Broken Bond (Claimed by Wolves 2)
Page 36
“Couldn’t help but notice the way you banged out of the barn like the devil was at your heels,” she remarks when I don’t turn around.
“I needed some air.”
“Yeah. Sure.” There’s a hint of sarcasm to her voice, and it puts up my hackles.
I whirl on her, ready to give her a piece of my mind. I didn’t come out here to be bothered. I came out here to get some air and try to wipe all traces of her magic from my memory.
But when my eyes land on her… I’m doomed. She looks so small and innocent, on top of being the most beautiful ray of sunshine I’ve ever seen in my entire life. My breath catches in my throat. None of the shitty things I’m thinking come out. The only sound I’m capable of making is a small grunt of acknowledgment.
“You wanna talk about this?” Sable asks, a hint of steel in her bell-like voice.
That’s the girl I know. Soft and lovely like a summer shower, but with the backbone of a predator. Mushy on the inside with a thick armor on the outside, built up over a life of hardship so that it protects her from anything that could hurt her.
“Not really,” I reply with a shrug, then turn back to the tree line. If I keep looking at her, I just know I’ll give in. It’s like looking at the sun for too long and trying to deny the pain. So I shove down my emotions as deep as possible.
“I think you do.” There’s bluster in her tone, but a hint of sadness too. “I think you’re dying to give me a piece of your mind. Maybe if we just go ahead and have it out, we can stop with the temper tantrums.”
Defensive anger snakes through me, but I tamp it back. I have to admit, I’ve had a harder time controlling my emotions since I lost my pack. I lived too long as a wolf. But I’m not an idiot—Sable’s baiting me.
The question is, do I want to take the bait? Or walk away?
Truthfully, I’m tired as hell of harboring all these feelings. I feel like a fucking crazy person. What if talking about it would help? What if a few moments hashing out the situation with Sable is all I need to remember how deeply I was falling for her before the witch appeared?
I take a deep breath, wondering whether or not I can dig deep and be honest. Hiding my feelings is a hell of a lot easier than admitting I’m not okay.
“I don’t like it,” I finally say.
I feel her shift behind me, her feet brushing over dried grass. “Oh? My powers?”
Her tone is cautious and carefully bland, as if she knows we’re both walking through a minefield with this conversation.
“Yeah. Your powers.” I whirl around, my fingers clenching into fists as I stare her down. She’s a breath of fresh air with her silky blonde hair reflecting the heavy sunlight and her blue-gray eyes as deep and murky as a lake’s secrets. As much as I love this land, I might love her more. “I hate it. I hate all of this. I hate that I can’t separate you from the magic you possess. It’s fucking with my head, fucking with my heart, because I still want you.”
Sable blinks rapidly a few times. “Dare, you must know I would never hurt you.”
“Wouldn’t you? You don’t exactly have control over your powers,” I point out.
She looks crestfallen, and I want to punch myself in the face. I know Sable wouldn’t hurt me. The Sable I spent time with at the cabin prior to her transition wouldn’t have hurt a fly, much less hurt me. But her witch side…
She doesn’t have control.
And no matter what dinky little lessons Archer gives her, she’s never going to fully have control without a real witch to teach her, and that can never fucking happen. She could hurt us just by being near us.
“Have I ever told you about the attack on my pack?” I ask her, trying to keep the bite out of my voice. I can tell by the flush in her cheeks that I’m not successful.
“No. Tell me now.”
“The witches tested our defenses for weeks.” Every word falls from my tongue with a twinge of heartache. “My pack was on full alert. We had twenty-four-seven patrols. We knew where they were getting close, and we worked at keeping the boundaries secured. We weren’t caught off guard. We knew they were there.”
Her eyes narrow at me in the sunlight. “So what happened?”
“There were two smaller attacks. We lost less than five people, and it almost seemed laughable. Those bitches thought they could beat us?” My chuckle is bitter and full of regret. “The final attack came out of nowhere. Broad daylight. Twenty witches, maybe more. They beat our defenses, and they beat us. My pack fought bravely, but in the end, we were overpowered.”
Sable’s eyes sparkle with unshed tears. She presses her hand to her lips, but remains silent.
“Many died,” I say, letting my gaze slide past her. In the distance, the mountains look like a Hollywood backdrop. Just misty enough to not be real, but so vividly detailed they couldn’t be anything but. “Those who didn’t die—women, children, the elderly, very few people, mind you—they fled. I don’t even know where they are now. Safe, I hope.”
I let my last thought remain unspoken. How it’s been years, but I can’t forgive myself. I won’t forgive myself for allowing it to happen.