“I don’t know.” Presley sniffed, handing Cora the note. “That’s the problem.”
Cora scanned the message, then lifted her head, her typically bubbly expression now darkened. “There has to be a good reason for this. Aidan went over to Kyler’s at midnight last night, so I’m guessing they’ve found a lead or something.”
Of course—that explained Dmitri’s actions. He had left to deal with whoever was behind this leak. Still her heart ached. “Why isn’t Dmitri telling me that, the way Aidan is sharing with you?” She wiped the tears off her face. She was so damn exhausted.
“I don’t know, babe.” Cora hesitated, her eyes searching Presley’s. “But I know Dmitri, and I know there has to be a reason why he’s gone away and left only a note behind.”
“I thought I knew him, too.” Presley dropped her head into her hands and allowed herself to cry. To weep for what was happening. To sob for the future she no longer knew if she had with Dmitri. And to fall apart because of the deep sadness shattering her heart.
Cora rubbed Presley’s back comfortingly, but nothing could comfort Presley now. And when Cora said, “He loves you,” Presley’s stomach clenched.
“I’m not sure loving me is enough.” Presley lifted her head, accepting the tissue Cora handed her. She dabbed her eyes and wiped her nose. “He’s treating me really badly, Cora. Last night I had to pull my safe word on him.”
“You did?”
Presley nodded, her eyes fixed on the tissue in her lap. “He lost all control of himself, and for the first time ever he touched me in a way that was so selfish. I couldn’t allow that. I didn’t want it. At first I thought the aggression was helping him rid himself of something, but then I realized it wasn’t that at all.”
“Not like that is acceptable, because it’s not, and he’s a huge douche bag for it,” Cora said softly. “But he is going through a lot.”
Anger rose alongside the sadness, and Presley pushed off the duvet. “Yeah, well, so am I.” She jumped out of bed in her nightie and began to pace the room. “I told him last night that I didn’t want to be ignored. And yet”—she flicked her hand toward the stupid note—“he’s doing it again.”
Cora crossed her legs on the bed, a line forming between her brows. “You’re right—you don’t deserve that. And you certainly do not deserve to be an outlet for him to unleash his stress.” She paused, then added with a grim voice, “But at the same time, that’s just so unlike Dmitri. I’ve never seen him lose control in any aspect of his life in all the years I’ve known him.”
“I didn’t think it was possible, either.” Presley turned to pace in the opposite direction. “But it happened. I don’t even know the man who touched me last night.” She stopped, then leaned against the dresser, her gaze on Cora. “And you know, it makes me ask questions that I never asked myself before.”
Cora cocked her head curiously. “What kind of questions?”
“Why hasn’t he proposed to me?”
A pause. “Have you guys talked about marriage?”
“Well, not really.” Presley began to pace the room
again, unable to stand still. Yes, Dmitri had his reasons for keeping her out of all this. Yet she had a voice—one she was tired of having silenced. “But he should know I want to be married. I mean, he knows I’m that type of girl. I accepted his collar—why wouldn’t I accept his ring?”
Cora’s gaze drifted to the necklace around Presley’s neck as Presley resumed pacing the room. “I remember Aidan telling me a while back that Dmitri said he wanted to wait because of your family. You didn’t get out of the engagement with Steven all that long ago. I think he wanted your parents to get to know him first.”
“And they have,” Presley shot back. “They love him!”
Cora raised her hands in surrender. “I’m just telling you what I know. Don’t kill the messenger.”
Presley sighed, not wanting to take this out on her best friend, who had always been there for her. Without Cora, Presley never would have met Dmitri, and for two years now Presley had had a life she’d once only dreamed of. One with a man who adored her, took her to erotic pleasures she’d never known, and made her feel special. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be bitchy.” She moved back to the bed and dropped down next to Cora. “I’m just…”
“Pissed?” Cora offered.
“Yes. That.” Presley gave a firm nod, settling back against the soft pillows. “And so much more.” She forced the red-hot emotions away so that she could focus on admitting what was really scaring her. “What if he only sees this as a D/s relationship?”
Cora frowned. “You are in a D/s relationship.”
“No, I mean, he’s treating me like he would a submissive—keeping his problems to himself, looking out for me, and being the big, bad Dom.”
“Um…” Cora eyed Presley. “Sorry if you’re only realizing this now, but that’s kinda what you signed up for.”
Presley waved a hand, trying to find the right words. “I know that he’s all of those things on occasion. And most of the time I love that about him. But I mean, that’s only supposed to happen in the dungeon or during sexy times. That’s what we agreed to. That’s what I want. I don’t want submission all the time. I want my own voice. I want a man standing by my side, not making me stand behind him.”
Cora glanced at her lap for a long moment before finally looking up through her long lashes. “I don’t really know what to say here. I understand where Dmitri is coming from. The thing that means the most to him is falling apart. He feels that the members trusted him and that he’s let them down. He’s scrambling to somehow make this all better.”
“Yes, and that’s my point. That’s the biggest problem of all.” At Cora’s arched brow, Presley explained, “I should be the most important thing to him.”