You’ve sucked a cock before.
No, I’ve never done anything like this before. I’ve never been touched by a man before. The only person that ever made me think I wanted to was Magnus, and in that second as I think of him and my mom, I shoot out of the chair, my back ram-rod straight. Not away from Eddie but toward him, the heels of both my palms smashing him in the center of his chest with all my might.
It’s exactly the opposite of anything he’d been expecting, and it catches him off guard. He’s stunned, off balance, his hands still down at the front of his pants. He struggles to right himself but the force of my unexpected assault topples him flat back onto the desk.
“Fucking bitch.” He spits as his arms flail around to re-gain his balance, spilling his coffee mug and the iPad onto the floor.
“You’re a jerk!” I scream, stomping my foot as hard as I can on top of his black loafer. “Suck your own stupid self!”
Even as the words come out, I realize I’m bad at this. I can’t even insult someone properly.
I throw myself at the door of the office tugging it open and break into a half run down the short hallway toward the back door, my eyes burning as the first angry, desperate tear burns its way down my cheek. I hate feeling so alone. Being an adult sucks more and more as time goes on.
Outside the back door a cold gust catches me. My skirt flies up, my hair tangles in my face spinning it into my gaping mouth. I scratch at it, trying open it in front of my eyes. I need to see where to go, and then it dawns on me I have nowhere to go.
Nowhere to go.
I start to laugh and cry at the same time, my body shaking with cold and fear and desperation. This is my life; this is all I have left. Eddie knows he can screw me any way he wants and there isn’t a thing I can do about it.
I can’t even get a bus back to the roach motel. My purse is still inside and I have no money on me. Not that there is much more in my purse anyway. Seven dollars and sixteen cents, and that’s only if you count the penny I found outside the motel this morning.
“Somebody help me.” I choke out the words as I stand in the back parking lot, spitting my hair out of my mouth while my brain spins inside my head. “I have no job, nowhere to live, no car, no family. Nothing.” I scream toward the sky no longer caring if anyone is watching or listening.
I’m still pinching the hair out of my eyes and off my wet cheeks when I hear the hum of a car engine moving closer. I’m standing, looking stupid in the middle of the parking lot. Whoever it is can go around me and leave me to my misery.
When I finally get my hair under control, the car engine is right behind me, it’s more a rumble than a hum now and I’m ready to spit nails and tell whomever happened across my path they picked the wrong gosh darn day to mess with me. I’ve got nothing to lose.
I’ve got nothing.
I flip my head around to see a black, vintage Charger, no more than a foot from me. The engine is vibrating the asphalt under my feet and I the heat is billowing from the chrome grill.
“You’ve got the whole parking lot!” I wave my hands around in an arc like a mad woman. “Go around me!” I yell and stomp, indicating all the empty space as I square my shoulders, my hands turning to fists at my sides. I know I look ridiculous, my righteous fury offset by my pink sweater and ruffled skirt not to mention the lime green ribbon that, until a minute ago, was tied neatly on top of my hair.
Any second I expect to hear Eddie’s voice as he comes out of the back door to taunt me. I know that somehow I have to get back in there to retrieve my purse if I want to ever leave this parking lot.
My madness turns inward and I spin away from the automobile, my right shoulder tightening up to meet my ear, my throat closing. The silent tears that stained my cheeks take a turn.
Biting my tongue, I do what I can to hold back the sobs that start somewhere in my toes and wrack my body until I can no longer fight them. The sounds that burst out of me here in the open air sound like every painful moment in my life balled into a fist and punched into my gut, the sound of it all coming out of me like a trapped animal.
I’m at the mercy of the clutching sobs and my vision is so blurred I put my hands out in front of me as I walk back toward the rear entrance of the store. Somehow I have to get my purse; I have to be strong enough to at least walk back in there.
If I have to fight him off again, so be it.
Chapter Seven
_______________________________________________
MAGNUS
I’ve been on the road for three hours to get here, and when I see her it’s not what I’d hoped. I swear to God whoever made her cry is going to die.
I never want to see this again.
Never.
Fuck, my hands feel like they’re going to tear the steering wheel apart like it’s someone’s throat.
She looks so lost, so alone standing out here in a parking lot in the cold, sobbing and shouting and scared. She looks scared. My heart is trying to burst out of my chest.