Fallen University: Year Three

His eyes lit up, and he kissed me. I could feel the grin on his lips. “Honestly, I’d settle for cooked meat, but tofu sounds excellent.”

We made camp, then the dragon and hellhound went about the business of filling their bellies. I watched them go, and the sadness settled over me like a thick, prickly blanket. They were both so far outside of their comfort zones, and it was all my fault. Jayce, the life-affirming, beautiful soul, reduced to a base hunter. Kingston, the affluent, aristocratic businessman, forced to hike through miles and miles of nothing, foraging for survival. It was all my fault. If I hadn’t bonded with them—

“Hey.”

The deep voice dragged me from my thoughts, and when I looked up, Kai was at my side.

I blinked. I’d wandered away from camp and hadn’t even noticed. His intense eyes burned as he searched my face. Lifting his hand, he tenderly brushed my dark hair behind my ear and stroked my cheek.

“You’re not okay,” he said quietly.

“I’m fi—”

“We’re lying to each other now?”

I swallowed against the lump in my throat and looked down at my feet. Gently, firmly, he lifted my chin until I met his eyes once more.

“What’s on your mind, Pipes?”

“I just—” God, the words were sticking in my throat. “I just feel so guilty.”

He frowned, looking confused. “Guilty? About what?”

I fought back the tears that had been threatening all week, looking up at the sky. A bitter laugh smothered the howling wail demanding to be released from my aching chest. I took a deep breath, dragging myself under control.

“It isn’t all about Xero, you know. I act like I’m all noble in coming here to find him,” I said harshly. “But if I don’t get him back, I’m going to die. And if I’d left any of you at home, back on earth where you were safe, I wouldn’t have survived this rescue mission even this far. All of you are in danger because of me. Fuck. How self-serving is that?” I hugged myself tightly, hurt by my own words. “You all let me drag you through literal hell so I can feel better. So that I can live.”

I expected him to agree with me, to tell me how selfish I was. A more rational part of me expected him to reassure me with platitudes that wouldn’t really mean anything just because he was under my spell.

What I didn’t expect him to do was pull me into his arms and kiss me deeply, but that’s exactly what he did. He wasn’t pouring into me, he wasn’t feeding me, he was just—kissing me.

As our lips parted, he touched his forehead to mine. “Is that the only reason you’re here, Piper? Did you spend two months walking through the underworld just to save your own skin?”

I shook my head, tears slipping down my cheeks. “No. He needs me.”

“Yes, he does.” Kai kissed my forehead and pulled away. His gaze was soft as he regarded me. Then he sighed. “I should have told you this before. Before everything. Before the rebar, even.”

I let a whisper of a chuckle slide from my throat. That goddamned rebar. None of this would have happened if one idiot hadn’t fucked up in Combat class and sent a piece of metal through my damn stomach, nearly killing me.

“I’ve always liked you, Piper. From th

e moment you walked through the doors of FU, I wanted to get to know you better. I knew you were like me in a lot of ways. Defiant. Protective. Full of history that was no one’s business but your own.”

I let a small smile pull at my mouth. Well, he’s got me there.

Keeping one arm wrapped around me, he ran the fingers of his other hand over my hair, smoothing the wild, dark strands.

“That was why I came to you when you were hurt. It wasn’t magic, not at first. I liked you, and I wanted you to be okay. And I couldn’t acknowledge those feelings afterward—or even believe that they were true—because of the magic.”

I pulled away and met his gaze.

“That’s exactly what I mean,” I blurted. “It’s not like you guys have a choice. You’re literally stuck with me.”

He shrugged. “That was how I felt at first. Like I had no choice but to be completely infatuated with you. I don’t like feeling like I don’t have a say in my destiny. You know that. Hell, the Custodians know that. There’s a reason I hid from them for so long. Once you and I were bonded, I started feeling like my feelings were being forced by the magic.”

Yeah. I had always been afraid of that. I swallowed hard, not really wanting to know the answer to the question I was about to ask.

“And now?”