on the top of her cap, it’s written, in glitter of course, ‘Word Puzzle Winners.’ It’s her, it has to be. And not only because she’s giving me a clue, an inside joke into what we did together, but because I also see that long, flowing hair of hers, like fields of barley.

I watch as her cap moves from side to side as she scans the crowd on either side of her, but not behind where I’m sitting. Then, just as I go to stand, she turns and our eyes lock. I’m the only one standing, or a least I think because I’m not looking at anyone or anything else. I just feel my height amongst the other people in the stands here today to show their support for the graduates. But, ironically, it’s her support for me that’s made the most difference in the world today.

She’s so damn thoughtful, giving, perfect…and mine.

Her eyes light up and my chest swells so big I almost pop the buttons on my suit. Raising her little hand which is engulfed by the sleeve of a robe that’s clearly too big, she waves. And for the first time in my life, I wave back. It’s not a body movement I’m accustomed to, at all. But I’m also absolutely in foreign territory when it comes to everything about her. She makes me feel things I’ve never felt. She causes me to do things I would have considered effeminate before. But when it comes to her it feels natural, right, and I somehow feel even more manly for it…because it p

uts a smile on her face and makes me feel exactly like the kind of man she needs, the Daddy she’s never had and will never want for ever again.

Damn, my Little Girl is so perfect and tailor made for me and me alone, just as I am for her.

“If you’ll please take your seats,” someone says from the podium up front, yet the thought of sitting down doesn’t even cross my mind. Standing, showing my princess the kind of respect she deserves whenever I’m sharing the same airspace with her, is all that’s on my mind, not that it requires any conscious thought.

The announcer clears his throat and my hips fold backward and I sit, never taking my eyes off her. She waves one more time and quickly turns to the front, and even from this distance I can see her bouncing in her seat.

And it’s only then I see everyone around me staring and realizing I’m bouncing my own foot on the bleachers, causing a loud disturbance. I knock it off as quickly as I can, my body acting sporadically at the way she responded to me, reaffirming that she’s just as happy to see me as I am to see her.

I get lost in time until I hear the announcer call out the name “Josephine”. I don’t even catch her last name as I watch her stand and move to accept her diploma. I shoot up out of my seat and whistle louder than anyone else in here could ever dream of. Whistling is another way of communicating in my former life in prison, and once again I’m served by something from my past…the one she literally saved me from and kept from becoming my dreadful future. Now, my future is one thing and one thing alone.

Her.

Scratch that.

Us. Because I’m putting a baby in her belly as soon as humanly possible. I’m not wasting a single second in making her tummy round with my child, letting the whole world know she’s taken and making up for lost time.

And speaking of time, there’s a man at a forty-five degree angle from me who’s checking the time on his watch while the woman he’s with gives a polite golf clap for Josephine. I don’t know why, but something tells me these are her parents. Maybe it’s because the woman is eyeing me with disgust, but it doesn’t matter. I don’t care. I’m not here for them. I’m here to support my little girl.

Even for a smaller school, time drags as they announce all the graduates. Finally, when it’s over, the graduates throw their caps in the air and I rush down toward the floor, beelining it to my princess.

Not thirty seconds later she’s literally jumping into my arms and I can’t resist, claiming her mouth in front of the world.

“Uh hum,” someone clears their throat behind me. I continue kissing her, her sweet, plump bee stung lips pulling me in like a magnet. Whoever’s trying to interrupt us, clears their throat a few more times until finally I turn and acknowledge the idiot who’s trying to take my attention from the angel who quite literally saved my life.

“And who might you be?” her mother asks, her eyes raking over me suspiciously.

“Please tell me a college admissions officer or someone in charge of hiring at some big company,” her stepfather quickly quips.

“I’m the one who recognizes the true worth of this treasure you’ve failed to nurture, respect, and honor.”

“You some kind of white knight with that talk,” her stepfather says.

I feel Josi’s legs clench around my waist even tighter. She’s scared, but the good news is by clenching my waist it makes it easier to do what I need to do next.

Squaring myself to her stepfather and cupping her bottom with the other hand, I take my right hand and grab him by the collar, yanking his face inches from mine.

“Now you listen here and you listen good,” I snarl. “You had your chance to do what’s right and you failed…over and over and over again. If you so much as try and track her down or bother us in any way I won’t fail…in kicking your ass so bad you’ll be eating through a straw for a year. Do I make myself clear?”

He nods.

“Good. And don’t forget it,” I add, before shoving him away from me. I don’t want him anywhere near either of us.

“Honey,” her mom adds.