Eternally Devoted (Frostbite 4)

Be a normal person again?

For so long, I had refused my gifts, and hated them. I would’ve given anything for the choice I had now. As much as that held my focus, the reminder of the accident made a curious thought rise. “Before we get to that, my family…” I gulped, and then forced my voice out. “Did you see them?”

She released my hands, and her features softened. “I did.”

While I didn’t doubt her, since I figured she’d have no reason to lie to me, I still had trouble trusting how quickly she answered without any background history. “How do you know it was them?”

Her eyes twinkled as she twirled her finger within her hair. “You were with them and I remember you, because of the abilities you obtained when you left.” Her head cocked, eyebrows lifted. “Not many leave with such a gift.”

“You were there?” My chest tightened and tears, once again, filled my eyes. “You saw us?”

She nodded and said in a soft voice, “You never saw me or perhaps didn’t notice me, but yes, I’m always there.” Her eyes saddened, staring intently into mine. “When you all came here, you were peaceful and ready to move on.”

“When we—”

My mind didn’t allow me to finish. A memory struck me with such intensity I lost my breath, and apparently, a suppressed memory flooded my mind. Maybe it wasn’t a memory I could have taken with me. Not until I returned to the Netherworld and wanted to remember would the memory return. More importantly, maybe it’s why Nettie had said something, so I could remember.

“Where are we?” my twelve-year-old brother, Tanner, sobbed in my mother’s arms. “Mommy, what happened?”

My mother, dressed in her yellow sundress, wrapped her arms around Tommy, and pressed his dark brown topped head against her chest. “I’m not sure, sweetie.”

The despair in my dad’s blue eyes was obvious when he ran a hand through his black hair—his classic dad stressed move. “I…” He paused, wrapped an arm around me, and then said clearly, “I remember a car accident.”

I glanced around at my family, realizing that yes, we had been in a car accident, and clearly, we had all died. I wasn’t sure how I knew we were dead, but since we were standing on a big, fluffy cloud in the sky, I could only assume that’s what happened.

The warm air didn’t hold a breeze and there wasn’t any noise around me—everything was too silent. “Is this heaven?” I asked, noticing my body feeling lighter and colder.

Mom smiled, gazing down at the clouds at her feet before looking at me with her warm green eyes. “It must be.”

Even as she said it, I didn’t believe her. This didn’t feel like Heaven. It seemed too empty…too detached…and too cold. Before I could say as much, my thoughts were interrupted as a deep tug pulled at me from within, almost like a jolt.

I looked down to my chest and didn’t notice anything. Then, once again, a hard thump in the center of my chest brought instant awareness. As if, something deep inside gave me all the answers I needed.

Lifting my head, I regarded my family. My mother hugged my sobbing brother, and my father had inched us closer toward them. Shockingly enough, the cloud felt no different from a carpeted floor, which made me realize something was amiss.

I doubted Heaven would look like this. Perhaps I even suspected when my soul travelled on I wouldn’t be holding such coherent thoughts as I did now. I imagined a soul would feel peaceful, not endure the confusion I witnessed rushing over my parents’ faces, or the sadness my brother suffered.

In that moment, with despair etching into my soul, I realized a hard truth—I didn’t want to go with them. I didn’t want to die. I wasn’t done. I had more to do.

I stared into my mother’s eyes and looked up into my father’s soft expression. I also realized the damage it would cause my family to know I stayed behind. The agony they’d feel if we were separated. There, in my mother’s warm features, I spotted the happiness we wouldn’t have to suffer without each other.

Her family would remain as one in Heaven.

I wrapped my free arm around her, and squeezed both my parents as tight as I could, causing them to look down at me. “Let’s move on from here,” I said, even if deep in my soul I denied what had come out of my mouth. My time wasn’t over…not yet. “We can’t stay here. We have to keep moving. Together.”

“Yes, we’ll always be together,” Mom stated, and she pressed her cheek on top of Tommy’s head.

My heart clutched, and tears welled in my eyes as I faced the moment I didn’t expect to happen so soon. I had to say goodbye to the family I loved dearly. Not only did I have to say goodbye to one of them, but I had to say it to all of them. I’d never hold them again after this moment. When, and if, I woke up, it would be to discover the world as I knew it no longer existed.

“It should’ve been this way,” Dad whispered, squeezing my shoulder tight.

“Always together,” I barely managed.

As torn up as I was, now wasn’t about me, it was about them. Saving them because I knew—oddly enough—in this moment they needed me to. If that meant lying to them, then so be it.

Mom tightened her arm around me, too, and we all hugged each other. There was no noise whatsoever, not even our breaths to break through the quiet. A dead silence that wasn’t peaceful as I thought it’d be, but eerie and cold.

Tanner, who stood in the center of us, smiled his cute grin at me. “Love you, Tess.”