A frown marred Dmitri’s forehead. “Is this about Mary? Is she still being difficult?”
Elliott almost wished she was being difficult, as that would be easier to deal with. Then he could at least work through the problem. She was completely avoiding him. It made no sense. He knew she wanted him physically. Those lustful looks, even her body language, always leaning in toward him, declared as much. “Difficult would be an understatement.”
Dmitri regarded Elliott, then pressed both arms against his desk, leaning in. “May I ask, how personal have things become between you?”
“For a time, very personal.” Which told Dmitri they had played together without having to say the words.
A silent moment passed before Dmitri’s features softened. “You seem invested in her.”
“Dmitri.” Elliott rubbed his neck, doing all he could to rid himself of the tension he couldn’t control. “She’s turned my world upside down.” He couldn’t stop thinking about her, every second of every day, always looking at his cell phone to see if she’d called.
Desperation ran through him, and he was never a desperate man.
He wanted her.
The passion. The connection. The way she was freed under his touch. How could she ignore all that? He hardly knew her and it was all that consumed his mind.
An emotion crossed Dmitri’s face that Elliott thought resembled pity. “Listen, I’m sorry to hear that, but what she shared with Charles had was special.” He paused and said on a sigh, “Very special. They were more connected than any other D/s relationship I have ever seen.”
No jealously touched Elliott. “Yes, I understand that, but it’s been many years now. For the life of me, I don’t understand why any woman would refuse to allow herself to be happy.”
“I don’t think it’s that simple,” Dmitri said, holding Elliott’s stare. “When Charles died, I imagine Mary did what she always has, be strong for others. Though I think by doing that, she simply forgot to take care of herself, too.”
Elliott had assumed the same by his time with her. “Yes, agreed, but that needs to change.”
Dmitri gave a small nod. “I’m not sure she even remembers who she used to be. I haven’t seen that side of her in a very long time.” Obvious sadness thickened his voice. “Before Charles died, she was vibrant and full of life. So in charge of everyone and everything around her. Then when Charles got sick, all of that light inside her vanished. Her sole focus was on getting Charles better.”
Elliott had seen that light inside her, even if for only a few moments. “Go on.”
“Her life became about Charles’s treatments. She took a leave from her practice and there wasn’t a single conversation I had with her that wasn’t about cancer. If you tried to change the subject, it went right back to that.” Dmitri’s concern for Mary was palpable in his low voice. “I don’t think she has ever truly put her pain to rest. I think she has simply done her best to forget it.”
“That is not living,” Elliott stated.
Dmitri agreed with a nod. “I don’t think she knows how to live without Charles.”
“But you think she could learn how to?”
“I know she deserves to be happy.” Dmitri’s gaze firmed as he leaned back against his chair, sending it squeaking beneath him. “I also know that Charles would want that for her.”
Elliott glanced down to his black slacks, pondering what he’d heard. He finally raised his head and asked the most obvious question: “Have you ever told her that?”
“No,” Dmitri said, shaking his head. “After Charles passed, I suspect I reminded Mary a lot of him. It took her years to see me as much as she does now. And I’m only too glad she’ll visit and not look so sad while doing it. I have no interest in dredging up the past.”
Elliott wondered if that was part of the problem. Did Mary need someone who wasn’t afraid to talk about painful things, or who didn’t tiptoe around the issue? To live again, maybe she just needed to be shown how.
Dmitri added, “Right to the heart of it, as Doms we need to take care of the one who belongs to us, yes?”
Elliott raised a hand, not needing him to continue. “And as a submissive, she gave all of herself to Charles during that time he was sick.”
“Exactly,” Dmitri replied. “She gave everything she had, and I’m afraid that spark that I used to see in her never recovered.” He hesitated, drawing in a deep breath. “I think Mary has gotten so used to not thinking of herself, she forgets the way life used to be. How bright things were. I would imagine she doesn’t see the future…”
Elliott’s chest restricted. “She only sees what she lost.”
Chapter Ten
Minutes before eight o’clock at night, Mary took her seat in the dark red chair, listening to the chatter that always echoed in the historical theater built in the forties. The fan-shaped auditorium was decorated in gold and white, with five levels above the orchestra. Waiting for the musical to start, she sat back in her chair and looked at her cell phone.
Six hours had passed since she boarded the plane for New York City, settled into her hotel in the Theater District in Midtown Manhattan, and shopped for the long, black Nicole Miller evening dress she now wore. She smiled, seeing the e-mail from her younger son, Christian.