“It’s okay,” I grind out through choked back sobs.
“No, it’s not. I saw them the first day I moved in. So, it’s been four weeks I’ve been here?”
I spread my fingers just enough to see her rest her arms on her knees and lower her head, then look back at me with pity in her eyes.
“Maybe I should just talk to him. Maybe it’s not...”
Michaela shakes her head, disapproval clear in her eyes, and humiliation covers me. Such a dumb girl. I waited for the man of my dreams, only to end up here with his cum still coating my panties and the knowledge that I am what I had feared.
Nothing special.
When I got into the car with Michaela, I was already bursting to tell someone about what had happened. The joy I was keeping inside. I grinned and started to talk, but soon fell silent.
I could tell from the look on her face something was wrong. She had seen the kiss, and she was struggling to find the best way to tell me what was on her mind.
When I couldn’t stop crying, she said we’d ditch going to the park. Instead, she drove me back here, to her new place, and told me more about the woman she’s seen with Ace a couple times a week here by her new apartment.
She just assumed I knew because they were clearly a couple, smiling and laughing, him opening doors for her, meeting for coffee first before disappearing off together, no doubt to somewhere more private. When I pushed her, Michaela couldn’t specifically confirm that she’d seen them kiss or anything, but she said she didn’t pay that much attention.
They just seemed loved up. That word hit me like a runaway train in an old silent movie. Cut to black. Love. Something I would never have.
“He’s never seen me watching them, I guess,” Michaela says, trying to explain why he wouldn’t be more discreet. “I can see everything from this window, all the comings and goings, and I’m so high up that nobody ever notices. She’s got a kid she sometimes brings, too.” She adds, and my stomach turns over on itself.
I look up at her, and there must be horror on my face because she quickly tries to backpedal.
“I’m not saying it’s his kid, of course. I have no idea. But he does seem friendly with the little boy. Picks him up and whatever. I don’t know, I don’t know kids. I’m just saying...” The frustration in her voice isn’t about the kid. I know she’s trying to be a friend and give me the information she thinks I need without tearing my heart out.
Too late.
When she started to tell me, I didn’t want to know. I was in denial, trying to pick up the pieces of my heart without breaking them anymore. Like an accident on the side of the road, I couldn’t look away. I just kept asking questions, and reluctantly she answered.
“What do I do?” I flop back on her worn sofa and press the heels of my palms into my burning eye sockets. I feel like I’m going to vomit.
/>
“Well, you can stay here of course, but...”
“But what? Don’t look at me like that, just tell me. If there’s more, I need to know.”
“It’s not really my place to say, Bri.”
“Michaela, please. I’m not going to break any more than I have already.”
She nods. “Okay, it’s just, he’s your guardian, Brinna. He’s supposed to take care of you, to look after you. Loco parentis and all that. Only, what he’s done is seriously fucked up. To seduce you like that—” I try to interrupt, to tell her that it was consensual, that he didn’t seduce me but I just gave myself to him, but she shoots me a look, and I fall silent. She’s heard it already, and it didn’t convince her then. “He did, Bri. You didn’t recognize it because you’re so infatuated, he has a position of power over you, but from what you told me he knew exactly what he was doing. He seduced you, all I’m saying is he’s been pretty consistent with this blonde, and you did say you sort of...you pushed yourself. He’s a man. A man of opportunity like they all are. It’s wrong, Brinna.”
“Even if that’s true, what can I do about it?”
“Go to the police.”
“And say what? We’re both adults, and we’re not related by blood. The police will laugh in my face. I’m not a minor anymore.”
She thinks for a moment, then draws in a breath. “Truth is, he’s always given me a weird vibe, I told you that. A man like him, you know I have more experience with men, and you’ve seen how it’s turned out for me. Cheaters. Liars. Users. And yes, I’ve taken a couple hits as well. More than a couple. You’ve been sheltered by him Brinna. I know. I know what it’s like out here in the real world with guys. You don’t.”
“Ace wouldn’t hurt me.”
“Wouldn’t he? How much do you really know about him? About his time before he met you? His military time, sure, but he also left. You’ve tried to ask him about the injuries, but he never answers, not properly. Just hints and insinuations. You don’t know the cause. Brinna, you don’t know him at all, not really. When you confront him with this, you don’t know what he’ll do, how his temper might flare. He became your guardian when you were sixteen. Sixteen, Brinna. He won’t know what you might do, what you might say to people. Okay, so he didn’t act on his feelings until now, but he doesn’t know that’s what you’ll tell people. You could go around saying he’d been screwing you since you met, and if that’s something he’s sensitive about, he might lose it. Maybe he did once before, and that’s really why he had to leave the army.”
“No, he’s not like that, Michaela. You know him, he’s not.” The tears are flowing again, but I need to defend Ace. He’s looked after me for so long, and I’ve loved him for so much of that time.