And the five of us are crammed into Lincoln’s car, holding onto a piece of incriminating evidence and considering bringing it to a group of dangerous criminals.
What the ever-loving fuck is my life?
“Hollowell hasn’t been scared this whole time. He’s been confident he’s got everything in hand.” Linc nods once, rolling his shoulders. His hands are still planted on the steering wheel, their grip tight. “If we do this, we can get him running scared. It’ll take him off our backs while we figure out what to do about Harlow’s mom. He won’t be able to cover his ass on both fronts at once.”
“So we just walk into a drug lord’s business front and tell him we know Hollowell’s planning on betraying him?” Chase asks. “Then step back and let the fallout happen?”
He looks like he still thinks we’re all crazy. But he must be crazy too, because he used the word “we” when he spoke, and he actually sounds like he’s considering the pros and cons of this insane plan.
“We shouldn’t all go,” I say, the words sticking in my throat. I hold out my hand to River. “Give it to me. I’ll do it.”
River doesn’t even hesitate, pulling the paper back and out of my reach. Dax and Chase both stiffen beside me as Dax’s hand tightens almost painfully on my knee, and Lincoln growls.
“Like. Fuck.”
I lean forward from the middle seat, glaring at the dark-haired boy. “Like fuck, nothing! This is about protecting my mom. I’m the one who pushed us into this, who got us in this far. I didn’t mean for everything to get so messed up, for this to get so dangerous, but I don’t have to let you—”
“Let us?” Linc’s amber eyes blaze with anger, and I can’t tell who he’s mad at—me or himself. “We forced you to come with us to a strip club where you saw Iris get killed. If you hadn’t been with us that night, Hollowell wouldn’t be blackmailing you now. We started this, Low. We’re gonna fucking finish it.” His lips press into a line. “Without you.”
“Are you kidding me?”
My voice rises in pitch and volume, but no, he’s not kidding. Still leaving the engine running, he thrusts open his door and steps out, letting a blast of cool air fill the car. A second later, he wrenches open the back driver’s side door and reaches for me.
“Sorry, Low.”
Dax’s voice is quiet and subdued as he grabs me around the waist, lifting me as Chase unclips my seatbelt. The three boys move with the coordinated precision of a machine as they grapple me out of the car despite my struggles. Linc sets me on my feet outside, and I make a move for the still-open door, but he steps in front of me, blocking my way.
I hit his chest instead, shoving against him with all my might. “Goddammit, you bastard. No. No!”
“Yes, Harlow. I’m sorry.” He grabs my wrists, wrestling my hands behind my back as I continue to try to shove my way past him, through him, to get back into the car. The door is still open, and I can feel the others watching us.
“No!” I shake my head vehemently. “You keep acting like this is something you guys caused, like you’re to blame. And I did blame you at first—I was so fucking pissed.” I push against him again, yanking at his hold on my wrists. “But you didn’t make this happen. And even if I hadn’t seen Iris die, Hollowell would still have framed my mom. He did it because it was convenient, because he knew where she’d been that night and it was easy to pin on her. This isn’t your fault, so you don’t get to go all noble and try to go off on your own and fix it!”
My breath is coming in sharp gasps. I haven’t shed a single tear—I don’t think I have any left after this morning—but my heart feels like it’s broken into four jagged pieces.
“Oh, but you do?” Linc growls, and this time, the anger in his eyes is directed at me. “A second ago, you were all ready to leave us behind and go charging off on your own, all alone, into a dangerous situation. And we were supposed to just be okay with that?”
“Yes! You were!” I tear my hands free and shove against his chest again, opening up a few feet of space between us. “Because if something happened to any of you, it would fucking kill me! I love you assholes!”
Lincoln freezes.
I glare at him for several seconds, my chest heaving and my hands clenched into fists… until it dawns on me what I just said.
Oh.
Jesus fuck.
Of all the times I’ve almost said it, have thought it and then pushed it back down, have convinced myself that it wasn’t the right time—this is really, truly the stupidest possible moment to make that declaration.
It feels like my heart stops beating, hanging motionless in my chest, as Lincoln stares at me. The three boys in the car all match his stare, and even though River can’t see Lincoln’s side of the conversation because Linc’s back is to him, he had a perfect view of my lips as I blurted the truth I’ve been trying for too long to keep contained.
I love them.
It may be stupid, it may have been forged in fire, and it may be way too fast.
But none of that really matters when held up against the simple fact that I love them. I couldn’t unlove them if I tried.
“You what?”