Freed (Club Sin 4)
Page 39
“As often as I can,” she replied, missing them with a slight ache in her heart. “They are busy kids, experiencing life. As you know, Cassie lives in New York. My youngest son, Christian, is traveling, and the oldest, Calvin, is at Harvard for business. I know every mother says it, but they really are great kids.”
Elliott smiled.
She regarded him, realizing with heavy guilt that their conversations had been very one-sided. Something she intended to fix now. “Do you have children?”
He shook his head, as the warm light detailed the gorgeous lines of his sculpted face. “I did want children, but it was never in my cards.” She noted a sad edge to his gaze as he ate another shrimp. Then it faded away as he went on. “Now that your kids have moved out, what do you do with your time?”
She glanced down to the mango-avocado rolls, hating the answer she had to give. Meeting Elliott, a new person in her life, had made her see how boring her life had become. Everyone she knew had got used to her hermit lifestyle, she supposed. “Well, work, of course.”
“Yes, but what do you like to do? What do you enjoy doing if you have a day off?”
“Days off, what’s that?” She laughed.
His soft chuckle followed.
She shifted her arm against the pillow and said, “I do see my sister every week for dinner, and Dmitri and Presley, as you know. Other than that, if I’m not visiting with my children, I love hot baths, a good book, or a movie.”
One brow arched. “How about on the weeke
nds?”
“I’m always at the lake house.”
“Alone?”
“Yes, alone.” She knew what he was getting at. “I know it might seem odd to you for me to live such a quiet life, but I’m okay with spending my weekends alone. The kids come down every once in a while, and if not, I’m good with being by myself.”
He frowned. “You’re too personable to be spending so much time alone, darlin’. Others are missing out, not having you in their lives.”
She grinned, feeling her cheeks warm at his compliment, and eagerly decided to get this conversation off her. “What about you, what do you do?”
“My sister lives in Vegas and we get together often.” He grabbed his wineglass off the end table and took a sip before he continued. “You know about the play parties, and I have quite a few friends within the BDSM community and out of it, whom I spend time with. I like keeping busy going to charity events, friends’ parties, just being social.”
Mary smiled, though her chest tightened. She used to love that, too. “Sounds lovely.”
He returned his wineglass to the table and then he brushed his fingers across her cheek, tucking her hair behind her ear. “But those events are just things to keep me busy. This, a quiet life with one woman, is all I’ve ever wanted. To grow old with someone and start a new journey in life once I’m retired. Traveling and simply enjoying the rest of my life surrounded by the people I love is how I hope to spend my days.”
Her throat thickened at the emotion rushing across his features. God, she saw the longing there. He meant what he said, that was clear cut. Truth was, she had wanted that type of life, too. She had loved being social and attending fancy affairs, but she also relished the knowledge that she had a special man to come home to—one whom she could talk to for hours and just enjoy a quiet life with.
Mary had thought she’d found that in Charles.
She believed they’d grow old together.
With her stomach roiling, she moved away from Elliott’s hand and reached for another spring roll. She took a bite, putting a pause in the conversation, collecting herself. So many hopes and dreams she had when she married Charles. She had wanted to retire at fifty-five and travel the world with him. She wanted to sit around at the lake house and watch her grandchildren play. She had wanted forever with Charles.
Ice coated her veins, as she realized now, in this moment, she hadn’t thought of the future in so long. She couldn’t even imagine retiring; what would she do with all her time? What did she even want to do? Did she really want to spend all day at the lake house alone for the remainder of her years?
“I do like to travel as often as I can,” he said, clearly changing the subject for her benefit.
She took a bite of the spring roll. “I used to love traveling.”
“Used to?” He regarded her intently. “What made you stop loving it?”
She froze under his potent stare. His questions were gentle, but also straight to the point. Somewhat embarrassed to admit it to herself, she knew she couldn’t give him a solid answer for why she didn’t travel anymore or why she stayed in her house and avoided new adventures. She knew all of that, because she didn’t have an answer to give. “I should go somewhere, shouldn’t I?”
Elliott agreed with a nod. “Perhaps you should take Cassie with you. You could make it a girls’ trip.”
Then you also wouldn’t be going alone. The unspoken message was clear in his hard stare.